Archives for posts with tag: xenophobia

‘Liberals’ or ‘The Apes Will Rise’

Liberals are hard to lampoon. It’s like trying to create interesting satire around a personality made of fungal ooze… for instance Hillary who has no personality, only a sort of freaked out laugh with head back and mouth wide open .. and Bill wouldn’t go there because Hillary was incapable of, or uninterested in, giving a quality blow-job. So, Bill didn’t keep his ‘willy’ at home and the whole thing turned into a ‘high crimes and misdemeanors’ Polish joke. Ok, so that’s a start, but this one isn’t a satire about Hillary, Monica, Bill and Congress making fellatio into a world headline event. Rather it’s about a larger liberal problem of a social IQ scoring in the 20-34 range on a scale determining functionality:

“Basic intellectual tasks, including language, are difficult to learn. Can learn some self-care behavior but remain dependent on others. There are usually motor problems and physical anomalies. Usually not employable”

^ Note the above ‘severely retarded’ criteria does not preclude employment as a politician in DC.

Now, if there were to be developed a flexible social IQ scale tied to Congress approval rating, I propose the party controlling the House of Representatives determines the functional social IQ, as of this composition, rating the Republicans with a solid score of 16. It follows, the Republicans are soundly established as “profoundly retarded”

“Usually multi-handicapped with obvious physical deformities and short life expectancy. Heavily dependent on others. Can learn no or only the very simplest tasks”

With physical deformities measured in layered on telegenic make-up for sound-byte tv news, and life expectancy manifest in a political ‘sell by’ date determined by the vagaries of lobbyists (the ‘heavily dependent on others’ criteria), we turn our sights on delving into the higher IQ of America’s liberal leadership, but first a bit of explaining is in order:

Of the many cynical laughs I’ve experienced in relation to liberals making exceptionally dumbfounding decisions, there are a few that stand out in memory. One such event was, liberals behind a voter registration drive in Indian country, for the 2012 elections. Now, my honest belly laugh in relation to this particular event was, Native Americans have historically, typically voted conservative. Some might wonder why? Simple answer is; liberals have a long history of creating solutions for social problems in a cultural context they have little understanding of, compounding those problems more often than not. Conservatives, on the other hand, have a history of neglect in relation to Native Americans, and consequently it is the liberals are perceived as the worse offenders or ‘meddlers’ in Indian affairs. Conservatives, therefor, are less likely to imagine up solutions for problems they don’t understand whereas liberals are inclined to shove solutions that don’t work down peoples’ throats because ‘they know better.’ At the end of the day, the lower conservative social IQ in the legislative body, unable or disinclined to imagine up all sorts of ‘good’ things for other peoples lives, works out to the better solution for certain disadvantaged populations.

Now, it stands to reason the higher IQ in liberals will translate to a certain ability to grasp they’re obviously the more important people with superior ideas. So, let’s have a go at how it is liberal methodology translates into sensible decision making for the rest of us.

As a baseline comparison, we’ll consider how it is conservative monitor lizards look back on the ‘good old days’ of dinosaur climate with its 400 parts per million CO2. This translates into attitude of ‘hands off’ the fossil fuels industry. Hey! If it’s not broke, don’t fix it! (never-mind it was ‘liberal’ democracies run amok had initiated the industrial revolution, a phenomena conservative monitor lizards have forever failed to grasp)

Liberals, on the other hand, are ‘reasoning’ higher primates with a cerebral cortex:

Chimpanzee Brain, Drawing

^ evolution’s ‘monkey business’

Any liberal chimp provided with a loaded AK-47, can plainly see they are, or should be, competent to deal with anything, not dissimilar to our present liberal administration’s policies training commandos in Africa:

 

^ the Apes will rise

And because the liberal value of tolerance is held to be superior to xenophobic behaviors, it makes sense for the Kurds to be split into four minority divisions with no territory to call their own. In this current version of events, the Turks, Syrians, Iraqis and Iranians will all be forced to learn the superior liberal value of tolerance with the enforced subjection of the Kurdish nation’s aspiration to cultural integrity. This can surely be accomplished with extending the Kurds ‘minority rights.’ But hey! When American allied conservative dinosaurs are the ‘turks’ in power and xenophobia is on the rise, ‘minority rights’ for Kurds is a minority’s reality of no rights at all. But this is a minor inconvenience or bump on the road to what surely must be liberal enlightenment, right? Oh yeah, it’ll all sort itself out, because arbitrary, artificial borders are sacro-sanct, insuring the Turks and Kurds will be locked in a perpetual, murderous struggle on the road to liberalism’s enlightened vision of multi-cultural tolerance.

So, to now, how’s that frontal lobe ‘reasoning’ power of the cerebral cortex working out? Let’s look a bit closer to home:

America’s conservative monitor lizards are in a dinosaur’s basal-ganglia rage over the liberals’ cerebral cortex value of multiculturalism having neglected to explain to millions of immigrants the full implication of what it means to live in a ‘secular democracy.’

reptilian-brain

^ function of the basal ganglia

Now, if it had been the business of Freedom House and the National Democratic Institute to promote an understanding that; when you relocate to America your kids are going to be free to be depraved as they please, marry outside their culture and religion, and basically live apostate lives, no matter what you think of this ‘freedom’, and whether you like it or not, well, that’d been a ‘good’ thing. But these CIA fronts were too busy promoting ‘color revolutions’ to do anything sensible like provide simple explanations that’d have stopped a different species of conservative immigrants in their tracks. And so instead, America’s basal ganglia types sense their xenophobic monitor lizard habitat is threatened by another species of reptile and they’re lashing out at anything that moves, whether suitable prey or not. Well, after all, you know what science says about an exotic species invasion of another species habitat, it’s just not conducive to good ecological outcomes.

There Be Dragons

^ Rush Limbaugh feels ‘threatened’

This brings into question the soundness of a multiculturalism doctrine and how it is liberals expected inter-species mixing was a good idea because everyone should have innate intelligence enough to be ‘tolerant.’ We can contrast this to the conservative monitor lizards pining for the ‘good old days’ and arrive a determination of empirical science showing whether the reactionary behaviors of dinosaurs should be defended with provision of nature reserves to protect the ‘threatened’ species.

Sadly for the liberal theory of multiculturalism and the associated idea introduction of exotic species would in theory see innate ‘tolerance’ manifest; when contrasting the present environment of social tensions to former model, a social-scientific scrutiny clearly demonstrates the instincts of the basal ganglia types had been ‘in the good old days’ quite hospitable. You understood the species in your habitat, there was law and order and a more or less general stability. This result demands nature reserves for the xenophobic are not only practical but actually necessary to conform societies to a reasonable standard of behavior…

…but then, evolution had demanded a liberal’s cerebral cortex manifest with its experiment of ‘reason’

The Satires

f4

LB1

Werner Pops a Hemorrhoid

EXBERLINER (4) is limited to correcting Konrad Werner’s stilted English and decidedly amateur political ideation. The reasoning behind this is, I am not presently in Berlin (or Germany) and had neglected to arrange having the paper copy (EXBERLINER January issue) sent on to my purported new location (Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia.) Consequently, I cannot blog the entire issue but fortunately, for Konrad Werner’s edification, I can blog him, because his most recent is printed in its entirety at the EXBERLINER website. This negligent circumstance spares the otherwise often competent (and truly sweet) people at EXBERLINER the tongue-in-cheek wrath of this lampoonist’s pen. Sighs.

So, Konrad Werner opens his latest with a ‘salvo’ (fyi, this is a metaphor referring to firing of cannons, Mr Werner)

Now would be the time, Merkel. This would be the moment. There are municipal elections coming up in March in Bavaria. You can finally call the CSU’s bluff and field CDU candidates in Bavaria. This is your chance to rid yourself of these turbulent priests

The problem with Werner’s salvo is, 1) Merkel dumping the CSU is the farthest possible stretch of reality. It’s like saying Werner could write intelligently on German politics with his head out of his ass. The thing with this is, if Werner had his head out of his ass, he would realize he cannot write intelligently at all, and I would have to find someone else to lampoon.

The second problem with Werner’s salvo is, 2) Werner lacks this thing called ‘teutonic vision.’ Or perhaps Werner is unfamiliar with Bavarian culture, where in the southern German slang, a peculiarly shaped noodle is referred to as a ‘little boy’s penis.’ In this case Werner should have stated to Merkel this would be her chance to rid herself of ‘pedophile priests.’ But what of the habits of the CSU parishioners? You can’t wish this away Werner, just go to any palace in the Berlin vicinity and look at the statuary of little boys worshipped by generations of warmongering Kaisers. Or ask recently unemployed Guido Westerwelle what it is like to be a gay exporter of deadly armaments. Talk philosophy with him. Maybe too many little (never grew up) Bavarian boys to count are still upset over having been imprinted for life by this metaphor for ‘noodles’ …. think that anger might translate at the ballot box? Oh yes, but probably not in any nice way…. you see Werner, inter-generational violence is a cultural phenomena and de-nazification never really gained much traction in the south of Germany, speaking of a certain German brand of ‘pedophile priests.’  For your edification Werner, the NAZI problem wasn’t with gays, it was mainly with ‘out of the closet’ gays, if only because this threatened the denial of a certain ‘noodles’ metaphor along the lines of Pinocchio.

Nazi Eagle

 ^ NAZI Reich Eagle at Lindau, Bodensee (2008)

Homework assignment for the political writers at EXBERLINER: Read ‘The Arms of Krupp’ with special attention given to the passage (this is for you, Werner) relating the story of how a German field marshall dropped dead (mid-pirouette) wearing only a ballerina tutu at a party attended by Germany’s military-industrial elite (other than ‘out of the closet’ some things never change, eh, Guido Westerwelle?) I hate to inform you Werner, Merkel’s CDU is a ‘kinder, gentler’ (remember George Bush saying this?) version of the CSU and there is going to be no separating the ‘sisters.’

Then, Werner goes on to ‘elucidate’  in impossibly stilted English (gag)

The Christian Social Union, often called the “Bavarian sister party to Merkel’s Christian Democratic Union” by baffled Anglo journalists who can’t understand why they exist, has again presented a policy that isn’t just entirely independent of its supposed sibling, but is obviously just a blindingly obvious attempt to outflank anti-European parties in advance of the local council elections in Bavaria. And once again, a Bavarian party that never stops going on about how much it loves being a Bavarian party and how great Bavaria is (“Bavaria first” a slogan on its website proclaims, or “a strong Bavaria in Berlin”) is allowed to determine the national political debate for a whole bloody week

Other than redundancy (“obviously just a blindingly obvious”), what Werner misses in the preceding is, the electorate makes up the the party, the party does not make up the electorate. In fact some ‘Anglo’ (this is a word referring to White Americans, pointing this out in case Werner thought it meant British) journalists perfectly understand the CSU is Germany’s mainstream anti-european party (relating to a certain metaphor of ‘noodles’ pointing to statues of little naked boys and a certain ‘past century’ or historical ‘export’ of the German armaments industry.)

Drawing a distinction between the CDU & CSU is little different to claiming a ‘kinder, gentler’ conservative German politic ‘a la George Bush.’ The CDU merely keeps German miltarism’s historic affinity for youngster’s ‘noodles’ a bit deeper in the closet, and are happy for the CSU to take on the dirty work, is all the difference. So, Werner, rather than draw a distinction that does not in actuality exist, as your much loved ‘pro-Europe’ Chancellor buries the Greek people with draconian fiscal policies, why not research Angela Merkel’s history championing ‘democracy’ & ‘human rights’ and juxtapose this to the facts of a NATO ‘deep state’ caper in Ukraine (western intelligence agencies inciting ‘color revolution’), as well the disaster that became Syria? (actually, do NOT do this Werner, because I’d feel responsible to untangle the mess you’d made of it.) And Werner goes on:

This week it banged a worn-out drum, warning that eastern Europeans would take advantage of EU expansion to flood into Germany and start working here and/or claiming Hartz IV. This time it was Romanians and Bulgarians – a couple of years ago it was Poles and Slovakians, in a few years’ time it’ll be Croatians. The CSU’s brand new policy paper was leaked to the press this week, and caused much debate with its not-properly-rhyming slogan “Wer betrügt, der fliegt.” “Anyone who cheats gets kicked out.” In other words, the CSU wants to make sure that any foreigner who falsely claims benefits gets sent home. This IS ALREADY THE LAW. That’s right, the CSU has managed to cause a big fucking media debate by calling for something that ALREADY EXISTS. WHY? Who knows? Why has my spaniel got bollocks? Why am I writing about it? I could be getting stoned and eating weird German Kaktus Eis and watching a 3D movie on IMAX. IMAX!! In 3D!! Imagine. It’s so big and so deep. 

Werner could be “getting stoned.” I think we’d all be better of if this were the case (as in Werner getting too stoned to write or perhaps “stoned” is Werner’s real problem) considering his stilted “not-properly-rhyming-slogan” (‘improperly’ would be the better English, Werner, or you might have given the higher ‘ill-rhymed’ a go.)

But no, because these fucking regional cunts are so worried about losing votes to the Alternative für Deutschland in March and they just couldn’t think of anything with a lower denominator than a slightly-racist fear mongering slogan about all the Romanians, I now have to sit here and join all the other commentators to point this out:

So, Werner pops a hemorrhoid with his pretense and mocked up outrage (profanity), while using the ‘c’ word, which is a favorite of gynophobes worldwide, the British particularly (Werner, profanity only works in highly creative format and you don’t appear to have a creative bone in your body, so stop emphasizing your lack of intelligence, is my advice) and then his “sightly racist” is absolutely myopic view of the endemic German racism. Oh, and you don’t “have” to demonstrate anything Werner, although it be nice if you’d demonstrate you’d pulled your head out of your ass and quit writing… because yes, many have said these things already and so very much more intelligently than yourself Mr Werner (go to Der Spiegel English for these political stories dear readers)

Right. There. Everyone else has said it and I’ve said it too. Can I go to the IMAX now?

Yes, Werner, you can go get (more) stoned now-

frogs

^ metaphor for Konrad Werner’s journalism (it’s the frog)

EXBERLINER (1)

EXBERLINER (2)

EXBERLINER (3)

EXBERLINER (4)

Post Modern Teutonic Vision (a.k.a. Werner blogged me!)

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