Archives for posts with tag: Tony Blair

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Pineapple Face Dead Manuel Noreiga’s obituary

Lenny Bruce & George Carlin on Jews for Jesus concerning idiocy

When a Rooster Thumbs Its Nose info-satire by Ronald

Narciss-O-Meter Whose fake news?

If ‘The Donald’ Were a Real… (man?)

March of the Tickle Dicks pictorial

Moot Court The Donald vs Ted Cruz

The Economics of Moonshine Whiskey Monetary fracking

Throwing Stones From Glass Houses Social-political commentary

Whereas the Enemy of Your Friend is Your Favorite F**K

Urolagnetics On Scientology

Junípero Serra On house breaking dogs (Catholic style)

MERGE On Chomsky’s theory

People Who Behave As Stupid As They Look Uh-huh

Who Punked the Cardinal? On Vatican Fashion

Opus Dei creavit monitor lacertae Charlie Hebdo & satire

Alfreda Bikowski & the Definition of Stupid Only at the CIA

Obama’s Speech at Queensland Parody

Liberals On multiculturalism

Obama’s Speech to Skull & Bones A parody of his UN address

Teleprompter Forget it, you don’t want to go there

Thuck Norris Rated ‘S’ for SICK (parental advisory)

Democracy Now! State secrets & the war in Liberacestan

Michele Bachmann & Wild Indians Kerouac in drag

Dick Cheney’s Rottweiler Dog butt-sniffing rituals

Maison de l’Histoire de France Fellatio, Sarkozy & French history

The Great Phuc Uuus Massacre Propaganda trained CIA lizards

Bozo’s Handcock U Speech George Bush & Tony Blair in love

My Life as a Joke Personal Ad (women only please)

The Pachuco Stare Decisis SCOTUS = SCROTUM

The Moron Bernard-Henry Lévy He truly is a moron

How Jesus Gets Kicked Out Of Heaven Naughty George Carlin

NOT My Last Tango in Paris The NSA & cyanide suppositories

Demons Anonymous Addiction to destructive fantasies

Saint Chester Prince of the Church & patron saint of boys

A Conversation With Jon Stewart Barack Obama is a White man!

Scooby Doo is Lyndon LaDouche ‘Rut a retard’

Saki & Barf: killer women of the State Department Just rude

Salinas vs Texas U.S. Supreme Court self inflicted lawyer joke

Life’s Little Surprises A devil teaches law

Happy the Indian Guide On stereotypes

Napi in the New Age A ‘red apple’ Indian story

Mother’s Day and Male Dopes Moms & cannabis

Breakfast at a Pizzaria The German ‘I hate my life’ philosophy

Our Gang rascals too big for their breeches

World Cup Scribbles Rabies & dog muzzles

English Football International competition

Sardonism Adults Playing Cowboys and Indians

The Gospel According to Ronald On the historical Jesus

The Islamic State for Dummies The K.I.S.S. principle

NATO’s Three Chihuahuas Small dog syndrome

Essay On Native American Humor ‘Napi Eats His Butt’ (Best satire)

Perverts of Western Philosophy Locke to de Sade (and more)

A Cheesey Detective Story (Series)

Episode 1

Episode 2

Guest Appearances:

Raghead Political satire by Bill Purkayastha

Admiral John Kirby Comedy straight out of the Pentagon

About Clowns DJ Rankin

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Bozo’s Handcock U Speech

(A theory of proto-Anglo-Saxon-chauvinism)

Bozo L’Dodo, past Valedictorian, was to deliver the introductory address for this year’s Handcock U commencement and his theme ‘The Inspired Republican Illuminati: Our Anglo-Saxon Heritage’ would secure his standing as the greatest of Handcock U satirists and past Valedictorians

Bozo had chosen this topic to deflect criticism of his not having fulfilled the Handcock U forecast of becoming 43rd President of the United States, because everyone believed the nation would be better off if he had realized this ambition for the school

Bozo was drunk, both in the composition and delivery of his masterwork address, as were the majority students who had been advised this would be the only state in which Bozo’s short oratory could be fully appreciated. Handcock U’s president attended absolutely stoned on his wife’s Prozac, dreading the coming moment

Bozo, teetering only slightly, after-all, he had been dead drunk for the near entirety of his life and was quite enabled of his condition, began:

My beloved brethren (Bozo neglected to remember women were present, the cause of his alimony payments which he had never understood)

Follows here a fanciful exam of the source of our American behaviors and American Republican closet morality- in a historical context of our British cousins and our own America’s Royal ‘Curious George’ Bush. (The school’s president groaned)

Nearly every educated American of our generation had been psychologically nursed as a child on the wisdom of stories about Curious George, a playful, innocent monkey, but lacking the necessary brains to innately recognize or extract himself from dangerous situations. (the school’s liberals had become interested already, going against experience and every instinct)

Fortunately, or so it seemed at the time of our childhood, George was in the nominal charge of the ‘Man in the Yellow Hat’, a benevolent and wise person with great understanding of George’s nature… and yet for all of the Man in the Yellow Hat’s mis-approbation of George’s innate delinquent nature, it cannot be denied that these stories inculcated our thinking with one great flaw. Repeatedly, the Man in the Yellow Hat left George unattended- leading to multiple circumstance enraging the innocent surroundings of our very small world’s neighborhoods. In fact, George is a vandal and the Man in the Yellow Hat is his enabler. Today, we will have a look at the larger historical background of our own George and his Man in the Yellow Hat: Tony Blair

Here in the USA we speak Yank. My own traceable English ancestry migrated from London to Virginia about 1640 and in the meantime that has mixed, I am sure, with people declining Robespierre’s invitation to a party, as well the emptied jails and insane asylums of England, religious fanatics from the continent, Indians, Blacks, Mongols, and I am obviously ‘mongrel.’ But it wasn’t only noble political refugees, criminals, lunatics and fanatics that were culled from the old world, but many Yeomen as well, mixing with the other populations, creating the curious mix of our state today. I suspect that my friends ‘down under’ have a somewhat similar social biography in the world of our Aussie cousins. (the Dean of Humanities began to feel sick at his stomach)

Now what I suspect what we expatriates sometimes experience, though no fault of our own, is a deleterious genetic effect that Europe in general, and England in particular, had sought to eliminate from their ‘families.’ I carry this remarkably deleterious gene myself, and my research on the matter tentatively suggests it cannot be deleted because of perpetual hybridization in our American family, and there has been no pogrom for this gene’s elimination. For research purposes I am naming the effect of this deleterious gene “Proto Anglo-Saxon Chauvinism.” (the school’s Chancellor began to feel faint)

Now again, we all had thought this PASC gene to be largely recessive in our American population, but I think we must consider it may manifest in heretofore un-noticed behavioral traits such as my own present subconscious urge, example given, a suddenly un-suppressed desire to make a comment such as this short Address. I invite the listener to consider my words taken for a particular hand gesture of continental origin. (Bozo held up his hand with a middle finger, men chuckle and women gasp in the audience)

This gesture had been, once upon a time in Anglo-American relations, flung across the Atlantic, in both directions, and had been historically taken for ‘rudery’

Now in our American population, we had thought the PASC gene (and source of this behavior) to be largely benign, excepting in the Republican party where it is concentrated to an unhealthy degree in this political pseudo nobility, the American Tories. Here, it is noticed in the American PASC Republicans who are ashamed of their ‘doodles’, normally which they only ‘yank’ in the dark, and claim they never ‘yank’ out of context. (Senator Larry Craig turns beet red and the Handcock U president puts his face in his hands)

This bears a bit of explanation. Versed a bit in the American experience relating to our Anglo Saxon heritage and the ‘divorce’, there are historical examples of general insults, inevitably intended, with some exceptions, this shouldn’t ever result in fisticuffs, but sometimes has between friends and brothers, with a bit of liberty and license. (the British interest in the audience perked up)

In so far as these  insults go, there was one delivered a couple of centuries and a score years ago in the vicinity of Yorktown, Virginia, a small ditty of British origin, composed by a campfire in the army of His Majesty, adopted by my countrymen, and that is ‘Yankee Doodle.’ I do believe that a close scrutiny of the song by the science of etymology must reveal ‘yank e’ doodle’, the precise original term, is 18th century cockney or equivalent dialect, refering to the manipulation of a peculiar bodily part- hence the terms ‘yank’ and ‘yankee.’ (Stunned silence in the largely American attendees, the few British sniggered)

Probably the context of the Americans adopting the sobriquet was made in the heat of fraternal dispute, proposed example given, ‘and if we can whip you who named us that, what does that say about you?’ (A single drunken whoop from a Texas Cowboy alumnus, the British chuckles were over)

But we all went on to patch things up, and out of purely good and manly sportsmanship, us ‘Yanks’ kept the name and became endeared of it, despite the dangers of embarrassment to our progeny. (The British are suddenly interested again)

There does seem to be a bit of national amnesia concerning the origin of the term, but who hasn’t heard of the New York Yankees? In our modern idiom they would be called the Manhattan Masturbators (rousing cheers from this west coast school’s Oakland Athletics fan base, the British laughing out loud)

At any rate, all of us hybridized American folk have had to learn to get along despite the presence of ‘proto Anglo-Saxon chauvinism’, and so it is just sort of lurking there, a characteristic of our ‘family.’ It must be my own mark of the gene that fails to see any serious impropriety in these remarks, but in fact I am disturbed by Tory and Republican  behaviors, these progenitors of  ‘Yankee’ behavior. (Bozo’s alumni classmates, on this cue, raise a ‘Students for a Democratic Society’ banner, the British delegation is split)

Now, I am not privy to any modern research concerning the deleterious PASC gene in the old world and whether the efforts to eliminate it were entirely successful, and I am not familiar with the norms of  behavior there, but I would caution my Royal Old World cousins not to breed too closely, if this is what was intimated when Mr Mitterand noted Maggie Thatcher had “the eyes of Caligula.” (San Francisco’s British consular delegation walks out)

Before I am subject to medieval justice and suffer the fate of Guy Fawkes, consider this bit of oratory in the tradition of Punch & Judy and might not intemperate replies from a particular quarter make the case that these beloved characters (whom Americans might well embrace) are expatriates as well. (The British having left, no one understood this line)

Well, here, plainly stated, is an American polled by pundits, strongly suspecting Curious George Bush is an Anglophile (does he truly love Tony Blair?) and I cannot help but infer that the whole world has noticed and is prepared to conclude the Americans cannot help but ‘yank’ another’s ‘doodle’ when they should better keep their hands to themselves. (drunken male crowd roars, outraged women are leaving in droves)

But consider first the primary party responsible for our ‘Yankee’ makeup, and please, only then consider our character. (drunk Log Cabin Republicans have been shouting Hallelujah Brother!!)

And I beg my Anglo cousins, whether Proto Anglo Saxon Chauvinism survives in Merry Old England or not, do bring Curious George Bush home to be Tony Blair’s ‘retirement’ butler, and ‘We the People’ will happily keep our sobriquet ‘Yank’, dubiously renewed in the eyes of your American cousin by our Commander in Chief in concert with your own, whom in tandum have, whilst whistling our glorious tune, Yanked their Doodles out of context worldwide! (Wild cheering, standing ovation)

And thanks for NOTHING England!!” (Bozo ends in Richard Nixon’s famous pose while shouting the Handcock U ‘Fighting Chicken’ sport slogan ‘Cock a Doodle Do!!’ pelvic thrusting with raised middle fingers rather than victory signs)

Commencement did not proceed beyond Bozo’s speech because the ‘Fighting Chicken’ male student body rioted, erupted from the hall and took the occasion to tear down the school goal posts. Women who hadn’t the sense to leave earlier were raped. Handcock U’s president resigned and the school Chancellor committed suicide. Diplomas were put in the mail. Bozo’s fame grew…

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