Archives for category: transcendent warfare
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Farewell To The Black White-Man

April 12, 2015 //
0

ObamaPick

Relating to the fact we’re entering the 2016 elections cycle, it does NOT bode well to entertain the year and a half of upcoming political soap-opera en route to a preordained conclusion; your vote will not mean shit in an insiders’ culture-club where the Generals at the Pentagon & NATO are pushing us into military confrontation with Russia, sociopaths a step above the more typical organized crime run the international financial system that controls your local bank, international narcotics traffickers control the ‘special activities’ division of, and select who will actually run the CIA, in a political era where it can be plausibly stated the Department of Defense counts your vote (its a ‘software’ issue) and the FBI will NOT investigate cabinet level crime, including their boss or the Attorney General’s refusal to bring prosecutions concerning egregious violations of our foundational law at every department in all branches of government. This is what ‘globalization’ has accomplished folks.

However it might seem unlikely at first sight, what had brought on this particular diatribe is, Raul Castro stating “Obama is an honest man.”

Alternatively, Obama stating “Hillary would be an excellent President.”

HillaryClinton_

Relating to Hillary Clinton, and I’ve posted up these four paragraphs before, here’s a juicy tidbit not many are aware of, but comes with impeccable journalistic credentials. According to Mother Jones Magazine, in Hillary’s own words, she is under the spiritual tutelage of Doug Coe:

“Coe, she writes, “is a unique presence in Washington: a genuinely loving spiritual mentor and guide to anyone, regardless of party or faith, who wants to deepen his or her relationship with God.”

And according to the excellent investigative reporting of Jeff Sharlet on ‘The Family’, the cult which sponsors the ‘National Prayer Breakfast’, Coe, in his own words, is no stranger to violence in politics:

“Doug Coe offered Pol Pot and Osama bin Laden as men whose commitment to their causes is to be emulated. Preaching on the meaning of Christ’s words, he says, “You know Jesus said ‘You got to put Him before mother-father-brother sister? Hitler, Lenin, Mao, that’s what they taught the kids. Mao even had the kids killing their own mother and father. But it wasn’t murder. It was for building the new nation. The new kingdom”

I’ll add here, Obama isn’t the only proven killer (recalling Obama’s ‘kill list Tuesdays‘ with CIA Director Brennan) to endorse the proven killer (Libya & Syria, particularly, and Arab Spring hit-jobs, generally) that is Hillary:

condi

“Hillary Clinton is someone I’ve known for a long, long time. She’s a patriot. I think she’s doing a lot of the right things. She’s very tough. … and she’s got the right instincts” –Condoleezza Rice

Now, returning to Castro performing media fellatio on Obama, I would suppose Castro’s “Obama is an honest man” rationale might have gone something like the following (behind closed doors.)

Castro: You know it was the United Fruit board of directors organized the CIA policy on Cuba since the days of Eisenhower, murdered Kennedy and attempted to blame us.

Obama: I don’t deny it. But you know this cannot ever be acknowledged to the American public, as a matter of fact.

After the meeting, Castro states to the press “Obama is a honest man.”

Whether or not President Castro grasps the inherent contradiction in his statement, that’s geopolitics, folks.

In the meanwhile, it would appear a cold calculation has been adopted; Cuba could not be taken by coercion, and so will be taken instead by cultural and economic co-option.

Also what cannot ever be acknowledged to the public are just a few more salient facts; a religious cult consisting of generals and politicians embedded in NATO has gained control over the tactical nuclear weapons that likely will initiate erasing the Middle-East and Europe from the globe, ‘globalization’ has so integrated the military-industrial complex of the Western democracies to the economies of the world, if wars were to decline and weapons production dramatically slow, it would collapse the world’s economic engine. Nature cannot sustain the ‘sustained development’ economic model in any case and environmental collapse will collapse civilization regardless .. and as the system stands, we only are provided with leadership desperate to keep together what cannot be held together regardless, national constitutions & the rule of law notwithstanding.

And so it is, the greatest bait and switch since the church marketed Jesus, the infamous Black White-Man that is Barack Obama, son of a White intelligence officer, mentored by the CIA, will step aside for a 70 years old criminal religious-conservative posing as a ‘liberal’ who in actuality follows a Bush family adviser-spiritual guru in love with Mao, Hitler and Pol Pot. And in what will be a carefully crafted ‘heads I win, tails you lose’ circumstance or ‘fail-safe’ electoral outcome, Hillary’s likely opponent will be Jeb Bush (or some other ‘family’ man.)

George_W._Bush_and_family

^ The ‘first family’ within ‘the family‘ ^

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Deep State I Foundation article

Deep State II FBI complicity

Deep State III CIA narcotics trafficking

Deep State IV NATO & Gladio

Deep State V Economics & counter-insurgency

Deep State VI Opus Dei & Christian Dominion

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Categories AIPAC, assassinations, CIA, corruption, counter intelligence, crime, narcotics trafficking, politics, propaganda, religion, social responsibility, transcendent warfare, treason

Marquis de Sade

April 10, 2015 //
2

Marquis_de_Sade

Sapsuckers
Salved
Sadie’s
Sockets
on
Hawkin’s Day!

“Of all the writers and thinkers of the 18th century, Sade was among the few to gaze, without flinching, into the worst of human nature, in particular the capacity of inflicting want, pain and destruction upon others” -Geoffrey Roche

I take exception to two elements of the academic Roche’s statement.

In the first instance, it is the idea Sade had any equal as a French philosopher during his age. As much as I might appreciate Montaigne:

“The women are right in their way of breaking the rules, because men made them without asking women”

Or Voltaire:

“The history of the great events of this world are scarcely more than a history of crime”

Sade exceeds both; in his unvarnished, unflinching depiction of European cultural mentality and straightforward determination to unmask this necrotic social phenomena for what it is. The second instance I take exception to, is the descriptive term “human nature.” What Sade explored as a philosopher is NOT ‘human nature‘ but the underpinnings of a social and cultural cruelty specific to Europeans and their several progeny via colonialism. I am not aware of a larger ethnocentric bias (cultural narcissism) than European culture’s and that culture’s academics. That Europeans somehow believe their mentality and ability to perceive ‘human nature’ is in some sense exclusive is not the point of the essay on Sade; but pointing to this prejudice is helpful to understand how Sade fits in the  ‘pantheon’ of Western philosophy.

In short, Sade was the result of a convergence of circumstance; his father was a diplomat, as well, a debauched-orgy-engaged nobleman in the court of Louis XV. The younger Sade was educated in his early years by his uncle, a debauched-orgy-engaged abbot and then young Sade, a disciplinary problem, was turned over to the Jesuits to be educated further. Let’s put this into a bit of perspective:

^ From this (above) to Lycée Louis-le-Grand run by these people:

In other words; from the governing institution of France in all of its decadent, orgiastic splendor, to education at the institution responsible for producing a ruling class of people resulting in persons like Sade’s ‘uncle abbot’ who’d introduced him to orgies as a six year old. Immersed in sex already, the Jesuits introduced Sade to extreme violence with flogging for purpose of discipline. By the time de Sade was an adolescent, he’d been immersed in sex and violence, for years.

What makes de Sade interesting is not the cruelty he inspired people to explore more or less openly in subsequent generations, but the institutional cruelty he explored, fearlessly, and the institutional cruelty he consequently described, honestly. ‘Institutional’ is the key term here. He beat Linda Blair (‘The Exorcist’) by two hundred years with introducing the crucifix into sex acts in media, perhaps the most accurate metaphor for the institution of Christian civilization, ever.

De Sade was imprisoned for much of his life for that peculiar crime of exposing his culture’s hypocrisy. He openly practiced what is only allowed to be practiced behind closed doors; making him France’s greatest philosopher .. insofar as those speaking to the facts honestly.

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Perverts of Western Philosophy

The Satires

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Categories corruption, crime, culture, male hierarchy, philosophy, politics, psychology, religion, transcendent warfare

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

April 9, 2015 //
1

Rousseau

Consigned
To Hell
Five Rousseau
Infants did
Die abandoned

The first thing you need to know about Rousseau is, he sent all his children to certain death, as newborns, abandoning them to a 1700s Paris orphanage (there is no record of a survivor.) Why? His ‘wife’ (of his own choosing) was ‘low-born.’ The second thing necessary to know is he plagiarized the ideas of a truly original thinker:

“False, vain as Satan, ungrateful, cruel, hypocritical, and wicked … He sucked ideas from me, used them himself, and then affected to despise me!” -Diderot

Converted to Catholicism as a matter of expediency, he later reconverted to Calvinism (as a matter of expediency.) Such is the stuff makes up the collection of corpses littering the French ‘Pantheon.’

“Man’s first law is to watch over his own preservation; his first care he owes to himself; and as soon as he reaches the age of reason, he becomes the only judge of the best means to preserve himself; he becomes his own master” -Jean-Jacques Rousseau, The Social Contract

At the end of the day, Rousseau presents a society underwritten by sociopaths; and as such, he proposes the foundation underlying his ‘social contract.’ The Western philosophy of ‘reason’ is a system where the consequent ‘gift’ of democracy is represented in those many statues glorifying a psychopath‘s ‘republic’ of vanity:

 Carla Bruni-Sarkozy dressed in workwear

“I prefer polygamy and polyandry” –Carla Bruni-Sarkozy

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Perverts of Western Philosophy

The Satires

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Categories culture, philosophy, politics, psychology, religion, social responsibility, transcendent warfare

René Descartes

April 8, 2015 //
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rene-descartes

 Vivum
Sectus
Aperta
Sine
Anaesthesia

From the superior English torturers smirk we now arrive at the uniquely French pout of smug vanity. Going to the Egyptian “to speak of the dead is to make them live again” we’ll perform a vivisection on the reanimated nose of René Descartes returned to life as a cat:

Descartes_Cat

“I find it almost impossible to believe that René Descartes, not known as a monster, carried his philosophical belief that only humans have minds to such a confident extreme that he would blithely spread-eagle a live mammal on a board and dissect it” -Richard Dawkins

Well, one might nearly give Dawkins credit *BUT* this appears mere matter of degree when it comes to the philosophers. Did Dawkins note Francis Bacon was a torturer of men? I didn’t actually look into the question but will note Dawkins musings on Descartes was certainly not informed by fishing with live bait:

“Plants cannot think, and you’d have to be pretty eccentric to believe they can suffer. Plausibly the same might be true of earthworms” -Richard Dawkins

Well, Mr Dawkins, I can assure you, earthworms writhe mightily in pain, while being skewered the length of their bodies on a fish-hook, where technique requires the shank of the hook must be entirely concealed in the worm’s living flesh. And plants can’t think? That is one ‘almighty’ (Descartes God?) assumption. Let’s call Dawkins ‘Descartes lite.’ Where Descartes (and Dawkins) philosophy dies, is in the modern lab:

“The doctrine that the world is made up of objects whose existence is independent of human consciousness turns out to be in conflict with quantum mechanics and with facts established by experiment” -theoretical physicist Bernard d’Espagnat 

Last time I checked, plants & trees were still objects for purposes of science and yet are known to communicate  by land and by air … Dawkins might rather have considered how close he is to Descartes.

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Perverts of Western Philosophy

The Satires

Devolution Part 1

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Categories culture, philosophy, satire, science, transcendent warfare

Thomas Hobbes

April 7, 2015 //
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Hobbes

Beastly
Brute
Bettered?
By
Hobbes-nailed boots!

Thomas Hobbes registers off the scale on the ‘smirk-o-meter’ .. where his greatest contribution to Western philosophy is a typical self-imploding set of contradictions. In an era where Gutenberg had made it possible for anyone who could read to become a blogger (not difficult, ‘mass’ circulation in those days excluded the illiterate masses) Hobbes, finding himself at loose ends, decided he would become a Western philosopher or ‘confidence man’ (the better description.) The recipe is simple; fill a 900 liter bag with verbiage-verbosity (like Bernard-Henry Lévy), slanted as to so incredibly complicate a subject (à la James Joyce), resulting in generations of those less endowed with gifts of BS spending endless semesters wrestling a ‘Leviathan‘, whilst attempting sense of nonsense.

Distilled from Hobbes’ inordinately complex, attempted order of things, his points may be summed up so: In our natural state or in raw ‘nature’, mankind is an inestimable beast prone to every savage act where:

“the life of man [is] solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short”

And in the same moment, without Man’s ‘natural’ understanding, God’s inspirations cannot be known:

“we shouldn’t renounce our senses and experience, or our natural reason, which is the undoubted word of God”

Do you suppose Hobbes actually meant to insinuate understanding derived from a ‘naturally endowed’ beastly nature inspires one to deeper knowledge of God’s message? Is he acknowledging ‘God’s image, man’ is quite naturally possessed of the violence we have seen Englishmen visit upon every culture deemed inferior to their own? Certainly not. If Hobbes were of a proclivity to be honest, he wouldn’t have to bury the contradictions of his culture in a massive circumlocution that can serve no other purpose than to conceal the facts. What we are actually looking at is, the phenomena of Western philosophers burying contradictions in complications, so those contradictions never have to be faced. Hobbes is a master of this common (but patently dishonest) philosophical method.

The result is no surprise, a culturally self-justified, rationalization for an unquestioned, unlimited State authority to rule over men; Hobbes would not only be a supporter of the Divine Right of Kings & colonialism but in today’s world, a modern police state. Hobbes provides apparatus of state with philosophical avenue to know empathy for the Robert Mugabe and Kim Jong-uns’ of this world (as easily, a Barack Obama or his sycophant David Cameron.) They’re all cut from a similar philosophical cloth.

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Perverts of Western Philosophy

The Satires

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Categories culture, philosophy, transcendent warfare, Uncategorized

David Hume

April 6, 2015 //
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Allan Ramsay, David Hume, 1711 - 1776. Historian and philosopher

What is
Had ought
Not
Wish
To wash

David Hume’s impossible postulation…

“In every system of morality, which I have hitherto met with, I have always remarked, that the author proceeds for some time in the ordinary ways of reasoning, and establishes the being of a God, or makes observations concerning human affairs; when all of a sudden I am surprised to find, that instead of the usual copulations of propositions, is, and is not, I meet with no proposition that is not connected with an ought, or an ought not. This change is imperceptible; but is however, of the last consequence. For as this ought, or ought not, expresses some new relation or affirmation, ’tis necessary that it should be observed and explained; and at the same time that a reason should be given, for what seems altogether inconceivable, how this new relation can be a deduction from others, which are entirely different from it. But as authors do not commonly use this precaution, I shall presume to recommend it to the readers; and am persuaded, that this small attention would subvert all the vulgar systems of morality, and let us see, that the distinction of vice and virtue is not founded merely on the relations of objects, nor is perceived by reason”

…is summed up in Western ethics as ‘Hume’s guillotine’ or the ‘ought-is problem.’ Now, forgive my naiveté when faced with this immutable Western dilemma of philosophy where the ‘ought-is problem‘ is posed…

“how, exactly can an “ought” be derived from an “is”? The question, prompted by Hume’s small paragraph, has become one of the central questions of ethical theory”

…as it occurs in my small universe if my ass IS dirty I had OUGHT to wash it. Correct? Or, if it is in the natural order of things one were to have a dirty ass as a matter of fact, expectation and normalcy, and those hairy-assed little shit-balls, quaintly known as ‘dingle-berries’ in the vulgar tongue, must endure .. would it be a violation of IS to pull them out? Had one OUGHT *NOT* do that? What I’m getting at is, there was this time during my progressing baldness I had my head waxed to remove what amounted to an annoying residual fuzz. Now, it’d never occurred to me (previous to faced with Hume’s ‘ought-is problem’) hairy people OUGHT to have an ass-wax-job, but now this seems a logical progression from dirty ass as a result of hairy ass-crack, or that is an IS to an OUGHT.

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Perverts of Western Philosophy

The Satires

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Categories philosophy, satire, transcendent warfare

Francis Bacon

April 5, 2015 //
1

francis_bacon

Ever true to his name
Buggerer
Pedophile
Of Star Chamber fame
Bacon smelt game

If anyone were inclined to explore scientific ’empiricism’ to its roots, they’d find a real pig of a personality. Sir Francis’ keen sense for detecting political aroma on the breeze had been seldom overcome by his own stark odor of rancid bacon. Sycophant extraordinaire in the courts of Elizabeth I & King James (Stuart), Bacon is portrayed as a tender soul, never mind he promoted the (politically expedient) executions of Mary Queen of Scots and Robert Devereux, Earl of Essex, his ‘former’ friend, and subsequently tortured to obtain confession from Edmund Peacham. King James (yes, King James of ‘Holy Bible’ fame) instructed (after consulting Bacon on the legality of the procedure) that:

“attorney-general Bacon .. ‘put Peacham to the manacles as in your discretion you shall see occasion if you find him obstinate and perverse, and not otherwise willing or ready to tell the truth.’ Next day the torture was applied in the presence of the persons named, and he was examined ‘before torture, in torture, between tortures, and after torture’ .. Peacham is described as an old man at the time, and the inhumanity of the proceedings was revolting”

manacles-tower

Peacham was left hanging (repeatedly) as his body weight, rather slowly, dislocated his wrist, elbow and shoulder joints .. tearing muscles and tendons in the process, a method considered ‘more humane’ than obtaining essentially the same physical result via ‘The Rack.’ This is method reportedly utilized by the CIA at various ‘black site’ jails but glossed over in favor of focus on water-boarding (of Spanish Inquisition fame.) At the time, Bacon was ‘clerk’ of the ‘Star Chamber’ which had been a court resembling our own FISA court and why we had founders determined to certain legal insurance via a the Fifth Amendment in our ‘Bill of Rights’ (it would seem no longer in force.)

Bacon’s Star Chamber position allowed for his prisoner facing torture to 1) self-incriminate 2) face charge of perjury if unsatisfactory answers were provided or 3) be held in contempt if no answer was given.

A reputed pederast accused of ‘buggery’ (which he denied), as well a habit his brother, educated by the same cleric, was also reputed to be fond, prosecutions for this in the upper class seemed rare; as King James was apparently of identical persuasion. Bacon went on to write of an utopia where no scent of ‘masculine love’ was to be found; and as if to convince, he married a 14 years old girl at age 48. Her subsequent preference for other men points to a rather starved appetite, which can come as no surprise. And it is of this rancid bacon, folks, inspiration for the modern ’empirical method’ comes to us behaving as an intolerant religion; replete with ‘scientific’ dogma and its narrow rut of inquiry.

Meanwhile, at Cambridge:

“The earliest known version of The King James Bible, perhaps one of the most influential and widely read books in history, has been discovered mislabeled inside an archive at the University of Cambridge. The find is being called one of the most significant revelations in decades. It shows that writing is a process of revising, cutting, and then more rewriting. The Bible is no different in this regard, even though some conservative Christians claim it is the divine word of God himself. Perhaps God, then, is a revisionist. This find certainly seems to suggest that…”

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Perverts of Western Philosophy

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The Satires

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Categories philosophy, politics, religion, science, transcendent warfare

Jeremy Bentham

April 4, 2015 //
2

Jeremy_Bentham

It were one Jeremy
Put a scare in thee
Stuffed wit straw
But for his maw
Menacing his posterity

Call him ‘The Headless Horseman’ of philosophers. Bentham arranged to have his skeleton padded with straw and stitched into his clothing .. where he’s since dwelled in a closet (for the past 183 years.) This is quite apropos as he was altogether unsuccessful when he’d sought to decriminalize homosexuality. Because his mummified head is too grotesque to gaze upon, it is kept locked away and does not attend those College of London council meetings where Bentham’s wax substitute for his dehydrated brains is perched on his bones and listed at roll call as ‘present but not voting.’

Like so many champions of modern democracy, for instance Barack Obama and David Cameron, Bentham espoused individual freedoms while in actual fact he’d been busy designing the precursor to our present day surveillance state:

The Panopticon is a type of institutional building designed by the English philosopher and social theorist Jeremy Bentham in the late 18th century. The concept of the design is to allow a single watchman to observe (-opticon) all (pan-) inmates of an institution without the inmates being able to tell whether or not they are being watched. Although it is physically impossible for the single watchman to observe all cells at once, the fact that the inmates cannot know when they are being watched means that all inmates must act as though they are watched at all times, effectively controlling their own behaviour constantly. The name is also a reference to Panoptes from Greek mythology; he was a giant with a hundred eyes and thus was known to be a very effective watchman

Jeremy Bentham had been the prime candidate for patron saint of the National Security Agency, that is until a debate arose; whether he’d been the inspiration for a shepherd’s sexual encounter with a body of straw stitched into a man’s clothing:

Scarecrow_sex

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Perverts of Western Philosophy

The Satires

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Categories philosophy, politics, psychology, transcendent warfare, Uncategorized

John Locke

April 3, 2015 //
1

john-locke

In days of old
When knights were bold
And babies weren’t prevented:

One tied a sock
Around his cock
And condoms were invented!

Ok, so the first problem I have with John Locke is his  philosophy demands all men are born a completely blank slate upon which everything is drawn subsequently. In effect, there is no innate knowledge bestowed on man. If that is true, then his holding…

“The Bible is one of the greatest blessings bestowed by God on the children of men. It has God for its author; salvation for its end, and truth without any mixture for its matter. It is all pure”

…demands “God” who ‘created man in his image‘ couldn’t know the difference between his own ass and either end of a hollow log, when he’d arrived on the scene in Genesis. No small wonder everything is fucked up. Well, considering this small aspect of reality, I suppose John Locke could be construed to have done the enlightenment a great favor; except it seems no one had taken note (including Locke) of a phenomena where Locke demands a portrait of god based in our ‘perfect’ human ignorance.

If you enjoy the torture James Joyce puts a reader through, this philosopher is for you; but first check out this butt-kissing introduction of Locke’s “Essay Concerning Human Understanding” .. if you actually can read through the entire thing and go on to enjoy Locke’s tortured rationalizations, recalling this rank political fellatio over his ‘lordship’s favors’ is no more than a brief foreword to Locke’s treatise, you may award yourself a sadomasochist of philosophy medal –

THIS Treatise, which is grown up under your lordship’s eye, and has ventured into the world by your order, does now, by a natural kind of right, come to your lordship for that protection which you several years since promised it. It is not that I think any name, how great soever, set at the beginning of a book, will be able to cover the faults that are to be found in it. Things in print must stand and fall by their own worth, or the reader’s fancy. But there being nothing more to be desired for truth than a fair unprejudiced hearing, nobody is more likely to procure me that than your lordship, who are allowed to have got so intimate an acquaintance with her, in her more retired recesses. Your lordship is known to have so far advanced your speculations in the most abstract and general knowledge of things, beyond the ordinary reach or common methods, that your allowance and approbation of the design of this Treatise will at least preserve it from being condemned without reading, and will prevail to have those parts a little weighted, which might otherwise perhaps be thought to deserve no consideration, for being somewhat out of the common road. The imputation of Novelty is a terrible charge amongst those who judge of men’s heads, as they do of their perukes, by the fashion, and can allow none to be right but the received doctrines. Truth scarce ever yet carried it by vote anywhere at its first appearance: new opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common. But truth, like gold, is not the less so for being newly brought out of the mine. It is trial and examination must give it price, and not any antique fashion; and though it be not yet current by the public stamp, yet it may, for all that, be as old as nature, and is certainly not the less genuine. Your lordship can give great and convincing instances of this, whenever you please to oblige the public with some of those large and comprehensive discoveries you have made of truths hitherto unknown, unless to some few, from whom your lordship has been pleased not wholly to conceal them. This alone were a sufficient reason, were there no other, why I should dedicate this Essay to your lordship; and its having some little correspondence with some parts of that nobler and vast system of the sciences your lordship has made so new, exact, and instructive a draught of, I think it glory enough, if your lordship permit me to boast, that here and there I have fallen into some thoughts not wholly different from yours. If your lordship think fit that, by your encouragement, this should appear in the world, I hope it may be a reason, some time or other, to lead your lordship further; and you will allow me to say, that you here give the world an earnest of something that, if they can bear with this, will be truly worth their expectation. This, my lord, shows what a present I here make to your lordship; just such as the poor man does to his rich and great neighbour, by whom the basket of flowers or fruit is not ill taken, though he has more plenty of his own growth, and in much greater perfection. Worthless things receive a value when they are made the offerings of respect, esteem, and gratitude: these you have given me so mighty and peculiar reasons to have, in the highest degree, for your lordship, that if they can add a price to what they go along with, proportionable to their own greatness, I can with confidence brag, I here make your lordship the richest present you ever received. This I am sure, I am under the greatest obligations to seek all occasions to acknowledge a long train of favours I have received from your lordship; favours, though great and important in themselves, yet made much more so by the forwardness, concern, and kindness, and other obliging circumstances, that never failed to accompany them. To all this you are pleased to add that which gives yet more weight and relish to all the rest: you vouchsafe to continue me in some degrees of your esteem, and allow me a place in your good thoughts, I had almost said friendship. This, my lord, your words and actions so constantly show on all occasions, even to others when I am absent, that it is not vanity in me to mention what everybody knows: but it would be want of good manners not to acknowledge what so many are witnesses of, and every day tell me I am indebted to your lordship for. I wish they could as easily assist my gratitude, as they convince me of the great and growing engagements it has to your lordship. This I am sure, I should write of the Understanding without having any, if I were not extremely sensible of them, and did not lay hold on this opportunity to testify to the world how much I am obliged to be, and how much I am your Lordship’s most humble and obedient servant-

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Perverts of Western Philosophy

The Satires

 

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MERGE

April 1, 2015 //
0

“You can’t convince a chimpanzee to give you a banana with the promise it will get 20 more bananas in chimpanzee heaven. It won’t do it. But humans will” -Behaviorist Yuval Noah Harari

MERGE

National Public Radio interview with Professor Bwana Ungawa; Honkus Screed Chair in Philology; Noam Chomsky School of Linguistics, Lord Greystoke Institute of Technology

NPR: So tell us Professor Ungawa, give some understanding to lay science people and reporters like myself, what is the acronym MERGE? How were you inspired to this theory?

Ungawa: Macaroni Enhanced Radio Gestation Etymology or MERGE, came to me in a meditative state when attempting digesting pasta.

NPR: Ok, so that explains the ‘macaroni enhanced’ aspect but what is ‘radio gestation etymology?

Ungawa: As Descartes noticed, we appear to be speaking freely in a way deemed appropriate to circumstances but is not caused by the circumstances. Or in lay terms, ‘Just plain BS.’ So we can produce speech over an unbounded range, constantly inventing irrelevant crap, in a way that is not determined by external stimuli and in a way that does not seem to be caused by any internal structure. And we can produce this bullshit in ways that others with similar capacities to absorb crap can comprehend and recognize as nonsense similar to their own. Well, that sort of creative aspect of comprehension is a total mystery. But that’s my language. Now questions arise for everything; bullshit visionaries in science; bullshit organization of motion or the sport of cricket particularly; bullshit audition or hearing voices in our heads, particularly our own voices that tend never to shut up; bullshit arithmetical ability mostly prone to numbers that don’t add up .. for instance Keynesian economics; bullshit comparisons to chimps fluent in sign language whose paintings are as accomplished as those by masters of modern art, any pseudo-cognitive bullshit. Bullshit happens. In language, bullshit spreads like memes. So, all of this verbiage and related crap, gestated in idle imagination, is my etymology spread via media, for instance radio.

NPR: Ok, well said professor. But let’s followup that idea; for example we have Sesame Street consigns philosophy to an entity that lives in a garbage can…

Ungawa: As per your example, each of us has somehow acquired the capacity for crap which, from the very first step, is largely mysterious. Take a child. Almost instantly and reflexively, he or she is able to embrace, out of the environment, all datum which is garbage related. How? A chimpanzee has roughly the same auditory & visual system but plainly it does not. And that is just the first step that is not understood. How did we acquire the infinite capacity to produce and immerse in rather endless, inane bullshit?

NPR: What can we say points toward this human genius for constructs? Are there any clues?

Ungawa: The most elementary combinatorial operation which finds its place somewhere in every computational process is simply an operation that takes two objects already constructed and forms a new object out of them. For instance a toilet and seat to the combined brilliance of a toilet seat. That is MERGE. This occurred to me while I had the seat up, when hurling my pasta.

NPR: So, the regurgitation of ideas is innate?

Ungawa: Whatever the lexical genitalia are, they have to be put together, and the easiest way for them to be put together is for some process to attract them, like estrus or ‘heat’ in layman’s terms. That’s MERGE. If you need more than that, then ok, there’s more – like cunnilingus – and anything more will be specific to language. For instance ‘blow-job.’

NPR: So language is as old as any sex act would be a cognitive event?

Ungawa: You got an operation that enables you to take sexual objects or concepts of similar sort, already constructed, and make highly enhanced or imaginative sexual objects out of them. That’s MERGE. As soon as you have that, you have an infinite variety of hierarchically structured expressions, such as dildos, available to you. This is why obelisks, dildos on a grand scale if you will, are expression of language through symbolism throughout civilization.

NPR: So, it’s not a question of which came first? The dildo or the language?

Ungawa: It looks as if – given the time involved – there was a sudden ‘great leap forward.’ Some small genetic modification somehow morphed us all into Maos and made this human capacity for dildoism possible. And with it came an entire range of lethal options that are available to humans within a theory of mind – a follows-orders theory of mind – so you know that some petty tyrant is trying to kill you because you don’t think what somebody else wants you to think.

NPR: A sort of ‘just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after you’ phenomenon?

Ungawa: Well, paranoia takes place not only in a person, but also a group. We know, from physical anthropology, that this was a very small copulating group – some little group of bonobo in a corner of some playboy paradise – apparently. It was in that group, in Desmond Morris’ Tarzan, or that is to say within an anthropomorphized naked ape, some observation took place, leading to some future hominid adapted capacity of language; pointing to evolutionary event like Mao’s great leap forward. Dildoism wouldn’t have arisen without this critically important person.

NPR: Professor Bwana Ungawa, thank you for your time.

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note: this satire is based on actual interviews with Noam Chomsky whose quotes I have ‘modified’ (to say the least.)

Ron10

Satire by Ronald

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The Satires

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Categories culture, philosophy, satire, science, social responsibility, transcendent warfare
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