Archives for category: satire

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One (of the) reason(s) I don’t use marijuana

I’d a couple of incidental encounters with marijuana in high school in the 1960s, but these had been nothing that attracted me to its use. I seem to recall it was mere matter of saying I’d ‘tried it.’ It was in Vietnam my only, serious, sustained use of the plant, had occurred. After Vietnam, I was an ‘on again, off again’ smoker of cannabis, through the 1970s. By the early 80s, I was mostly through the process of weaning myself of this plant altogether, with the rare encounter. By the time of penning this essay, I’ve not ingested this ‘drug’ in over 30 years. Here follows, is one reason why.

I’d recently encountered an anecdote that caused me recalling a story of a time I was staying at Helena, Montana, I think it was the fall season of 1980. There was a bust ongoing (undercover police work) of the local petty weed dealers and one of them panicked, brought a half pound of super-high THC content sinsemilla to an acquaintance who didn’t smoke dope but wasn’t adverse to people who did, for safe keeping. But then, this dope-dealer left town, no doubt due to the ‘noids.’ The guy holding his dope didn’t want it but knew an artist who smoked and went to drop it at his house; the intended recipient wasn’t home but the artists wife accepted the ‘gift’ and then something remarkable happened.

What the guy delivering the dope to his artist buddy didn’t realize was, the wife had had it up to her neck with her husband’s dope smoking, and his dope smoking buddies, because it was her attitude, now that they were married and had small kids, it was time to ‘get serious’ about life and stop with the dope-drain on their budget.

She put the half pound of sinsemilla, together with a couple pounds of butter, into a large wok, simmered it for some hours at very low heat, strained the now green fat through cheese cloth and made up a VERY LARGE batch of VERY STRONG chocolate (to conceal any flavor of cannabis) brownies sans any evidence of dope (included no leafy matter.) She then proceeded to send the brownies off to a large party attended by her husband’s friends, where a local political wag was to announce the formation of Montana’s new “NO-NOTHING” (correct spelling, a deliberate gag on history) political party. The platform of the party was, the Montana legislature meeting every two years for ninety days, should be changed, to meeting every ninety years for two days.

Everyone who attended that event was wrecked, for a week. And I mean wrecked. The party was on a Saturday night and it was Monday morning people showed up to work so dysfunctional, it defies description. One guy spent 40 minutes, panicked, looking for car keys which were clutched in his fist the entire time he was turning his house upside down, while looking for those very keys, in desperate attempt to get off to work.

And, no, nothing, came of the nascent political endeavor, it was as if it had been little more than a passing hallucination. It’s a pity, because, a legislature limited to meeting once in every ninety years, for two days, seemed (and still seems) like a good idea…

Disclaimer: if this story seems familiar, but only that, to certain of my Montana acquaintances, possibly it is because it is based in fact with a caveat; a few ‘small’ details have been ‘modified’ to indict the truly deserving, while more or less shielding the guilty, possibly excepting myself; with a hazy memory (was it a dream?) of ripping my house apart looking for the keys I had clutched in my fist –

Disclaimer #2: My satire in the present genre is to be honest in the Native American way; in effect, constructing a joke story closely resembling real life, a sort of collage of facts assembled from bits and pieces of diverse experience, combined with anecdotal information to create the culturally intact inherent Native wisdom found in their humor. In other words, parts of the story consist of an autobiographical facts incorporated, multi-faceted rip-off of other peoples life stories and experience. And because unlike the White world, the Native world entertains paradox in daily approach to life, some aspects are simply made up from the imagination’s fund of plausible improbabilities –

Related:

Mother’s Day and Male Dopes

The Great Phuc Uuus Massacre

“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.” – Seneca the Younger

This short, brutal essay could have been called jealousy. Or envy. It is about the inter-generational violence of ideas. It is the distilling of what had been simple and straightforward but rendered complicated through centuries of the Christian culture’s pretense of charity; back to the simple and straightforward. In short, it is an essay about a culture that is not compatible with its’ pretensions.

The messiah nobody prophesied

Jesus rarely makes pronouncements or speaks about himself in the first person.  Jesus makes no claim to be the Anointed, the messiah”

Well, it’d be difficult for most Christians in this day and age to accept the idea Jesus never claimed to be the messiah. But hey, guess what? All of the ‘mainstream’ scholars of early Christianity accept the idea Christianity was ultimately created by a group having little to do with the historical Jesus, going so far as to state the movement that co-opted Jesus as its’ cultic hero put words on Jesus lips. Example prima facie is, Jesus did not speak words John put in Jesus mouth:

All New Testament scholars agree that Jesus did not say what John puts into his mouth, but that it is the position of the Gospel’s author”

Now, suppose you’ve named a messiah and you’ve been kicked out of the synagogue, not for that, but for radical departure from the norms governing Jewish society’s cohesion; with incoherent demand Greeks, Romans, and their ilk, be allowed in without regard to the rules. Well, that’s essentially what had happened to the followers of the Pharisee turned apostate Saul, also known as Paul. So, the evictees had to take their messiah with them and claim he was the authentic one. Otherwise, not only do you have a messiah who never claimed the title, you also have a messiah nobody prophesied and you’d have to invent something. Granted, this second instance would be little less ludicrous than an angel named Moron appeared to pastor Smith, as he laughed all the way to the bank, so to speak, at his flock’s naiveté, but that’s human nature:

“You can’t convince a chimpanzee to give you a banana with the promise it will get 20 more bananas in chimpanzee heaven. It won’t do it. But humans will” -Behaviorist Yuval Noah Harari

Quite naturally, human nature being what it is, the eviction caused a lot of injured feeling and consequent name-calling, as the exiled group essentially had not only become Romanized, but now had to come up with a mythology to self-sustain (a foundation of human social structure.) This name calling made it into the new Christian cult’s scriptures, along with a rather childish ‘we’re the real Jews with the real messiah’ assertion, never mind the cultural Jewishness had been squished out of the new group, by the now predominate Greco-Roman elements, a little bit like juice spurts out of a stepped on bug. But that didn’t prevent the new Greco-Roman-Christian theology claiming to be the ‘real Jews’ and the originals to be ‘devil deviant murdered Jesus’ Jews.

Consequently, when projecting subsequent ethnocentric bias (cultural narcissism), you wouldn’t necessarily have to be a Christian to suffer what Christian rooted culture shapes people to experience, a sort of butt-hurt jealousy over Jewish people never surrendered legal title to, or their sovereignty over, the noun Jew, necessary to legitimize what amounts to stolen prophecies of a messiah. It’s a kind of deeply rooted insecurity but nothing unusual within the culture. As mundane as, and possibly why, a lot of people masturbate. Or go on rampage with pogroms.

In related irony, with Christian theology demanding Christians are the real Jews, and hyper-Christian types, or better said in Christian terminology, when radical ‘New’ Jews, like Condoleezza Rice, see opportunity to make a bit of money (with her Chevron stocks), the stereotype is perfect!

Not a very charitable history now, were it? For that matter, the example given is neither a Rastafarian one.

Meanwhile, having been stepped on for well over a millennia by these  ‘New Jews’, it should come as no surprise to any more or less socially astute observer; there will manifest paranoid-insane-psychopath Jews of the original tribe with names like Krystal, Krum, Dershowitz and Netanyahu, whose antipathy to the Christian goy is protective of their own to point of collective, self-destructive madness – in case of Israel taking advantage of USA to fight Israel’s real and/or imagined enemies, inclusive of very real enemies created from acts of pure paranoia.

This ‘better their boys die than ours’ motivation, taken in a rather sardonic light, seems superior to what amounts to attitude of Ann Coulter or ‘shoot them all and let god sort them out’ or, in the case of the related sending fellow Americans to die, a Nikki Haley ‘let those who will be shot, be shot and god will ‘gracefully’ sort them out’ reflection of the Christian psychopath. Such a perfect ‘peace’ is conferred by her ‘jesus.’

By way of balanced perception, it’s a pity these ‘new jews’ had never discovered their own version of Tikkun Olam, or repairing the world we live in; as opposed to an apocalyptic-messianic tradition more resembling a northern pagan or Teutonic Jüngster Tag:

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Related: Jews in the News

Jews in the News

“We have become stupidly politically correct, which is the death of comedy. It’s not good for comedy. Comedy has to walk a thin line, take risks, comedy is the lecherous little elf whispering in the king’s ear, always telling the truth about human behavior” -Mel Brooks, 21 September 2017

Now, this preceding famous Jew’s quote via an anti-anti-Semitic website…

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…is linked to Breitbart:

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So, I already should be confused; Bannon’s allegedly anti-Semitic website (which has at least one ‘self-hating Jew’ columnist) gets a bone toss from an anti-anti-Semitic watchdog while the (accused) anti-Semitic Breitbart and Bannon are roundly warned against by The Times of Israel. Jesus! Could Mel Brooks sort that with comedy?

Mel Brooks very much appreciates the court jester tradition, a tradition under assault from all directions.

Now, what brought out this rant is, former Central Intelligence Agency officer Valerie “of Jewish descent” Plame is racked and pilloried for ‘tweeting’ former CIA officer Phil Giraldi’s column at Unz Review: America’s Jews Are Driving America’s Wars

What we have here is similarly ludicrous to my introduction; A Jew, Ron Unz, is providing a platform, the Unz Review, to an accused anti-Semite, Phil Giraldi, and when Valerie Plame points to Giraldi lambasting the same ‘usual suspects’ unloaded on by famous self-hating Jew Glenn Greenwald…

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…the press unloads on Plame with what amounts to a ‘journalistic’ rapid fire cannon (HERE, HERE and the academic ‘usual suspect’ HERE.)

‘The Hill’ includes this language:

“The article the former CIA operative linked to argues that the neoconservative foreign policy establishment is largely beholden to American Jews with an attachment to Israel. The article’s author, Philip Giraldi, says American Jews shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions related to Middle East policy”

Glenn Greenwald might argue it is the WRONG Jews allowed to make foreign policy. And that’s where Giraldi ‘stepped on his dick’ (a military expression) and I suspected from the moment I saw the title of his article he’d get blasted, because Giraldi didn’t (and mostly doesn’t) give attention to the manifold traps, where if you’re not watching where you walk, the all-encompassing term ‘Jew’ can lead to; because the word Jew is sort of like the La Brea tar-pit of nouns: whether self-hating Jews, apostate Jews, kinda Jews (not of a Jewish mother, also known as wild oats Jews), agnostic Jews, atheist Jews, Marxist Jews, Reform Jews, Reform-Jews-aren’t-Jews-Jews (hyper-Orthodox Israeli Rabbinate designated Jews), quit screwing over the world Jews (also known as Tikkun Olam Jews), Jews screwed over our world Jews (Sephardic Jews), waiting to be saved from themselves Jews (Bibi Netanyahu and his ilk), evangelizing Jews (also known as Jews for Jesus or cover for MOSSAD assassin Jews), J Street Jews, AIPAC Jews, neocon Jews, neo-liberal Jews (Soros), Jews on the Left, Jews on the right, stand up, sit down, Fight! Fight! Fight! It’s a pity Celebrity Death Match never pitted Glenn Greenwald against Alan Dershowitz, it’d be platinum at youtube:

As much as I’d have preferred a ‘Perfected Jew’ Ann Coulter versus ‘Kinda Jew’ Gloria Steinem death match (with no survivor), there’s no authentic center survives in today’s politically correct world lamented by a real hero: Mel Brooks (may he forever be blessed for Blazing Saddles.)

This brings us back to Giraldi and his ‘platform’ run by Ron Unz. Why is it ‘mainstream’ media fries Plame over Giraldi but neglects to mention Unz is Jewish? Is it because,  example given, Unz Review also hosts ‘Über-Zionist’ and historical revisionist Llana Mercer who states:

“Libertarians err in mistaking the 2,000-year-old Jewish right to the land for a biblically-based, religious claim. The claim is first and foremost historical, although naturally, the Hebrew community’s claim to its ancient homeland can’t be reduced to a title search at the deeds office. Jewish rights to Israel proceed from the original ownership of the land: The original and rightful owners were Jews. The fact that they were killed and exiled by the Romans doesn’t nullify their ownership”

Setting aside the upcoming potential evidence for hypocrisy, in case where Llana doesn’t seem to have read Jewish history from whence Israel had been created by exterminating the Canaanites, this recalls cartoonist Stan Lynde’s joke attributed to a Crow tribal chief:

“This has been Crow land from time immemorial, it was always Crow land, there has never been a time it was not Crow land, that is, ever since we took it from the Shoshones!

Considering:

Canaanite is by far the most frequently used ethnic term in the Bible. In the Book of Joshua, Canaanites are included in a list of nations to exterminate, and later described as a group which the Israelites had annihilated”

One would think a Jew, that is Llana Mercer, would get her own book right, what a shame Louis Black didn’t notice her commonality with certain televangelist Christians:

In fact Israel’s right to exist as a modern state is due solely to certain United Nations acts Arab states are bound by for the very fact the Arab states joined the United Nations and contracted themselves to the western standard of international law. Certainly a case of ‘it sucks for Palestinians’ (particularly going to the Israeli middle finger put to subsequent UN acts) but that’s the shit which actually matters.

And so it is, relating to Plame read Giraldi, an act worthy of politically correct firing squad, no one in ‘mainstream’ notes Ron Unz is a Jew who hosts a Paleo Zionist (read pro-Israel propagandist) who deliberately doesn’t get her history right. Mainstream press would leave the impression Giraldi is hosted by an anti-Israel/anti-Semitic website.

Now again back to Giraldi: I read Giraldi because he’s a spook. Likely Plame read Giraldi because she’s a spook. Now, if Greenwald, far out on the liberal-left, and Giraldi, far out on the conservative-right, finger the same neocons who happen to be Jews, that should inform you they’re onto something. Would it matter if Giraldi were anti-Semitic in the case of his noticing an accurate fact? Or does the fact die to conform Plame to a politically correct history of events? Considering the media phenomenon of ‘hasbara‘ and certain outcome in western press resembling this, professional spy Giraldi’s accusations against western media should merit further investigation:

“Hasbara is a form of propaganda aimed at an international audience, primarily, but not exclusively, in western countries. It is meant to influence the conversation in a way that positively portrays Israeli political moves and policies, including actions undertaken by Israel in the past”

Meanwhile, let’s look at a couple cases of historical, however highly politically incorrect, exemplary causes of anti-Semitism:

The Nakba

“For refugees, camps were shelters for the reconstruction of personal and social life, but were also seen as sites of great political significance, the material testimony of what was destroyed and ‘all that remains’ of more than four hundred cities, towns and villages forcefully cleansed throughout Palestine in the Nakba of 1947-9. This is the reason refugees sometimes refer to the destruction of camps as ‘the destruction of destruction.’ The camp is not a home, it is a temporary arrangement, and its destruction is but the last iteration in an ongoing process of destruction.

“This rhetoric of double negation – the negation of negation – tallies well with what Saree Makdisi, talking about the Israeli refusal to acknowledge the Nakba, has termed ‘the denial of denial’, which is, he says, ‘a form of foreclosure that produces the inability – the absolutely honest, sincere incapacity – to acknowledge that denial and erasure have themselves been erased in turn and purged from consciousness.’ What has been denied is continuously repeated: Israel keeps on inflicting destruction on refugees and keeps on denying that a wrong has been done” –Eyal Weizman: ‘The Least Of All Possible Evils’ (Humanitarian Violence From Arendt To Gaza)

Following on this preceding act, Cairo’s Sephardic Jewish population dropped from 75,000 to less than 100. The Arab world had become anti-Semitic practically overnight (overlooking oxymoron in the term anti-Semitic, Arabs are a Semitic people.)

Meanwhile, about the time indigenous Jews had been abandoning the Arab world on account of blow-back due  to ‘Jewish State’ behavior, Alan Ginsberg had revolted conservative America with exploits disgustingly glorified, in detail, by Jack Kerouac in his ode to debauchery ‘On the Road.’ Ginsberg, his behavior lauded by the New York Times via Kerouac and subsequently his own ‘howl‘, is the one American responsible for more USA anti-Semitism than the entirety of whatever other reasons exist taken together. How this shit is generated and real, is buried within political correctness. Never did a ‘free press’ fuck over more people who happen to be Jews, by generating hate at a single pop with glorifying the personage of Ginsberg, but HEY! that’s ‘free speech’ in America.

If my despise for Ginsberg is anti-Semitic (as a non-Jew, am I entitled to hate a single Jew?), then not only is Giraldi anti-Semitic but so would be Paleo-Zionist Llana Mercer.

If you care to wade through the sewer of anti-Semitism in  the comments at Giraldi’s columns at Unz Review, you’ll see Giraldi, on occasion, show his temper at anti-Semitic accusations, and also you’ll notice those comments bashing the anti-Semite morons who cling to Giraldi’s work like flies attracted to stink, are also allowed to post.

Whether Giraldi is an anti-Semite is probably a matter of interpretation. He doesn’t do well at separating out Jews of differing persuasions is the kinder interpretation, as his terminology is often all too inclusive. But this kinder interpretation could be correct. A big step he could take in the right direction would be to clean up his ‘forum’ (article comments) with disallowing the hate-mongers’ posts. But then, that’s an ‘in principle’ violation of ‘free speech’ in the conservative American tradition. An ACLU case of  ‘heads I win, tails you lose’ or ‘it sucks for Phil.’

Insofar as Ron Unz, a read through a chapter of his American Pravda reveals a self-honesty rare in today’s world; leading one to possibly understand his willingness to entertain spooks, kooks and pukes from across the spectrum of what would otherwise be largely suppressed voices. Clearly, Unz coined the term ‘American Pravda’ for a reason. Beyond this, there are numerous innate political enemies juxtaposed at the Unz Review and that should speak to something.

At the end of the day (and hopefully not the world), Jews are like anyone else; there are good and bad among them, they have their bright and they have their ugly. That just makes us all equal in a geopolitic where everyone uses everyone and certainly the Israelis both use and get used (too willingly) in concert with those Christian Zionist allies fully intending at the end, all Jews will be either converted or dead and a crusader banner flying from the Temple Mount. That’s amazing to me but nobody seems to have a trademark protection on self destructive behaviors.

I have to close this diatribe, and considering the underlying current of the entire business has to do with 3rd parties allegedly fighting Israel’s wars, with spooks in the spotlight, I’ll close with an Israeli spook:

“I am a humbler man today than I was in the 1970s when I joined Israeli intelligence. I’ve learned the hard way that everyone makes mistakes, some of them so big that they are irrevocable. I’ve also changed my view of Israel and the Jewish people. When I was young, I shared with many Israelis a deep nationalistic feeling — the self-righteous and arrogant belief that we were right and everyone else was wrong, that it was more important for Jews and Israel to survive than others, that we were — as the Bible says — the chosen people. I still believe that Jews are chosen. But no longer can I accept the premise on which the Iranian arms deals were based: ‘Better that their boys die than ours.’ People are people. We are all chosen”Ari Ben-Menashe

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Giraldi’s rebuttal to the controversy in ‘mainstream’ (external link)

Related at this site:

Christian anti-Semitism

Friedman and the ‘Narrative’

Comic story of a ‘kinda Jew’ girlfriend

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George H.W. Bush (L) & Manuel Noreiga (R)

By Juannabe Zorro and Kitty Litter
Associated Presstitutes

PANAMA CITY (AP) — Former Panamanian dictator Pineapple Face, a onetime CIA asset who was ousted as Panama’s dictator by an American invasion in 1989, died late Monday at age 83.

Panamanian President Juan Carlos Varela wrote in his Twitter account “the death of Pineapple Face closes a leaky chapter in our Yanqui history”

Varela added, “Now, let everybody shut up”

Pineapple Face shot people on CIA orders, causing the deaths of those who opposed the USA and maintained a sexy and close but combative relationship with Langley, Virginia.

As Omar Torrijos’ intelligence chief, Pineapple Face planted the CIA bomb that blew the Panamanian president’s plane out of the sky. Two years after, Pineapple Face became the head of the armed forces and CIA’s proxy ruler of Panama. He was a valued CIA asset and was paid millions of dollars for assistance to the U.S. throughout Latin America, including exploring means to sabotage Cuban leader Fidel Castro.

Pineapple Face helped the U.S. seize rival cartels’ drugs at sea and facilitated money laundering in Panama’s banks that paid for CIA guerrilla and terrorist activities.

At the apex of his power he wielded great influence thanks to a longstanding service of providing underage children to George H.W. Bush, according to AP necromancers’ source Joe Bageant. However Pineapple Face ultimately became dispensable when George H.W. Bush’s sexual attractions were drawn elsewhere, as child sex-trafficking had expanded world-wide with growing globalization.

After he became too open with his CIA narco-trafficking, Pineapple Face served a 17-year drug sentence in the United States, then was sent to prison in France and finally Panama. He spent all but the last few months of his final years in prison to keep him from talking.

USA prosecutors framed up Pineapple Face, accused of helping the sometimes CIA competitor (at other times collaborator) Medellin cocaine cartel ship “tons of a deadly white powder” to the United States.

The defense cited copious discovery documents describing Pineapple Face as the “CIA’s man in Panama” and argued that the indictment “smells of sewage from the CIA controlled narco-trafficking Cuban exile community and Enrique Prado in Miami all the way to Washington.”

Jurors convicted Pineapple Face in April 1992. Under the judge’s instructions, they were told not to consider the political side of the case – including whether the CIA had the right to frame their own man, Pineapple Face, and bring him to a fraudulent trial in the first place.

He accused Washington of a “conspiracy” to keep him behind bars and tied his legal troubles to his refusal to cooperate with his American jailers’ demand he grow a moustache in prison and apply for membership to the Tickle-Dick Hall of Fame, a calculated humiliation.

In recent years Pineapple Face suffered various ailments including Josef Mengele inspired medically induced syphilis as a prisoner of the USA.

When there was no further legal rationale to keep ex-president for life Pineapple Face imprisoned, he was diagnositized, hospitalized, comatized, lobotomized, and finally, euthanized. Just to make sure.

Pineapple Face is survived by too many crack-cocaine addicted children (mothered with Panama City’s street walkers) to count.

© 2017 The Associated Presstitutes. All rights reserved. This material may not be satirized, published, broadcast or redistributed.

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For Jared Kushner, Mike Pence, Bibi Netanyahu & ‘The Donald’

A Heavenly Dialogue

George: Hey Lenny, have you seen Jesus? I’ve got a question for him.

Lenny: He’s never here on weekends, he ALWAYS goes to the Parallel Universe of Tikkun Olam.

George: Why is that?

Lenny: Quantum Mechanics and Communion, every Sunday he’d get all sorts of afflictions if he stuck around, you know, the ‘creating reality’ thing.

George: There has to be a joke in this, right?

Lenny: It’s actually worse than you’d want to think, since the evangelists put words in his mouth to eat Jesus’ body and drink his blood, the liberal Christians give him hives and if that weren’t bad enough, then you’ve got the right-wing pinheads coming down with this cannibal smack, oops, I meant cannibal snack .. all taking a bite out of him, the ultra-right parasite Catholics give him ringworm, the fascist parasitic Protestants give him scabies..

George: Rosicrucians?

Lenny: Rosacia!

George: Holy fuck, no wonder he bails out of the heavens on weekends..

Lenny: Yeah, it’s like why I bailed out of Brooklyn, ultra-orthodox  and little boy butt-fuckery .. all these guys looking like Bavarians in bowler hats with pig-tails in the wrong places, I mean c’mon, wherever you see anything like that, you know something is perverted..

George: Well, I was going to ask him a question, maybe you can help me out. What is up with this ‘Jews for Jesus’ thing?

Lenny: You mean Jews for Jewdas? I mean, here are right wing evangelical Jews praying like Pentecostals for the Jews to be destroyed so they can rebuild the Jewish temple in Jerusalem, call it Christian and get Jesus back .. where’s the sense in that?

George: Well, I was wondering about the ‘makes sense’ part .. I mean, here are Jews trying to covert people into right-wing Christians, and it was right wing Christians had stamped out six million Jews already .. I’d run across this blog “These Jews need Jesus” .. there’s a joke in there somewhere, right?

Lenny: Oh yeah, imagine sending a bunch of pedophile Hasidics to a Puritan chapter of Heaven where no kids are allowed, there’d be a serious riot. As if the corrupt closet-fascist Evangelicals wanted to be outed as well, the schumks!

George: Actually, that’s a GREAT idea.. uh.. Lenny, how many times were you arrested?

It’s not often I’d post up a link to Pink News but this is too rich to pass up; with the New York Times and other (typically lying) media all abuzz with Bannon’s “meeting of  the hearts” (perhaps more appropriately known as a ‘bosom buddies’ crush) with Catholic arch-conservative Cardinal Raymond Burke. Let’s dig deeper and get to the ‘bottom’ of what’s really going on. Traced to the original source, the online, hard right, Opus Dei aligned (fascist), Catholic magazine Aleteia:

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“When you recognize someone who has sacrificed in order to remain true to his principles and who is fighting the same kind of battles in the cultural arena, in a different section of the battlefield, I’m not surprised there is a meeting of hearts,” said Benjamin Harnwell, a confidant of Cardinal Burke who arranged the 2014 meeting”

Going to a ‘meeting of the hearts’ concerning ‘battles in the cultural arena’, one must more than simply wonder exactly what this particular ‘battle’ has to do with internal strife concerning one’s sexuality. Why hadn’t Aleteia just ‘come out’ on behalf of Burke, and stated the obvious; Bannon’s recent ‘bosom buddy’, the mandatory-by-theology-homo-hating Burke, has his own serious sexuality issues:

Screenshot from Fellini’s ‘Roma’ satire of Vatican fashion, 1972:

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Cardinal Raymond Burke at the Vatican in 2013:

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Nearly identical fashion in frocks, you think? Who’d have dared plagiarize Fellini’s designs for the queens of fashion at the Vatican? Some character out of Satyricon, patronizing the Vatican’s new digs?

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^ According to WaPo’s inside sources at Langley, Virginia, we are informed the suspect is almost certainly linked to this story:

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Yo! Steve! What’s up with that shit? How’s that ‘meeting of the hearts’ working out behind closed doors?

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^ Whoa! Bannon! You scored a date with HER? This should be clarified immediately! What’s the current crusading closet agenda concerning the knights over at Sovereign Military Order of Malta? (also known as S’MOM or Steve’s mom)

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Catholic fundamentalist & Trump chief strategist  Steve ‘rosie’ O’Bannon

Related:

Saint Chester Prince of the Church & patron saint of boys

Raphael’s Paradox On Catholic hierarchy & civilization

Deep State VI Opus Dei & Christian Dominion

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Prior to Alternet deleting my soapbox [blog] some years back, I used post a special edition of this ‘story’ up as a Christmas tradition.

Imagine Bing Crosby crooning “I’m dreaming of a White Christmas…” ’24’ is on TV with the sound off. Don reaches over and places his hand softly on Dick’s knee, chuckles, and says “Did you hear Ben Bonk’s sob story?

Cheney puts his hand over Don’s and gives an affectionate squeeze. “I laughed to tears…” The next day they went quail hunting.

Free speech clown series

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Don Rumsfeld & Dick Cheney’s Dog

You all have heard of the first grade primer ‘Dick and Jane’? Well, as fate would have it, Dick did not grow up to love Jane, because Dick (like Don) matured into a homosexual in denial, or “RRR” (sounds like a Rottweiler growl), one of those closet morality, socially/sexually frustrated and consequently mean people known as a Religious Right Republican.

So, this has to be a adult repressed homosexual ‘dick’, or machismo porn variation, of the ‘Dick and Jane’ story. Consequently, the story of how Don Rumsfeld met his demise, because of Dick Cheney’s dog, is pretty screwed up.

It’s called: Don and ‘dick’

Rumsfeld was visiting ‘big dick’ Cheney at Cheney’s ‘spread’ in Wyoming, Cheney was wishing he could have shot George Bush in the face with his shotgun because the coward George flinched and did not pull the trigger on Iran…

While reminiscing missed opportunities at initiating Armageddon, wishing they could have shot more people in the face, especially more Arabs, and about their longing for certain fascists to be in their lives, past and present, secular and religious.. among other things, Rummy suddenly asked ‘big dick’ why his Rottweiler, “Machismo”, was always locked in his kennel.

Mean people have mean dogs and, Dick explained to Don that “Machismo” had an edge about him, Machismo simply could not be trusted around visitors. Dick went on to explain how he wished it were otherwise and how he wished Machismo could be trusted to obey him and only tear apart people that he did not like, he’d tried dog trainers but they cost him money, too much money, because Machismo took a chuck of flesh out of all of them, every dog trainer he had tried. His insurance premiums had gone sky high, all on account of Machismo.

Rumsfeld: “Why don’t you get a different dog?”

Cheney: “Because I love my Machismo.”

Then Don had an idea.

Rumsfeld: “Hey Dick, there is the Arapaho Indian Reservation right up the road, why don’t you get a Medicine Man to take the edge off your Machismo? I saw on the Discovery Channel the Indians can talk to animals, you know they are all devil worshippers, so maybe there is something to it.”

Dick’s eyes brightened considerably, an amazing thing, as though a light had turned on upstairs, but then his brow furrowed back to normal, as though nobody were home.

Cheney: “That’s the problem. They are all devil worshipers, you know, Indians are sorcerers like the Old Testament forbids be ‘found among us.’”

So Don and Dick discussed that and came up with a solution. If they were not at Dick’s ‘spread’ while the medicine man worked with Dick’s Machismo, the sorcerer would not be found ‘among them’ and it would all be ok in the end, because St Paul had said “All things work together for good” for Christians like Don and Dick. So they sent a Secret Service agent to find a medicine man with an explanation of how Dick would like the edge taken off of his Machismo, and then went quail hunting, so the Indian sorcerer would not be ‘found among them.’

The secret service agent found a medicine man, a Blackfoot married to an Arapaho and living in Wyoming, a typical dumb Indian, who with a look of stunned disbelief, kept asking the agent again and again “What!?” After the agent had identified himself four times and explained Dick Cheney wanted the edge taken off his Machismo eight times, a light filled this Blackfoot Indian’s eyes, this agent was serious, and the devil was right at home.

Indians know when the gods deliver the opportunity of  a lifetime, and this was opportunity at redemption. It had been awhile since the medicine men had been noticed, that is, the now days scarce authentic ones, and the agent had stumbled onto the real McCoy. First and foremost, this Indian believed in the Native law of reciprocity and well knew how it worked, something the Whitemen had not sorted out since Jesus had told them about it two millennia ago: “As you sow, so shall you reap.”

In this Indian’s world view, the opportunity was all about deliverance, and the attending attrition from any consequence, a sort of natural quantum mechanics shamanic death manifest by friendly fire, simply would have to be tolerated, because the medicine men are all about manifesting truth, and this native cultural idea taken together with the dogs name, set out the path to healing Dick’s Machismo: The dog would have to be taught how to enjoy narcissistic sex, instead of biting people.

Initially, the medicine man realized he would have to endure Machismo’s instinct to hump his leg, that was disturbing, but to reach the goal beyond… The Indian told the agent, well, ok, he would do it for ‘dick.’ The agent missed the straight faced Indian humor… and utterly failed his agency’s chartered mandate.

Indians are observational people, primarily, and know the purpose of dog butt sniffing rituals, sort of like when a Blackfoot and Cree spot each other from across a boulevard in downtown Calgary, the hair goes up on both backs and both Indians are thinking to the other “You can sniff my butt” in a historical context, and it is not a friendly thought. The actual butt sniffing between them is purely psychic, preceding any challenge and fight, and the medicine man doctoring Dick’s Machismo would need to circumvent this phenomena to achieve his aims. So sorcery came into play. He collected urine from a bitch in heat, rubbed a little of it on his knee, and bringing more along in a vial, he traveled to heal Dick’s Machismo.

The dog was very happy to see him, no hostility or butt sniffing ritual encountered at all, the Indian told the agent he had to work with the dog alone, brought out a plastic baby rattle wrapped in leather with a few strings with beads, to look convincing, and Dick’s fundamentalist christian body guard was more than happy to leave. Then this Indian began to work with Dick’s Machismo… “Now Machismo, my leg is a good beginning, but we have to show you something, you don’t need my leg or me at all, you can do this all for yourself- just follow her scent to where it feels so right….”

In Blackfoot language we have a word, I don’t know how to spell it in the Whiteman’s language, but it sounds something like oww-woe-tops and it means you are crazy and “everyone knows the Whiteman is crazy” is a Blackfoot proverb proven again and again, example given, Dick Cheney hiring an Indian that hates him, as every Indian should, to tame his Machismo. There is another Blackfoot word I dare not try to pronounce here, but it means “Dog Face.” It is about as bad as Blackfeet language profanity gets, and it is not as tame as it might seem, initially. The term refers to a certain facial expression…

Don and Dick were headed back to Dicks ‘spread’, the agent had called and told them the medicine man had pronounced Dick’s Machismo healed and was leaving, and as fate would have it, the medicine man, and Don and Dick, passed each other on the dirt and gravel country road, the Indian pushing his 1968 Chevy pickup named the “Red Jet” as hard as he could, the worn out 327 V-8 boiling blue smoke into the dust storm he was whipping up behind him, windows down, braids flying, wild eyed panic combined with a maniacal mirth at his crime, co-mingled with prayers to all the gods that he WOULD escape… thinking when he saw Don and Dick “you can sniff my butt” while trying to put on as many miles as he could, as fast as he could, to escape Dick’s ‘spread.’ Don said “God Damn”, Dick in the same moment saying “he must have brought along his whiskey”…

Dick and Don, walking to the kennel, turned a corner bringing Machismo into view in that very moment Machismo was swallowing it, gulping himself down with a certain facial expression… Don had a sudden epiphany, and he exclaimed “Machismo sucks!”, and Dick’s perpetual grimace of hate torqued down to the point it actually broke his primitive semblance of a mind, he pulled his permitted concealed weapon…

The camera pans away to the beautiful red rock cliffs of Wyoming, there was a first shot echoed together with Machismo’s dying yelp, Don shouted “NO!” and the second shot was heard… a pause.. the third shot sounded and America never heard Dick Cheney say “Terror” again.

In the here-after, for all of eternity, Don repeated “Look Dick, look. See Machismo suck!” And for all of eternity Dick shot Machismo and Don, again and again and could not kill them or himself (because they were already dead.)

The Secret Service agent kept his mouth shut about his role in the cause behind the Rumsfeld/Cheney murder/suicide, and no one came after the medicine man who laughed for years, again and again like a child, every time he recalled:

“you can sniff my butt”

*

CheneyAztec

HARVEST

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