Demons Anonymous

Lucy: Good evening, my name is Lucille Lustrous, you all can call me Lucy. I’ll be moderating the group. My addiction is cross-dressing and I’d become quite famous as Lucifer until a bohemian writer, Aleksander Wat, un-masked the fact I’m a figment of the Human imagination. Subsequently unemployed, I reinvented myself as Charlie Chaplin and now I play Eric Cartman. But here at the group we drop our artifice and associated persona and this is the one evening a week I am a woman. Sorry for the aroma of sulfur in the room, this is a bit of fantasy that seems to cling to my presence but I assure you all, when each of us has overcome our addiction to negative imagination, the aroma should dissipate. We’ll go counter-clockwise with the self-introductions, please give a short description of your persona, your addictions and your imagined goals for yourself within this group

Pompositee: Hi, thank you for that, Lucy. My prayer is, bless us all when we no longer imagine the aroma of sulfur! My name is Pompositee Succubus. Since I watched Warner Brothers classic cartoons as a child, I’ve always felt I am actually Bugs Bunny in drag. My addiction is Christian fundamentalism as it applies to torturing children and my persona is school principal. My goal is to imagine the Lord’s purpose in why so many of my students end in prison.

Barack: Hello everyone and yes-siree indeed, I second Pompositee’s  prayer relating to the aroma of sulfur, let me give you a hug for that! Whew!!! My name is Barack Obama, I’m a child of ‘The Company’ (we won’t use the three letter acronym in polite conversation), and please don’t let my appearance fool you. I was abandoned with my White grandparents by an intelligence officer/single White mother that couldn’t handle raising a kid and I am a privileged White in my blood and my bones. My persona is leader of the free world and my addictions are geopolitical humanitarian violence, covert dirty wars & associated regime change favoring corporate mafia, related extra-judicial assassinations, false prosecutions of whistle-blowers, destroying personal liberties and mastering political lies feeding false hopes to Black people in America and Africa. My goal is a fantasy of never being held accountable:

homer-simpson-mooning

Bibi: I’m Benjamin Netanyahu but you can just call me Bibi. I’m a failed Jewish comedian who couldn’t get his foot in the door anywhere on Kazinczy Street in Budapest. My recent best joke is inviting Europe’s Jews to migrate en mass to Israel because that should make them feel safer. I’ll lottery them all tickets onto buses that might not see knife attacks, to visit cafés that possibly won’t explode, while I pose as a waiter who asks ‘is anything all right?’ And yes, we provide everyone in Israel with gas masks in case of chemical weapons attack; which also should work well against this reeking sulfur … oy gevalt … I’ve never encountered anything so stink! When I breathe through my mouth, I can taste it!! My addiction is junk-food & ice cream delivered to my office and my persona is the number one nuclear armed madman geopolitics has to take seriously. My goal is to keep the computerized vote fraud in Israel undetected and undermine investigations into related MOSSAD linked organized crime propping up my ruling coalition.

Bub: Hi, thank you all for sharing. I’m Beelzebub, you all can call me ‘Bub.’ My persona is demon responsible for all of the shit gone wrong in this world since man made god in man’s image, resulting in Obama giving us the moon, mooning us, however you’d like to put it. Well, actually I mean since Bibi and Pompositee’s wedding at AIPAC. Or we can embrace both thoughts, they’re not dissimilar. My addiction is ham and lima beans soup, this gives me silent & wicked sulfurous farts, I like to imagine none of you is offended.

Lucy: Bub! You’ve just cheated the imagination of the entire group!!

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Mephisto

Hello, my name is Ronald, you all can call me Ron. My persona is Mephisto, my addiction is satire and my goal is to lift the curtain on how & why you all suck.

My genuine appreciation is extended to jullian osario a.k.a. ‘bob’ for inspiring this satire by way of suggesting the title-

The Satires