1

Luis Suarez should be allowed to play again, but only with a rabies vaccination & dog muzzle. The muzzle should not be removable except by the referee, after the match. Now, if there were to be an internet campaign to ‘muzzle’ Suarez, it might get FIFA’s attention and we would see some of the more imbecilic behavior’s curbed, for instance:

2

The Colombian knee into the back of Brazil’s Neymar, fracturing his vertebra, should earn the offending player a lifetime ban. But no serious disciplinary action will be taken, for all of the anti-racist rhetoric read by players from both sides to the crowd prior to the match; because, well, they’re not ‘White’ people and can be expected (by the Euro-centric mentality that is FIFA) to behave like beasts. Noting there was not a ‘White’ victim, so no pressing need to take dire action by FIFA, the anti-racism campaign is simple ‘high morals’ cover for the corruption rotting FIFA to the core. Huh. Maybe Suarez was punished not so much for biting (see preceding note 1), but for biting a ‘White’ man…

3

Real football (that’s soccer to Americans) should absolutely not be a thespian event. Arjen Robben’s ‘flop‘ to win a penalty with a cheat eliminating Mexico, should earn the Dutch a ‘World Cup Poopy Play’ award, not only Robben, but the entire nation, because of the Dutch obsession with all things scatological, producing shitty mentalities willing to stink up a ‘beautiful game’

4

Yellow & Red cards should be introduced for the game’s (BBC) announcers. Ok, so it’s true some footballer’s past their prime would have valuable or practical insights to the action on the field and cannot be expected to comment as though they were literature professors, but …“He ruined his missed opportunity”…? Yellow card.

5

Award the Croatians a ‘world cup whiner’s’ honorable mention… by establishing a new award for biggest World Cup cry-baby (team citation)

6

Force reality on the English, they SUCK at real football (soccer to the Americans) .. no matter William’s knights invented the game with kicking Harold’s head about Hastings battlefield after the fight .. required reading for the English national team & sponsors: ENGLISH FOOTBALL

7

And Team USA? POTUS will keep them home four years hence, as a political statement, on account of the next tournament located in Russia … a precedent set with the 1980 Olympics, reinforced in 2014 at Sochi, a precedent which should actually have been applied to NSA, CIA, DIA (and the additional thirteen or more USA intelligence agencies creating havoc across the globe), keeping them home on account of their rather ugly sportsmanship and underhanded play…

*

S1

At the sports desk…

*

The Satires