This satire can be found in earlier edition at Fort Russ News
^ Trump’s Impeachable Offense
So, Joe Biden pressured Ukraine to drop criminal investigation into Burisma (had the prosecutor fired) that would (almost certainly) have implicated his kid (and himself for using the power of his office) in a typical politically corrupt get rich(er) quick scheme.
Then, Trump had the audacity to pressure Ukraine to reopen the investigation as a campaign tactic, and according to the morons pushing this s**t through the House of Representatives, this is an impeachable offense. So, we have a scenario where one corrupt moron, that is Trump (and Republican minions) is up against another corrupt moron, that is Biden (and Democratic minions), in a USA elections season and there is absolutely nothing new under the sun in this circumstance of dirty tricks except the degraded mentalities exposed in present process.
“The Committee intends this hearing to serve as an opportunity to discuss the historical and constitutional basis of impeachment, as well as the Framers’ intent and understanding of terms like ‘high crimes and misdemeanors”
Now, a hearing is set to determine just what, if anything that has turned up, is impeachable according to the Constitution’s framers intent and examination of precedent. Maybe we could have been spared all of this s**t if every ballot in the USA was required to have a ‘none of the above’ category and Americans were no longer bound to the ‘hold your nose and vote’ phenomenon in our several elections’ exercise of civic duty.
But we haven’t been spared.
Insofar as precedent, it should be argued on behalf of Trump’s ‘innocence’ that, dirty tricks related to fascist-type behaviors are part & parcel of the American republic’s electioneering since the beginning. In a historical context, what is going on today is little different to what was happening during the election of 1800 … one need only substitute France for Russia and the Alien and Sedition Acts for the Patriot Act, whip up public hysteria and wellah: Maria Butina would be a native of Paris.
Now, let’s replace Donald Trump with Thomas Jefferson and watch “Shifty Schiff”, Jerrold Nadler and Nancy Pelosi use Jefferson’s erection like a pole vaulter’s stick; over the election campaign season of 1800 revelation Jefferson had been in what amounted to a longtime rape relationship with his slave Sally Hemmings. Not going to impeach Trump over his many years association with Jeffery Epstein? Why not? Because that would drag in Bill Clinton? Well, they didn’t impeach Jefferson…
Relevant to this, if ‘Blow-job Bill’ couldn’t be convicted for putting his dick into skank Lewinsky’s mouth, it certainly wasn’t for lack of effort. Since we’re dealing with matters of law and precedent, let me offer a tip to our neo-Roman senate in present circumstance; the great missed opportunity of 1999 was, no one of our senators had the creative genius to move for dismissal of charges “with prejudice” by pointing out that if ‘servicing a cocksucker’ were raised to level of a ‘high misdemeanor’, it should become exceedingly difficult to find anyone qualified to hold the office. Chief Justice Rehnquist would then have had opportunity to rule ‘servicing a cocksucker’, if not ‘natural’ law, is nevertheless so widespread as to determine ‘servicing a cocksucker’ must be part and parcel of the American social & political fabric; thereby forever cementing Congress’ relationship to lobbyists. This should have spared us all the lying corporate voyeurism of ‘Citizens United’ having done exactly that.
The Logic Behind The American Vote – Some toilet paper is scented. Most toilet paper is flushed. It follows, some flushed toilet paper will smell good:
Then, the election season of 1860 should be examined, particularly the Republican nominating convention at Chicago. The Native American (Ojibwe) root word “chicag” in ‘Chicago’ translates variously (depending on context) as “foul”, “stinks”, “skunk”, or “ass grease.” It is this last among the other nominal American political pleasantries, which should give you all the picture of just what went on in the Chicago convention’s bending over of William Seward when nominating Abraham Lincoln:
“Lincoln’s men left no detail unattended … They printed hundreds of counterfeit tickets and distributed them to Lincoln supporters with instructions to show up early – in order to displace Seward’s supporters … One thousand Seward men [delegates] marched behind a smartly uniformed brass band. They wound their way noisily through Chicago’s streets, playing the song “Oh, Isn’t He a Darling?” and finally arrived triumphantly in front of the Wigwam [convention center.] To their horror, they found that they could not get in: the Lincoln men, admitted with their counterfeit tickets, had taken their seats”
The preceding clearly wasn’t an impeachable offense, of course, setting historical precedent for Hillary’s dirty tricks in the 2016 election season concerning the Democratic National Committee’s un-elected super-delegates sinking Bernie Sanders, which had been essentially the same behavior. It follows, in a classic misdirection, we can blame all of that Hillary s**t on Russia according to our lying corporate media and current Congress who no doubt would claim (in today’s political climate) Russia had corrupted Andrew Johnson over a ‘deal’ for Alaska (Johnson’s 1868 impeachable offense actually was his unforgivable Tennessee drawl.)
So, going to the illustration at the top, it would appear Trump’s authentic ‘impeachable offense’ is an incomprehensible and false (Steele Dossier), but nevertheless alleged treasonous ‘man love’ for Russia and Russians whipped up in corporate media, never-mind the actual charges are Trump daring point out the very real Biden corruption, because Trump has already been tried and convicted in the public forum for his ‘man love.’
And especially, never-mind Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, point man on the Ukraine-Biden-Bursima quid pro quo, had his New York City disaster headquarters located in World Trade Center Building 7, an imploded structure determined by independent university study NOT to have been brought down according to the official version of events:
“The principal conclusion of our study is that fire did not cause the collapse of WTC 7 on 9/11, contrary to the conclusions of NIST and private engineering firms that studied the collapse. The secondary conclusion of our study is that the collapse of WTC 7 was a global failure involving the near-simultaneous failure of every column in the building”
19 Arabs with box cutters didn’t (actually couldn’t) do that. Read at the university website and draw the correct conclusions for yourself:
alternative link:
Yo! Schiff! Nadler! Pelosi! What’s up with that s**t?! No impeachable ‘follow the money’ trail associated with the 9/11 “high crimes” coverup? Erstwhile NYC Mayor Giuliani is Trump’s personal attorney in play here.
Oh, and that can have nothing to do with Trump’s previous personal attorney (off record) job description:
“Cohn’s job was to run the little boys. Say you had an admiral, a general, a congressman, who did not want to go along with the program. Cohn’s job was to set them up, then they would go along”
No impeachable scent to follow there. Never mind Trump personal attorney Roy Cohn’s ‘black book’ was essentially the forerunner to Jeffrey Epstein’s ‘black book’, sharing many names, suddenly recalling (again!) ‘Blow-job Bill’ (just won’t go away) and his many trips on Epstein’s jet. No Democratic impeachment effort should dare go there!
Well, this could go on but I’ve been preoccupied recently with chronicling my Native American experience and this is what I’ll be returning to shortly (the Indian stuff) but meanwhile I can’t help amalgamating a couple of Cree x an Ojibwe word (there IS a precedent at Rocky Boy’s Chippewa-Cree Indian reservation) … winkches-winctagay-chicag* or roughly translated, nearly pidgin slang: ‘this ass-grease looks and smells bad’ which more or less covers the boys on either side of the controversy. But I just can’t come up with adequately disgusting native language words in translation that describes Capitol Hill’s ‘Necromancy Nancy’ Pelosi’s many years’ dead corpse, dressed & made up in anime style, not to mention ‘law & order’ Camela Harris! Why can’t she bring this s**t up?
Camela’s pretty eyes
* My apologies to any Cree language fluent reader here; for the non standard phonetic spelling (native humor excuses the content ; )
My, how quickly camels disappear into oblivion, it was something like two days after this satire posted, Camela Harris quit the race –
Ronald Thomas West 