Archives for posts with tag: dick cheney

Prior to Alternet deleting my soapbox [blog] some years back, I used post a special edition of this ‘story’ up as a Christmas tradition.

Imagine Bing Crosby crooning “I’m dreaming of a White Christmas…” ’24’ is on TV with the sound off. Don reaches over and places his hand softly on Dick’s knee, chuckles, and says “Did you hear Ben Bonk’s sob story?

Cheney puts his hand over Don’s and gives an affectionate squeeze. “I laughed to tears…” The next day they went quail hunting.

Free speech clown series

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Don Rumsfeld & Dick Cheney’s Dog

You all have heard of the first grade primer ‘Dick and Jane’? Well, as fate would have it, Dick did not grow up to love Jane, because Dick (like Don) matured into a homosexual in denial, or “RRR” (sounds like a Rottweiler growl), one of those closet morality, socially/sexually frustrated and consequently mean people known as a Religious Right Republican.

So, this has to be a adult repressed homosexual ‘dick’, or machismo porn variation, of the ‘Dick and Jane’ story. Consequently, the story of how Don Rumsfeld met his demise, because of Dick Cheney’s dog, is pretty screwed up.

It’s called: Don and ‘dick’

Rumsfeld was visiting ‘big dick’ Cheney at Cheney’s ‘spread’ in Wyoming, Cheney was wishing he could have shot George Bush in the face with his shotgun because the coward George flinched and did not pull the trigger on Iran…

While reminiscing missed opportunities at initiating Armageddon, wishing they could have shot more people in the face, especially more Arabs, and about their longing for certain fascists to be in their lives, past and present, secular and religious.. among other things, Rummy suddenly asked ‘big dick’ why his Rottweiler, “Machismo”, was always locked in his kennel.

Mean people have mean dogs and, Dick explained to Don that “Machismo” had an edge about him, Machismo simply could not be trusted around visitors. Dick went on to explain how he wished it were otherwise and how he wished Machismo could be trusted to obey him and only tear apart people that he did not like, he’d tried dog trainers but they cost him money, too much money, because Machismo took a chuck of flesh out of all of them, every dog trainer he had tried. His insurance premiums had gone sky high, all on account of Machismo.

Rumsfeld: “Why don’t you get a different dog?”

Cheney: “Because I love my Machismo.”

Then Don had an idea.

Rumsfeld: “Hey Dick, there is the Arapaho Indian Reservation right up the road, why don’t you get a Medicine Man to take the edge off your Machismo? I saw on the Discovery Channel the Indians can talk to animals, you know they are all devil worshippers, so maybe there is something to it.”

Dick’s eyes brightened considerably, an amazing thing, as though a light had turned on upstairs, but then his brow furrowed back to normal, as though nobody were home.

Cheney: “That’s the problem. They are all devil worshipers, you know, Indians are sorcerers like the Old Testament forbids be ‘found among us.’”

So Don and Dick discussed that and came up with a solution. If they were not at Dick’s ‘spread’ while the medicine man worked with Dick’s Machismo, the sorcerer would not be found ‘among them’ and it would all be ok in the end, because St Paul had said “All things work together for good” for Christians like Don and Dick. So they sent a Secret Service agent to find a medicine man with an explanation of how Dick would like the edge taken off of his Machismo, and then went quail hunting, so the Indian sorcerer would not be ‘found among them.’

The secret service agent found a medicine man, a Blackfoot married to an Arapaho and living in Wyoming, a typical dumb Indian, who with a look of stunned disbelief, kept asking the agent again and again “What!?” After the agent had identified himself four times and explained Dick Cheney wanted the edge taken off his Machismo eight times, a light filled this Blackfoot Indian’s eyes, this agent was serious, and the devil was right at home.

Indians know when the gods deliver the opportunity of  a lifetime, and this was opportunity at redemption. It had been awhile since the medicine men had been noticed, that is, the now days scarce authentic ones, and the agent had stumbled onto the real McCoy. First and foremost, this Indian believed in the Native law of reciprocity and well knew how it worked, something the Whitemen had not sorted out since Jesus had told them about it two millennia ago: “As you sow, so shall you reap.”

In this Indian’s world view, the opportunity was all about deliverance, and the attending attrition from any consequence, a sort of natural quantum mechanics shamanic death manifest by friendly fire, simply would have to be tolerated, because the medicine men are all about manifesting truth, and this native cultural idea taken together with the dogs name, set out the path to healing Dick’s Machismo: The dog would have to be taught how to enjoy narcissistic sex, instead of biting people.

Initially, the medicine man realized he would have to endure Machismo’s instinct to hump his leg, that was disturbing, but to reach the goal beyond… The Indian told the agent, well, ok, he would do it for ‘dick.’ The agent missed the straight faced Indian humor… and utterly failed his agency’s chartered mandate.

Indians are observational people, primarily, and know the purpose of dog butt sniffing rituals, sort of like when a Blackfoot and Cree spot each other from across a boulevard in downtown Calgary, the hair goes up on both backs and both Indians are thinking to the other “You can sniff my butt” in a historical context, and it is not a friendly thought. The actual butt sniffing between them is purely psychic, preceding any challenge and fight, and the medicine man doctoring Dick’s Machismo would need to circumvent this phenomena to achieve his aims. So sorcery came into play. He collected urine from a bitch in heat, rubbed a little of it on his knee, and bringing more along in a vial, he traveled to heal Dick’s Machismo.

The dog was very happy to see him, no hostility or butt sniffing ritual encountered at all, the Indian told the agent he had to work with the dog alone, brought out a plastic baby rattle wrapped in leather with a few strings with beads, to look convincing, and Dick’s fundamentalist christian body guard was more than happy to leave. Then this Indian began to work with Dick’s Machismo… “Now Machismo, my leg is a good beginning, but we have to show you something, you don’t need my leg or me at all, you can do this all for yourself- just follow her scent to where it feels so right….”

In Blackfoot language we have a word, I don’t know how to spell it in the Whiteman’s language, but it sounds something like oww-woe-tops and it means you are crazy and “everyone knows the Whiteman is crazy” is a Blackfoot proverb proven again and again, example given, Dick Cheney hiring an Indian that hates him, as every Indian should, to tame his Machismo. There is another Blackfoot word I dare not try to pronounce here, but it means “Dog Face.” It is about as bad as Blackfeet language profanity gets, and it is not as tame as it might seem, initially. The term refers to a certain facial expression…

Don and Dick were headed back to Dicks ‘spread’, the agent had called and told them the medicine man had pronounced Dick’s Machismo healed and was leaving, and as fate would have it, the medicine man, and Don and Dick, passed each other on the dirt and gravel country road, the Indian pushing his 1968 Chevy pickup named the “Red Jet” as hard as he could, the worn out 327 V-8 boiling blue smoke into the dust storm he was whipping up behind him, windows down, braids flying, wild eyed panic combined with a maniacal mirth at his crime, co-mingled with prayers to all the gods that he WOULD escape… thinking when he saw Don and Dick “you can sniff my butt” while trying to put on as many miles as he could, as fast as he could, to escape Dick’s ‘spread.’ Don said “God Damn”, Dick in the same moment saying “he must have brought along his whiskey”…

Dick and Don, walking to the kennel, turned a corner bringing Machismo into view in that very moment Machismo was swallowing it, gulping himself down with a certain facial expression… Don had a sudden epiphany, and he exclaimed “Machismo sucks!”, and Dick’s perpetual grimace of hate torqued down to the point it actually broke his primitive semblance of a mind, he pulled his permitted concealed weapon…

The camera pans away to the beautiful red rock cliffs of Wyoming, there was a first shot echoed together with Machismo’s dying yelp, Don shouted “NO!” and the second shot was heard… a pause.. the third shot sounded and America never heard Dick Cheney say “Terror” again.

In the here-after, for all of eternity, Don repeated “Look Dick, look. See Machismo suck!” And for all of eternity Dick shot Machismo and Don, again and again and could not kill them or himself (because they were already dead.)

The Secret Service agent kept his mouth shut about his role in the cause behind the Rumsfeld/Cheney murder/suicide, and no one came after the medicine man who laughed for years, again and again like a child, every time he recalled:

“you can sniff my butt”

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CheneyAztec

HARVEST

It is a pleasure to see former Israeli Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert, will be going to jail for corruption. A rare event outside of coup governments jailing or killing their predecessors as an insurance policy. Insofar as comparisons respecting ‘democracy’ and the ‘rule of law’ in relation to impunity, this recalls Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzalez indicted by a Texas grand jury for racketeering and outcome where Cheney didn’t even bother to send a lawyer (he apparently only needed make a phone call, at most) to get the indictment thrown out… it was dismissed with a warning from the judge to the prosecutor to “never” pursue the case again. By comparison, Israeli justice looks pretty good just now with Olmert reporting to Israel’s penal system for incarceration. Even if he gets the ‘country club’ detention, it still says something.

On account of Bibi & company’s rank criminal behaviors, many people from the outside tend to forget Israelis are not entirely made up of dyed in the wool miscreants and it’s always been a habit of people in the west to throw stones from their glass houses, we see this quite a lot in relation to the Israelis. Would I like to see certain Israeli figures jailed for crimes against the Palestinians? Sure. Will that happen? It doesn’t seem likely, but it seem just as unlikely we will see the likes of Bush and Blair jailed for crimes against the Iraqis resulting in perhaps as many as a million collateral deaths due to infrastructure destruction resulting in loss of clean water and consequent disease, among other problems.

Democracy is a beast in its own right where too often it is sociopaths are those most motivated to rise & rule. And when they do, whether Bibi (with an assist from the Americans) outsourcing his assassinations of Iranian scientists to Mojahedin-e-Khalq utilizing hostages & blackmail, or Obama meeting with John Brennan on “Kill List Tuesdays” when deciding who will live or die in a regime of extrajudicial assassinations, it’s clearly a hard fact one is no superior to the other in relation to the rule of law.

Then, we can look at the institutions of law by comparison. In the USA, SCOTUS Chief Justice John Roberts appoints judges to the extra-constitutional FISA court and no one utters a word about it, not so much as any pointed criticism from any fellow Supreme Court justice, nothing from the bar association head, no senator, NO SINGLE PERSON of significance in the machine stands up and says one word. It can’t hurt to mention here Chief Justice Roberts is only once removed from Dick Cheney; Robert’s champion for his nomination and confirmation to the United States Supreme Court had been Cheney’s Vice Presidential legal counsel Shannen Coffin (a close personal friend of Roberts.)

In Israel, on the other hand, rather than a totally co-opted (corrupted) Supreme Court, you have a court that is undermined and often ignored by corrupt politicians (and in some cases my recollection is, by the military.)

The sharp prejudice we see is hardly fair to Israel by comparison to say, Britain or the USA. All are criminally corrupt. All struggle with similar democratic issues. If the shrill left in the USA can be safely ignored (those few sane persons surviving on the right may as well have drowned for all the opportunity they have to be heard), in Israel sane voices are simply not reported on outside of domestic audience. Hardly balanced or fair, but other than to those engaged in self-deceits, life has never been balanced or fair:

“Both the elves and the reindeer made another accusation against Claus: that he discriminated in favor of children from rich families, who invariably got better and more expensive gifts than those of poor families, no matter how good or bad they’d been” (credit to ‘Bill the Butcher’)

My point is, in matters of corruption and relevant impunity, we’re all more or less equal. Olmert goes to jail, that’s a positive, but Bibi’s history is to ignore and undermine the Israeli Supreme Court. In the USA? No one goes to jail and the Supreme Court appears to be in the pocket of the criminal regime when upholding the ‘national security’ and ‘state secrets’ doctrines which determine the most egregious crimes will never be heard before a competent jurisdiction. And no one challenges the criminally complicit chief justice who appoints judges to a patently unconstitutional FISA institution based on color of law usurping constitutional principles.

On top of it all, it seems doubtful democracy can be salvaged in a scenario where the populaces are becoming so radicalized, demagogues bring the greatest appeal to those who’ve yet to disengage (tune out) on the right, or in the alternative, the majority on the left are so self deceived they hold up a 70 years old serial killer of entire nations as the model choice for a first female president (following on the extrajudicial assassinations by the first ‘Black’ or ‘nobel drone’ president who has always been more culturally European than anything else.)

I would offer the following quote to describe the self-deceits of western populace generally…

“Their judgment was based more upon blind wishing than upon any sound pre-vision; for it is a habit of mankind to entrust to careless hope what they long for, and to use sovereign reason to thrust aside what they do not fancy” -Thucydides

…aside from those Christian supremacist and other knee-jerk anti-Semites who’re actually somewhat a step lower than use of ‘sovereign reason’ in their employ of self-deceits:

“You can’t convince a chimpanzee to give you a banana with the promise it will get 20 more bananas in chimpanzee heaven. It won’t do it. But humans will” -Yuval Noah Harari

Prognosis for 2016

Worst case scenario

Picture this: Saudi Arabia leads an invasion from the south into Iraq, Turkey from the north into Syria, with USA/NATO backing on the pretext of putting down Islamic State. A large contingent of Daesh is evacuated through Turkey. The Erdogan criminal syndicate funnels the larger portion of ISIS fighters east to initiate operations in Russia’s sphere. However a not insignificant number will, nevertheless, find their way west. This will open opportunity for the NATO deep state apparatus to consolidate a police state and pursue eliminating secular, liberal democratic principles with a likely low intensity guerrilla warfare developing throughout Europe. A second 9/11 type false flag, possibly nuclear, is brought off in attempt by rogue religious right generals at the Pentagon to rule with martial law.

Russia doesn’t dare roll over in the meanwhile, and there is real possibility of escalation to tactical nuclear weapons use when protecting Russian assets in Syria together with upholding the Syrian-Iranian buffer states against NATO and their proxies’ empire expanding east and whatever follows that is likely even less pretty, with a paranoid Israel sitting on the sidelines with nuclear armed missiles targeting all parties.

A reasonable estimation would be, with possible/probable outbreak of WW III, there is a solid chance there will be no next ‘President of the United States.’ That system becomes entirely co-opted. It’s only a matter of when, and under what circumstance, NATO’s deep state perpetrators decide to step out of the shadow to rule openly. Meanwhile, in Europe, democratic institutions are being led like lambs to sacrifice with current developments… and there is (to now) no sign of correcting course back into line with the rule of law. We don’t see 1) sight and 2) courage in any of those holding the necessary positions to force a correction away from a fascist future; with dwindling opportunity with each day that passes.

Best case scenario

An asteroid impact ends the experiment called Western Civilization and attending European cultural mentality before Western Civilization ends all advanced life forms on the planet. Ten thousand years into the future, a mummified Richard Dawkins’ corpse is discovered in the cafeteria at the CERN archaeological site. People marvel at the crude purpose of the Large Hadron Collider, a pointless knowledge quest for ego’s sake, and the destructive nature of the grid used to power it. Shortly after, it is discovered the culture which had created CERN originally derived from a cult practicing ritual cannibalism called ‘Communion’ and the priesthood of a subsequent religion named ‘Empiricism’ applied this cannibalistic attitude to their relationship with the environment sustaining them. The mystery villain of the Anthropocene era’s onset had been solved: Plato.

You all have a lovely 2016

Mephisto

Social-political commentary by Mephisto

Featured Satire:

Steve ‘rosie’ O’Bannon a ‘Team Trump’ sexuality question

If you are faint of heart, have a weak stomach, are politically correct or treasure your peace of mind, you’re advised to depart this page NOW

The Satires

On the Planet of the Killer-Homosexual Frogs the machismo meter

Pineapple Face Dead Manuel Noreiga’s obituary

Lenny Bruce & George Carlin on Jews for Jesus concerning idiocy

When a Rooster Thumbs Its Nose info-satire by Ronald

Narciss-O-Meter Whose fake news?

If ‘The Donald’ Were a Real… (man?)

March of the Tickle Dicks pictorial

Moot Court The Donald vs Ted Cruz

The Economics of Moonshine Whiskey Monetary fracking

Throwing Stones From Glass Houses Social-political commentary

Whereas the Enemy of Your Friend is Your Favorite F**K

Urolagnetics On Scientology

Junípero Serra On house breaking dogs (Catholic style)

MERGE On Chomsky’s theory

People Who Behave As Stupid As They Look Uh-huh

Who Punked the Cardinal? On Vatican Fashion

Opus Dei creavit monitor lacertae Charlie Hebdo & satire

Alfreda Bikowski & the Definition of Stupid Only at the CIA

Obama’s Speech at Queensland Parody

Liberals On multiculturalism

Obama’s Speech to Skull & Bones A parody of his UN address

Teleprompter Forget it, you don’t want to go there

Thuck Norris Rated ‘S’ for SICK (parental advisory)

Democracy Now! State secrets & the war in Liberacestan

Michele Bachmann & Wild Indians Kerouac in drag

Dick Cheney’s Rottweiler Dog butt-sniffing rituals

Maison de l’Histoire de France Fellatio, Sarkozy & French history

The Great Phuc Uuus Massacre Propaganda trained CIA lizards

Bozo’s Handcock U Speech George Bush & Tony Blair in love

My Life as a Joke Personal Ad (women only please)

The Pachuco Stare Decisis SCOTUS = SCROTUM

The Moron Bernard-Henry Lévy He truly is a moron

How Jesus Gets Kicked Out Of Heaven Naughty George Carlin

NOT My Last Tango in Paris The NSA & cyanide suppositories

Demons Anonymous Addiction to destructive fantasies

Saint Chester Prince of the Church & patron saint of boys

A Conversation With Jon Stewart Barack Obama is a White man!

Scooby Doo is Lyndon LaDouche ‘Rut a retard’

Saki & Barf: killer women of the State Department Just rude

Salinas vs Texas U.S. Supreme Court self inflicted lawyer joke

Life’s Little Surprises A devil teaches law

Happy the Indian Guide On stereotypes

Napi in the New Age A ‘red apple’ Indian story

Mother’s Day and Male Dopes Moms & cannabis

Breakfast at a Pizzaria The German ‘I hate my life’ philosophy

Our Gang rascals too big for their breeches

World Cup Scribbles Rabies & dog muzzles

English Football International competition

Sardonism Adults Playing Cowboys and Indians

The Gospel According to Ronald On the historical Jesus

The Islamic State for Dummies The K.I.S.S. principle

NATO’s Three Chihuahuas Small dog syndrome

Essay On Native American Humor ‘Napi Eats His Butt’ (Best satire)

Perverts of Western Philosophy Locke to de Sade (and more)

A Cheesey Detective Story (Series)

Episode 1

Episode 2

Guest Appearances:

Raghead Political satire by Bill Purkayastha

Admiral John Kirby Comedy straight out of the Pentagon

About Clowns DJ Rankin

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^ dedicated to politics

Dedicated to the ongoing frustrated fantasies of all the would-be assassins that have missed me in Berlin particularly, and elsewhere generally. You all must enjoy a life that sucks…

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beheaded clown

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SAMSUNG

Scooby Doo is Lyndon LaRouche

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Clown Rack

Michele Bachmann & Wild Indians 

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Democracy Now! 

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The Great Phuc Uuus Massacre

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Saint Chester

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SAMSUNG

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Bozo’s Handcock U Speech

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MikiSpy

Mickey Mossad

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Dead_Clown

The Pachuco Stare Decisis

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Parry_Clown

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CheneyAztec

Dick Cheney’s Rottweiler

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BabyGun

Gary Berntsen

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SAMSUNG

Salinas vs Texas

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frogs

Maison de l’Histoire de France

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Mephisto

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BathBabe

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G&J Bolt Cutters

How Jesus Gets Kicked Out Of Heaven

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dead clown

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SAMSUNG

Our Gang

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Spy

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Ron Drawing

NOT My Last Tango in Paris

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Stooge TV

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Exiled

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Comic_Babe

My Life as a Joke Personal Ad

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All original art by the brave & beautiful Victoria Esther 

Images copyright (c) by Ronald Thomas West

Five Federalist Society Fascists

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Spanky

His mentor getting him to the Supreme Court was Ed Meese, Meese is worshipped as a god within the Federalist Society

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Darla

While running a murder ring in government as vice president, her top lawyer was Shannen Coffin, Coffin is a close friend of Alfalfa

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Alfalfa

A Federalist Society steering committee member, Alfalfa was a professional associate of Spanky, Darla and Sidney under Reagan and George H.W. Bush

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Buckwheat

Advisor to George H.W. Bush, Buckwheat ran his own kidnap, torture & murder ring under George W Bush

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Sidney

An assistant to Federalist Society god Ed Meese, when Meese was implicated in the Iran Contra & WedTech scandals under Reagan

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Scalia

Spanky a.k.a Antonin Scalia

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Cheney

Darla a.k.a. Dick Cheney

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Roberts

Alfalfa a.k. John Roberts

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Rice

Buckwheat a.k.a. Condoleezza

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Alito

Sidney a.k.a. Samuel Alito

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In the American republic that was intended to be, the Federalist Society would be broken up with the use of ‘Criminal RICO’ law and these ‘Family’ individuals prosecuted for [death penalty eligible] treason on account of conspiracy to undermine and overthrow the Constitutional authority of the United States of America. Perhaps Roberts, Scalia and Alito should find the death penalty unconstitutional on the outside chance the rule of law will be restored and it will catch up with them 😉

Related: Color of Law

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The Satires

Dead_Clown

‘Free Speech Clown’ Series

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A background in study of American law and politics would be helpful to fully appreciate this satire. Dedicated to SCOTUS (Supreme Court Of The United States) which would be better called SCROTUM (of the corporate wealthy)

A Pachuco Named Stare Decisis

Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, Chairman of the Federalist Society steering committee, was smarting from the victory for Stare Decisis and Obama in the ‘birther’ case of (sy)Phyllis Schafly v B.O. Now, at the steering committee’s next meeting, Robert’s proposed to eradicate Stare Decisis from the face of the earth. Steering committee member Dick Cheney outlined a plan. The strategy began with inviting Stare Decisis to address the society at the time of Decisis’ being awarded society membership for opening viewpoints strengthening diversity of opinion. 

Stare began his society speech with atypical humility, but this humbleness, of course, could not be sustained. Stare’s Mescal damaged frat brain, grounded in the Handcock U School of Law satire tradition, forcefully shoved down the throats of all affirmative action admissions, determined he would after-all, present in style, little suspecting any possible thing could be wrong… 

August members of the Federalist Society, I propose I’m least among many deserving of this award and, with this thought, I begin the evening’s presentation with a few short citations of those more deserving than myself. Please consider my following nominations for a new category of awards, the “I Knew It Was Wrong But Thought It Was Legal” Boner Awards.

My secular hero, Roger Cohen, a man I’d extolled in glory for his courageous stance as a Jew pointing to our Israel policy as a disaster, has ‘pulled a boner’ [exhibited extreme male cowardice] by jumping on Obama’s ‘don’t prosecute for torture’ bandwagon…

Roger needs a lesson in what the term “Rule of Law” is all about, and the idea constitutions make presidents, not vice versa, meaning our constitution informs Obama how things are going to be, and I will simply add to that, a Writ of Mandamus is a court ordering public officials [could possibly include a president as military commander-in-chief and most certainly any attorney general] to carry out their constitutional duties to enforce the rule of law and it is a huge embarrassment to American democracy when that particular legal weapon must be employed… second only to a consent decree… thought I’d note that before I consigned Roger to the booby hatch of legal ignominy with the distinct sound of a flush… bye-bye Roger… (Roger might crawl his way out of the sewer if he stays away from the ‘I knew it was wrong but thought it was legal’ sewage of Anglo-Saxon law, good lawyer joke, eh?  Law Ignoramus award…

FBI man Ali Soufan’s “Tortured Decision” editorial, in which he puts on his adopted country’s liberal-bleeding-White-heart sheepskin, admits keeping his mouth shut for seven years and only now speaks out because of the water-boarding torture memos release… Soufan reveals there is more as yet unclassified memos… think about it. This is the FBI concealing crime for seven years and STILL CONCEALING EVIDENCE OF CRIME… enough on this bit before I aspirate my puke… a sort of self-simulated drowning… Soufan earns torturer/traitor/coward awards combined…

Renown ‘civil liberties’ lawyer Harvey Silvergate argues against torture prosecutions, claiming they will make bad law, he appears to rationalize/justify “terror and pain” short of “disfigurement and death”, making the case that Bush did not go as far as the Nazis, so it doesn’t seem so bad… now, going to his legal ignorance on top of his criminal ethics… his idea that; because the torturers supposedly did not know what they were doing was illegal on account of the [fuck] ‘Yoo Principle’ legal memos, they cannot be charged under our Anglo-Saxon laws heritage requiring criminal intent… sorry Harvey but you get the law proverb “a man who represents himself [in his editorial] has a fool for an attorney” award…

Because Harvey ‘nincompoop’ Silvergate goes on to mention the case of the Nazi trials where Americans at Nuremburg convicted people for crimes that seemed perfectly legal in a criminal regime, going to the primal International Law principle “no nation may go against it’s own acts”, also known as, ‘what is good for the goose is good for the gander’… more to this point, we convicted Japanese of war crimes for waterboarding, perfectly fitting this International Law rule which now consequently holds our own people accountable despite the Anglo-Saxon ‘I knew it was wrong but thought it was legal’ principle of law which is now history, past, had been, was the case, in fact legally dead in cases like this, because of the precedent we set for ourselves in the prosecution of others… additionally, under ‘the Silvergate nincompoop rationale’, a certain Nazi camp guard following orders in his assigned duties likely could not have been recently deported to Germany to face criminal charge. Silvergate also earns a Nincompoop award…

Nancy Pelosi admits she knew the Bush administration was spying on (wiretapping) Rep Jane Harman and kept the treasonous secret (for the Bush people), from Harman, notice none of these people ever takes responsibility or shows courage? Pelosi: “I was not allowed to tell [Harman]“ .. so, what was to stop Pelosi telling the entire congress from her podium except cowardice? Pelosi awarded torturers trash the 4th amendment AND friendship ‘Judas’ special award…

Obama Treasury Secretary Timothy ‘get out of jail free’ Geithner meets with President of Switzerland Hans Merz in apparent negotiations to excuse the Swiss bank UBS from having to fork over the names of 52,000 wealthy American tax cheats with secret Swiss accounts… anybody up for a game of “Monopoly?” Timothy just drew what should be a “Go to Jail” card… as he is giving out “Get out of Jail free” cards. Can’t be torturing the wealthy tax cheats with prosecutions… Torturer administration’s Equal protection clause Traitor award…

Robert Gates’ fundamentalist Christian led military had been flaunting the legally binding security agreement Bush made with Iraq, conducting multiple illegal raids, killing and kidnapping Iraqi innocents… several operations had been busted by the Iraqi government, the USA admits a ‘mistake’, the abductees had to be set free… the USA’s ‘Campus Crusade for Christ’ had been intensively continued on the Iraqi front, not only escalated in Afghanistan, under Christian Dominion Central Command’s General ‘Tortures for Jesus’ Patreaus… who’d just as soon kill as torture. Federal death penalty eligible treason award…

Harper’s Magazine cover story “Jesus killed Mohammed” is out, detailing Robert ‘tonton macoutes’ Gates’ Christian military’s religion inspired hate crime against Islam, Jews, Blacks, Women, kids, cartoons and the author of this speech, but particularly noting constitutional law professor Obama, who swore on Abraham Lincoln’s Bible to uphold our constitution and enforce our laws, has abdicated taking on the constitutional crimes against separation of church and state in our military in his role as our commander-in-chief… meanwhile Obama is photographed in the International Herald Tribune together with Gates, evoking Tammy Wynette… “Stand by your man… give him two arms to cling to…” prior to allowng Gates to retire un-prosecuted. Loving Christians torture of Muslims for Jesus award…

Former Attorney General Robert Kennedy had written a legal memo recommending lifting the travel ban to Cuba, noting the travel ban was unconstitutional, he was correct, American’s have a right to freely associate and travel, he was over-ruled by our torturing CIA infested Department of State which kept his memo classified as a state secret for 46 years… State Department gets a corporate service tortured law and treason award [unit citation]

New York Times columnist Roger Cohen takes a stride out of the cesspool of Anglo-Saxon law and the ‘I knew it was wrong but thought it was legal’ no criminal intent defense, by continuing to write on other subjects, maybe soon he will have access to a shower and change of clothes… in his editorial ‘Of loos and language’ (in almost excellent ‘dry’ British humor, yuck) Roger points out the most notable difference between Bush and Obama to now is, it would appear Obama can actually speak English… Kudos Roger!! Of course Roger’s title for his editorial could easily be pointed to this speech, no problem, ‘we’ (you know, the British royal use of ‘we’, as in I admit I’m being a royal asshole) welcome ratings, my noting here Roger had pointed out he’d begun his journey out of the Anglo-Saxon ‘loo of law’ with a key title word in a previous editorial: ‘pirouette’…

A Spanish judge has opened the fourth investigation in Spain going to Bush administration torture… two of the investigations had been previously dismissed or shelved, either for lack of evidence or because of political pressures from the USA. The two investigations opened since Obama taking office are now ongoing, the weaker one previous to this most recent had been opposed by Obama and the USA who have pressured Spain, and this new investigation poses the largest threat yet to his administrations ongoing ‘I knew it was wrong but thought it was legal’ [fuck] ‘Yoo principle’ attempts to give the Bush people and his CIA criminals a get out of jail free card… the judge: “an authorized and systematic plan of torture and abuse of people stripped of liberty, without charges and denied the basic rights afforded detainees” and the court will “seek personal responsibility in the different structures of execution, direction and design and authorization for this systematic torture plan” which of course upon the judicial investigations completion I predict must include American leaders I will name in this presentation, not only Bush and cronies but notably Nancy Pelosi… Obama given a treasonous torturing coward’s campaign star for having opposed these efforts…

Russia is retiring 23,000 military officers in a force ‘modernization’ reorganization, a course of action I highly recommend to Commander-in-Chief Obama (Torquemada?) who should have already dumped the 19,000 USA armed forces officers belonging to the Byzantine Pentagon’s ‘Officer’s Christian Fellowship” that actually believe if you are not a fundamentalist Christian, every motivation you have, no matter how noble, is a subversion of humanity “spearheaded by Satan”- torturers holy inquisition resurrection award…

The cognitive dissonance of a case dismissed at our Justice Department’s prosecutors request… some lobbyists for Israel that probably really deserve to go to jail for treason (espionage) can’t be prosecuted because the judge refused to go along with some of the prosecutions demands for state secrecy in evidence… now our crooks can get off the hook by demanding typical evidence discovery rights of defendants, something judges rightly should not deny, with defendant likely knowing there are so many worms in this particular case’s can of ‘justice’, the Justice Department dare not produce the can… our tortures the law Justice Department gets a treasonous ‘can of worms’ award…

Retired British spook gets it, MI6 man Alastair Crooke (are all financiers are in some sense crooks?, Crooke was a banker who left the industry because he did not like the greed before he was a spy), founded “Conflicts Forum” which seeks to establish the validity of opposing points of view for adversaries so they can honestly negotiate instead of “talking past each other.” Brilliant!! Now, to the disturbing thought his ‘Conflicts Forum’ raised when I read the article and discovered it includes “former spies, diplomats and peace activists…” is the reporter/writer a moron or did he actually mean “former peace activists”… (context, dude, should have been ‘peace activists, diplomats and former spies, although ‘diplomat’ and spy’ are synonyms…  journalism’s moron award, but bringing to mind:

One of our human rights organizations has been staffed by CIA in executive position, information I could be arrested and jailed for if I were to go so far as revealing ‘state secret’ identities… who are your CIA? Think about it. These are highly educated people who do 20 years or 30 years and retire to a sailboat or second job or both, depending on the USA retirement plan. Meanwhile, in the operational sector, they chill out under cover when not needed or even use straight jobs AS their cover. Not just a few of them are highly paid professional assassins. They are your diplomats, corporate board members, lawyers, educators (the pretty much out of the closet Rice/Chevron/Hoover Institute/Yoo/Stanford relationship can be seen), cops, FBI agents, pastors, human rights executives and journalists (that is just SO wrong), military officers, diverse corporate executives and employees, doctors, etcetera, normal seeming people afforded frequent vacations or travel often relating to their work… all cover for CIA. This criminal organization penetrates every aspect of society and should be disbanded, as easy as shutting off their (international narcotics trafficking sourced) money… Amnesty International earns the ‘we declined to meet with Ronald West and rather wish he was dead’ human rights front for intelligence agencies award…

Hillary goes to press saying “I loved my job” which actually can only mean ‘I loved jobbing the millions of women who voted for me on social issues’, reiterating Hillary could have had any cabinet position she liked but chose one far away from any reality of insuring honest (single payer?) health care reform or putting forward an American ‘women’s rights’ stamp on this administration… rather burning women alive around the globe with ‘humanitarian’ interventions. Woman Judas award…

My buddy Roger Cohen at the New York Times reads the Harper’s Magazine article “Jesus Killed Mohammed”, poops his pants and pirouettes on his honest column of the previous week accurately depicting Obama as differing from Bush only in the fact Obama can actually speak English… now Roger does journalistic fellatio on Obama’s foreign policy, ‘dripping’ praise for Obama’s differing approach contrasted to the factual “War on Islam” … neglecting to note the Harper’s article and Obama’s callow inability to take on the Pentagon’s religious extremist generals… in which case the Bush/religious-right “War on Islam” actually continues as a Obama policy… Bozo Boner award to Roger [male cowardice]

Roger returns to sensibility, on Israeli dishonesty dealing with peace in the middle east, recovering the pseudo of his manhood, but from here out I am going with Maureen Dowd over Roger’s PMS and mood swings, you just can’t know what to expect from Roger, I’ve been checking out Maureen and she is HOT! A better writer altogether, she has superior courage and took up the theme Roger had abandoned in his panic attack, Maureen, in her much more direct editorial “Cheney grabs a 3rd term” writes how it appears Cheney and Rumsfeld are making policy for their “boy toy” Obama (good one) Maureen Dowd earns a beauty, courage and truth award…

Hamas leader Khalid Meshal on Obama: “His language is different and positive” earns Meshal a honorable mention ‘a sucker is born every minute’ award (by now Meshal has to realize this)

Meshal (who the Obama administration will not include in any mid-east peace process at the insistence of Israel) and Ronald West share the dubious distinction of having survived bungled intelligence service assassination attempts, Meshal poisoned by MOSSAD on the orders of the Israeli prime minister Netanyahu.. multiple attempts on West on the orders of the MOSSAD/CIA/Department of Defense combined ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend’ rogue intelligence agents ‘in the service of our religious extremist super-friends alliance’… MOSSAD/CIA/religious extremist super-friends alliance earn a Corporate-Star-Chamber/Curia-Borgia bungler assassins award…

“As long as they don’t exclude any option, let the United States select the order of things,” Nobel Peace Prize winner/Israeli President Shimon Peres states while dictating terms it’s banana republic USA may employ in exploring any relationship with Iran… Peres making the point a bombing Iran “option” belongs to the USA first and then Israel will start the war the USA will have to fight [with an American army on the flank of Iran] if the Americans won’t blow up the ayatollahs… after an Israeli dictated ‘what the USA policies will be’ meeting on nuclear weapons with Obama and we all know Israel will be using American weapons and money and any Israeli attack would be no different that the USA initiating hostilities from Iran and the entire Islamic world’s point of view- Nobel Peace Prize selection committee gets ‘pulled a boner’ award [made a stupid mistake]

USA hog farming giant Smithfield Corporation murders ‘Wilber’ of Charlottes Web, since they have moved into Romania, Smithfield has run roughshod over environmental laws ill equipped to deal with the new mega-hog’s super-barns… as well in a mere decade they had driven the number of Romanian small pig operations from half a million to less than fifty thousand… with the impact felt as far away as African pig farmers who cannot compete with the sharp and sudden influx of cheap pork. Shareholders swine flu off-shore-tax-haven award, meanwhile, speaking of some real pigs:

The United States Air Force ‘open fly’ boys, piloting bombers sporting JESUS SAVES logos on their ‘cock’pits, shred scores of kids and women in Afghanistan, like Mickey Mouse taking on 7 giants at a single ‘blow’, AGAIN… even as the Pentagon’s religious extremist generals are busted by Al Jeezera TV for lying about concerted effort in command structure promoting Christian proselytizing of Afghans… led by the U.S. Army Chaplains and fundamentalist friends working on saving the souls of those Muslim “children of Satan” in a military that consequently blows the idea ‘Jesus loves the little children’ to bits with air strikes when the kids say ‘no thanks’…

Now, considering United States had planned, authorized and implemented torture, violating treaties we are signed to (never mind just how creepy that is) and that torture will now be altogether excused by our Department of ‘Just Us’ fundamentalist Christians, no problem with the cover-up and denial of the USA’s ‘holy war’ crime that goes on, eh Commander-in-Chief Obama? Any guess why the Afghans might prefer the theology of the Taliban to the ‘liberation’ theology of your military?? Commander-in-Chief Obama gets a ‘I’m still standing behind my Christian Crusaders’ war crimes award…

It’s come back to ‘I knew it was wrong but thought it was legal’ no criminal intent Anglo-Saxon law at Attorney General Holder’s Justice department… where water-boarding is torture but there is no crime involved… The Department of Justice, investigating itself, the same method the Israeli and American militaries use to insure they cannot discover evidence of war crimes or religious extremists and hate crime that exist in it’s ranks… the Justice Department internal inquiry draft report found ‘lapses but no crimes’ relating to the people preparing the ‘torture is legal’ memos, Obama’s Justice Department is determined EVERYONE will get off the hook, includes those who systematically planned, authorized, and implemented war crimes in the treatment of captives… welcome to the United States of Mugabe, Robert ‘tonton macoutes’ Gates’ led CIA in the service of Godfather George H.W. Bush family’s criminal-syndicate-secret-government in charge, all of Gates’ harem ‘boys’ curtsey to their polyandrous spouse… Gates: earns a Bugs Bunny in drag ‘gay wabbit’ award (that is a cruel rabbit, just ask Elmer Fudd)

‘dark queen’ Condoleezza (mirror, mirror on the wall) tells a student at a forum torture is: “legal by definition, if the president authorizes it”, and you just have to wonder at the Israeli philosophy of ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend’ because theirs has become a case of ‘with friends like these, who needs enemies?’ It is likely gonna be déjà vu for American Jews, not only the Jews in Israel, the AIPAC initiated American knee-jerk support for Israeli policy, no matter how self destructive, is looking more and more like a case of the chickens headed home to roost when these “perfected in God’s sight Jews” [Ann Coulter, citing St Paul] fundamentalist Christians’ coup is complete and the “Christ killers” [the U.S. military’s Officer’s Christian Fellowship ‘passion’ theology sobriquet for Jews] are told on ‘the water-board’ to convert because Mel Gibson’s Latin ‘rite’ wing Pius X “pray for the Jews” is back in vogue at Rome where water-boarding makes sense, because the church can save the Amazon this way, which a recent Pope had said is equally important to saving the world from homosexuals, rather than waste wood burning the Gays, Jews, Secular Humanists, Witches, women generally, kids that don’t behave, especially alter boys that talk, people who sue the church..  Condoleezza awarded the ‘president authorized it’ ‘Gangrene Heart’ lapel pin…

Another spook gets it, ex-CIA Kabul (Afghanistan) station chief Graham Fuller writes the 40 million ethnic Pashtun divided between Pakistan and Afghanistan are turning to the Taliban more as an expression of Pashtun power and independence under pressure from American military policy of “drone bombings and assassinations” rather than any great love for Taliban politics… pointing out “Pashtun are among the most fiercely nationalist, tribalized and xenophobic peoples of the world.” Obama must only read the Chevron’s Center for Strategic Studies General James ‘the reverend jim’ Jones  and ‘dark queen’ Condoleezza’s briefing papers … while negotiating to keep nine military bases in Afghanistan, when actually Obama needs to think about the modern day number of FORTY MILLION of the same Pashtun people Alexander the Great could not defeat with superior weapons and training, and since Alexander had failed, no one has ever defeated the Pashtun, Soviet Union included… Fuller wins a rehabilitation to truth award, a rare honor for CIA:

Speaking of CIA “drone bombings and assassinations”, I’d neglected to mention awhile back the Zirdari photo in the New York Times, Zirdari grinning like the cat that ate the canary with his wife out of the way, flanked by photos of Benazir Bhutto as though those photos were feathers of a bird clinging to the corners of his mouth… Zirdari had sucked up to the CIA in ways Benazir never would have… Zirdari wins a ‘sucks up to the CIA at any price to bring me to power’ award…

Obama’s former National Security Advisor, Chevron poster child General James ‘the reverend jim’ Jones, continues useing the national ‘prayer breakfast’ circuit to praise the Pentagon air strikes that kill scores of kids and their moms… “we can’t fight with one hand tied behind our back”… gee, he just admitted we can’t nearly as effectively kill kids and women without air strikes… meanwhile our ‘Campus Crusade jihad for Jesus’ Pentagon had appointed a “one star general” to ‘study’ the air strike massacres “problem”, you know ‘one star’ only has to please fellow Christian extremist generals and ‘one star’ will become two… while a Pope who had rehabilitated the anti-Semitic extremist ‘passion for pius x’ calls for tolerance even as the ‘passion’ inspired American special operations generate holy war… as the Bush family criminal syndicate’s commander-in-chief  Robert ‘tonton macoutes’ Gates had engineered a major revamp of our military to beef up those very special operations forces which are ideal for committing war crimes under cover… Bonanza of torturing Bozos award…

Constitutional law professor Obama takes the coward’s moral midget road and moves to block the release of war crimes photos ordered released by TWO courts, on behalf of his recent bosom buddy, the war criminal Defense Secretary Robert Gates, oblivious to the ONLY means of defusing holy war with the Muslim world which is: to come clean and prosecute… while the New York Times reporters continue to suck up to the incompetence in Afghanistan, writing on the war as though it were not yet the total fiasco it is, giving the war credence by quoting generals who make an un-winnable war even more un-winnable than necessary… no one is asking the hard questions, ignoring how to win peace, like clearing out the religious extremism… meanwhile Congress “grumbles” as it prepares to ante up the hundreds of billions upon wasted trillions to keep it all going downhill… cluster of tortured boners award…

The homophobic Boy Scouts of America’s “Explorer Scouts”, some as young as 14, are given anti-terror SWAT training by police who have to take online anti-sexual abuse courses, as though that would stop a pedophile, on account of past civil and criminal cases concerning police sexual abuse of the Explorer Scouts… Boy Scouts earn a closet-pedophile ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ award…

Supreme Court Justice Scalia says he does not believe in legislative intent… now I really hate to spill scalding coffee on the bulge in Scalia’s lap, but if this is the case as he states, Scalia has a problem. There is this ‘thing’ in our Constitution called “un-enumerated rights” and if Scalia can only read the language of the law itself without taking into account the legislative intent, those “un-enumerated rights” must be forever “un-enumerated” in which case they can never be “rights”… congress sent an idiot to the bench award…

Sociopath CIA Officer Sabrina De Sousa is wanted in Italy for kidnap and delivery to torture… this dufus 57-year-old-4-year-old-in-denial sues the USA for diplomatic immunity she is not eligible for in her former consular work (lawyers will try anything for money, in this case the dufus Sabrina’s money), denying she was a CIA agent, the case draws the media’s attention and they of course go to their sources who are also CIA and the sources blow it for her by saying Sabrina is CIA… HOW STUPID WAS THAT SABRINA? The interesting thing here is the State Department (Sabrina’s cover) sources saying they had been trying to get the Italian case involving Sabrina shut down, hell yes, they were because this is the case where an Italian intelligence agency defendant brought out the information Condoleezza Rice was in charge of the USA’s delivery to torture program called ‘extraordinary renditions’ .. interesting, Ronald West states he recognizes Sabrina from her photo, their paths had crossed in Germany? (remarkable, a perfect stranger SMIRKS at you in Wiesbaden, duh, says Ronald) Sabrina gets CIA bungler’s award…

Which brings us back to Obama shutting down the photographic evidence of abuse by Americans ordered released by our courts… Obama’s statement (parroting the denial of Bush era) indicating isolated incidence “carried out in the past by a small number of individuals” is a bald-faced, through the teeth lie. This is Constitutional law professor Obama’s assault on the rule of law in the tradition of John [fuck] Yoo, because we know now this photographic evidence reflects only a few instance of a several agencies wide (CIA, Justice, Defense and State) program involving many hundreds of people and thousands of cases of war crimes in Iraq, Afghanistan, Guantanamo, Black Sites and proxies, which in part have been described by a judge in Spain as “an authorized and systematic plan of torture and abuse of people stripped of liberty, without charges and denied the basic rights afforded detainees”   .. there is ONE WAY OUT of our war with Islam begun by Bush/Cheney, and that one way out is: GOOD FAITH PROSECUTIONS to stop the ONGOING religion motivated crimes:

NOW…. Here are the CIA briefed American leaders who approved, initiated and/or pursued carrying out the torture program.   CIA briefers were then director George ‘torture’s’ Tenet and deputy director John Mc-Laugh-lin

Briefees included George ‘baby doc’ Bush, ‘big dick’ Cheney, ‘dark queen’ Condoleezza (mirror, mirror on the wall), Don ‘tin man’ Rumsfeld, and John ‘Muslims are the children of Satan’ Ashcroft, no surprises there

Colin Powell? Oops, his claim he was duped into presenting false intelligence info at the UN, justifying Iraq’s invasion, I think just turned into the kid run over by the ice cream truck-

Senate hawks Bob ‘cracker’ Grahm and Richard ‘confederate general’ Shelby, Florida and Alabama respectively, ok, perfectly straightforward right wing honkies, to be expected, no surprises there either…

Congressman Porter ‘former Director of CIA’ Goss, I’d be surprised if he had NOT been named, and whadda-ya-know:

NANCY ‘apes’ PELOSI

If ever there were a doubt Nancy suffers ‘acquired ego-priapism syndrome’, I think it is safe to say now the diagnosis has been confirmed… AEPS, pronounced APES, as in ‘apes’ cowardly male behaviors…   Nancy is the surprise add to the list of war criminals the USA is obliged to prosecute according to our constitution’s ‘supremacy clause’ …“any treaty made shall be the supreme law of the land” unless of course Obama is going to jettison either our constitution or the torture treaty the USA is signed to (he jettisoned our constitution, no surprise, now that he is a guilty party himself)

So, constitutional law professor Obama, as Attorney General Holder plows through his medieval Anglo-Saxon medicine chest, looking for remedies to treat the migraine of a plausible ‘writ of mandamus’ in his forced grand jury referrals and preparation of criminal indictments under the torture treaty, did you really want to protect Pelosi from war crimes culpability like Pelosi protected Bush from impeachment (suddenly, totally understanding Pelosi was covering her own war criminal ass)

And to the question of pardons, how fortunate a person is innocent until proven guilty under the USA legal practice, meaning Obama cannot constitutionally pardon anyone prior to a trial and conviction…

House Republican leader John ‘the boner’ Boehner has described a report pointing to the dangers of right wing soldiers as a future threat to domestic security offensive and called on the government to apologize to veterans. As a veteran, I call on Representative ‘Boner’ to apologize to all Americans for the acts of our future Timothy McVeighs represented in un-prosecuted special operations war criminals being released back into our society…

My ‘I knew it was wrong but thought it was legal’ awardees, whose political lies and/or rhetorical stupidities can often be found in my blogs, in order of lie or stupidity’s magnitude: Barak Obama (to Turkish Parliament “USA is not at war with Islam”), George Bush (”People who are allowed to worship freely in society, are people who are going to be peaceful citizens” as our Christian extremist led military pursues holy war he started), Supreme Court Justice Alito (”Marauding Indians” in a firearms decision, OMG, Geronimo!), Senator Kit Bond in a Senate hearing, (”you can’t believe what you read” about CIA torture), Attorney General Eric Holder (too many to recite), Nancy Pelosi (self-serving political lies), Sarah Palin (for posing as Jack Kerouac in drag in real life) and Hillary Clinton “We came we saw, we murdered” Gaddafi (because I think the ‘girlz’ who behave like ‘boyz’ deserve to make the ‘boyz’ list)

Closet republican morality disclaimer, also known as the Senator Larry Craig clause: for the purposes of this thesis, the term “boner” is the first (1) given in the Oxford Dictionary, however any Barney Frank-o-philes are permitted to imagine it is the second (2), in which case any prurient lampoons should be ‘tasteful’

boner |ˈbōnər|

noun

1 informal a stupid mistake.

2 vulgar slang an erection of the penis.

ORIGIN after House Republican leader John ‘Boehner’ the quintessential prick

Here is how a ‘Barney Frank-o-phile’ (‘hitting’ on the liberals) lampoon could work:

Instead of walking out on Iranian President ‘mouthy’ Mahmoud, at the UN forum on racism, when ‘mouthy’ truthfully called Israel “cruel and repressive”, why didn’t one of those western diplomats, instead of disappearing like cowards, stand up and shout out “Fair enough, now, what I want to know, is there a ‘boner’ involved when Iran puts it’s women to death, for adultery, by stoning?” Of course that would make worldwide headlines and Iran would realize it had REALLY ‘pulled a boner’

Here is how a ‘closet republican morality’ (‘nailing’ the conservatives) lampoon could be ‘pulled off’

The UN Rapporteur on racism has stated “defaming religion” should be dis-allowed, wow, I suppose that means the office in Rome called the congregation for the doctrine in the faith will be ‘coming out’ of the closet, to be called the holy inquisition again, and anyone who stands up to torture will be charged by the prosecutor Gonadius [worse than ‘pig’ Latin, eh? gonad + ius], with the crime of having ‘pulled a boner’ (of course that can only mean ‘made a stupid mistake’) Subtle difference, you think?

And of course, there is always the morality neutral or ‘ethics free’ example (getting digs into the ‘I’m in it for me’ sociopath public figure), in this case a ‘half-truth’ :

Rahm Emanual: “The Republicans are the party of no ideas”, neglecting to mention he was the ‘wormtongue’ (wet tongue?) in the ear of a Democratic president with brain-dead ideas…

And so it all goes to: “Know thyself” –the pedophile Socrates, executed for “corrupting the youth of Athens”

Now, it seems fitting this should degenerate into a legal treatise designed to constitutionally box in the ‘boyz’, and as such, is apropos to pick on Chief Justice John ‘boy’ Roberts, who went from ‘Waltons’ family lawyer to chief executive at the violent pornography industry of Anglo-Saxon law;

John ‘boys’ court had been recently accused of ‘pulling a boner’ [a cowardly legal decision] by much more principled conservative judges than the dwarves on the conservative wing of this Supreme Court… who have been accused by those more principled men of legal ‘mealy mouth’ in a recent ‘right to bear arms’ or 2nd Amendment case, and called it a right wing Roe v Wade for mincing around the ‘hard’ facts…

Just like the all male Roe court could not ‘bear’ to give women the 4th amendment’s protection of “privacy in their papers” :

‘Dear diary, today I had to choose between raising a child in poverty for a father I’ve discovered would never be there for us, or terminating…’

No differently, John ‘boys’ court could not call a spade a spade and admit the founders meant “the right of the people to bear arms” to be a clause against a coup of the power corrupt over our rule of law… this could have been intelligently addressed by BEING HONEST and calling the right to bear arms what our constitution meant it to be, a militia of the people that does NOT shoot “marauding Indians” at casinos, giving states a bit of control over assault rifles (that actually cannot be constitutionally taken from the people so long as the 2nd Amendment and a modern arms military both exist), like one assault rifle per militia member which is any person of good legal standing in the community, no record of domestic violence and with brains enough to pass an 8th grade constitutional ethics test, weapon stays locked up in the home… and use of ANY firearm in a crime could consequently be made a statutory case of domestic treason for violating a fellow citizen’s civil liberties-

But naw, self serving cowards can’t pull their heads out from where the sun never shines, because the idea I just proposed would preserve our constitution AND DRAMATICALLY REDUCE the number of assault rifles and ALL other firearms on our streets as well as shut down the weapons exports to Mexican drug cartels, too bad that would hurt the gun lobby…

Now, where do you suppose John ‘boy’ will come out on torture? Will he allow prosecutions of his corporate class peers?? Since now days the 4th Amendment appears to only protect the privacy of the papers held as corrupt corporate class state secrets concealing crimes, the prognosis is not good, but I have an idea!

Uncle Sam has this Latino dude named ‘Stare Decisis’ in his honky law library, he’s been the bouncer, all his work is about is, there should be stability and quiet in the case-law or, that had been the way it worked and so that is the way it generally should be.

Now John ‘boy’s’ honkies have been ganging up on this Latino dude recently, so Stare Decisis brings a knife to work to defend himself. Returning to the Silvergate nincompoop’s  ‘let’s all duck responsibility with a honky defense’ rationale, I do believe this Latino dude can take out a certain Anglo-Saxon’s ass, that is, the whole idea surrounding ‘I knew it was wrong but thought it was legal’ as a legitimate ‘no criminal intent’ defense-

Here is how it could work: Anglo-Saxon right wingers (includes dark rye ‘cracker’ Clarence ‘anita’s bad hair day’ Thomas) like to kill people, that is easy to see in John ‘boys’ conservatives putting retarded and insane people to death… and honky states like to force anti-psychotics into defendants so they become fit at trial to understand why they are going to die for something they could not understand when they did it…

So if John ‘boys’ ‘boss-hog’ federal court has let those state decisions stand, bingo, suddenly Stare Decisis, this Latino dude, whips out his knife! And he goes beserk from being picked on!!

The Supreme Court takes anti-psychotics to understand what is happening in the real world and the Anglo-Saxon no criminal intent ‘I knew it was wrong but thought it was legal’ defense is knife wounds like the slashers in the movies make (oh, our lovely 1st Amendment!) across their blindfolded bitch’s Anglo-Saxon body of no criminal intent law, Stare Decisis just cut her to pieces!!!!!

Your averaged IQ of 90 could puzzle through the shit in this process’ result- Whoa, check it out, THAT BITCH IS DEAD!!!!!!!

With eyes mere slits, Chief Justice John Roberts proposed Stare Decisis had passed the Federalist Society rite of initiation and be awarded membership. Stare, feeling his ingratiation with the fascists would further his career opportunities, and therefore smugly pleased, sat for his official photo on a tall stool wearing the borrowed Federalist Society member George W Bush’s dunce cap, which was actually a modified Klu Klux Klan headdress, presented by a Grand Wizard.

With Stare’s middle finger shoved up his nose as though digging deep for a booger, the preferred pose of society members for photos, John Roberts, Antonin Scalia and Samuel Alito pulled from beneath their robes Thompson Sub-Machine guns, stolen for the occasion at Dick Cheney’s direction by Federalist Society house niggers Clarence Thomas and Condoleezza Rice; from the Al Capone exhibit at the FBI museum.

The Thompson drum clips having been filled with unjacketed aluminum alloy hollow point 45 caliber ammunition provided by Academi Corporation, as Anthony Kennedy watched via live feed at the Citizen’s United VIP lounge, the three justices fired precisely 150 rounds, at point blank range, into the biggest buffoon ever to claim expertise in law as a member of the American Bar Association.

A few hours later, the night shift janitor with a ‘four zero’ security clearance who’d been told to bring a body bag to work, was grossed out. Stare Decisis had been basically pureed, his remains little more than a large congealing puddle with a few big chunks.

**

“There’s an old saying,”In the days of slavery, there were those slaves who lived on the plantation and there were those slaves that lived in the house. You got the privilege of living in the house if you served the master … exactly the way the master intended to have you serve him.

“It is my personal feeling that plantations exist all over America. If you walk into South Central Los Angeles, into Watts, or you walk into Over-the-Rhine in Cincinnati, you’ll find people who live lives that are as degrading as anything that slavery had ever produced. They live in economic oppression, they live in a disenfranchised way. In the hearts and minds of those people, and millions of others, you’re always looking for hope, and whenever somebody within our tribe, within our group, emerges that has the position of authority and power to make a difference in the way business is done, our expectations run high. Many times, those expectations are not fulfilled. But when such an individual is in the service of those who not only perpetuate the oppression, but sometimes design the way in which it is applied, it then becomes very, very, very, very critical that we raise our voices and be heard” -Harry Belafonte

*

The Satires

 

 

beheaded clown

Free speech clown series

Don Rumsfeld & Dick Cheney’s Dog

You all have heard of the first grade primer ‘Dick and Jane’? Well, as fate would have it, Dick did not grow up to love Jane, because Dick (like Don) matured into a homosexual in denial, or “RRR” (sounds like a Rottweiler growl), one of those closet morality, socially/sexually frustrated and consequently mean people known as a Religious Right Republican.

So, this has to be a adult repressed homosexual ‘dick’, or machismo porn variation, of the ‘Dick and Jane’ story. Consequently, the story of how Don Rumsfeld met his demise, because of Dick Cheney’s dog, is pretty screwed up.

It’s called: Don and ‘dick’

Rumsfeld was visiting ‘big dick’ Cheney at Cheney’s ‘spread’ in Wyoming, Cheney was wishing he could have shot George Bush in the face with his shotgun because the coward George flinched and did not pull the trigger on Iran…

While reminiscing missed opportunities at initiating Armageddon, wishing they could have shot more people in the face, especially more Arabs, and about their longing for certain fascists to be in their lives, past and present, secular and religious.. among other things, Rummy suddenly asked ‘big dick’ why his Rottweiler, “Machismo”, was always locked in his kennel.

Mean people have mean dogs and, Dick explained to Don that “Machismo” had an edge about him, Machismo simply could not be trusted around visitors. Dick went on to explain how he wished it were otherwise and how he wished Machismo could be trusted to obey him and only tear apart people that he did not like, he’d tried dog trainers but they cost him money, too much money, because Machismo took a chuck of flesh out of all of them, every dog trainer he had tried. His insurance premiums had gone sky high, all on account of Machismo.

Rumsfeld: “Why don’t you get a different dog?”

Cheney: “Because I love my Machismo.”

Then Don had an idea.

Rumsfeld: “Hey Dick, there is the Arapaho Indian Reservation right up the road, why don’t you get a Medicine Man to take the edge off your Machismo? I saw on the Discovery Channel the Indians can talk to animals, you know they are all devil worshippers, so maybe there is something to it.”

Dick’s eyes brightened considerably, an amazing thing, as though a light had turned on upstairs, but then his brow furrowed back to normal, as though nobody were home.

Cheney: “That’s the problem. They are all devil worshipers, you know, Indians are sorcerers like the Old Testament forbids be ‘found among us.’”

So Don and Dick discussed that and came up with a solution. If they were not at Dick’s ‘spread’ while the medicine man worked with Dick’s Machismo, the sorcerer would not be found ‘among them’ and it would all be ok in the end, because St Paul had said “All things work together for good” for Christians like Don and Dick. So they sent a Secret Service agent to find a medicine man with an explanation of how Dick would like the edge taken off of his Machismo, and then went quail hunting, so the Indian sorcerer would not be ‘found among them.’

The secret service agent found a medicine man, a Blackfoot married to an Arapaho and living in Wyoming, a typical dumb Indian, who with a look of stunned disbelief, kept asking the agent again and again “What!?” After the agent had identified himself four times and explained Dick Cheney wanted the edge taken off his Machismo eight times, a light filled this Blackfoot Indian’s eyes, this agent was serious, and the devil was right at home.

Indians know when the gods deliver the opportunity of  a lifetime, and this was opportunity at redemption. It had been awhile since the medicine men had been noticed, that is, the now days scarce authentic ones, and the agent had stumbled onto the real McCoy. First and foremost, this Indian believed in the Native law of reciprocity and well knew how it worked, something the Whitemen had not sorted out since Jesus had told them about it two millennia ago: “As you sow, so shall you reap.”

In this Indian’s world view, the opportunity was all about deliverance, and the attending attrition from any consequence, a sort of natural quantum mechanics shamanic death manifest by friendly fire, simply would have to be tolerated, because the medicine men are all about manifesting truth, and this native cultural idea taken together with the dogs name, set out the path to healing Dick’s Machismo: The dog would have to be taught how to enjoy narcissistic sex, instead of biting people.

Initially, the medicine man realized he would have to endure Machismo’s instinct to hump his leg, that was disturbing, but to reach the goal beyond… The Indian told the agent, well, ok, he would do it for ‘dick.’ The agent missed the straight faced Indian humor… and utterly failed his agency’s chartered mandate.

Indians are observational people, primarily, and know the purpose of dog butt sniffing rituals, sort of like when a Blackfoot and Cree spot each other from across a boulevard in downtown Calgary, the hair goes up on both backs and both Indians are thinking to the other “You can sniff my butt” in a historical context, and it is not a friendly thought. The actual butt sniffing between them is purely psychic, preceding any challenge and fight, and the medicine man doctoring Dick’s Machismo would need to circumvent this phenomena to achieve his aims. So sorcery came into play. He collected urine from a bitch in heat, rubbed a little of it on his knee, and bringing more along in a vial, he traveled to heal Dick’s Machismo.

The dog was very happy to see him, no hostility or butt sniffing ritual encountered at all, the Indian told the agent he had to work with the dog alone, brought out a plastic baby rattle wrapped in leather with a few strings with beads, to look convincing, and Dick’s fundamentalist christian body guard was more than happy to leave. Then this Indian began to work with Dick’s Machismo… “Now Machismo, my leg is a good beginning, but we have to show you something, you don’t need my leg or me at all, you can do this all for yourself- just follow her scent to where it feels so right….”

In Blackfoot language we have a word, I don’t know how to spell it in the Whiteman’s language, but it sounds something like oww-woe-tops and it means you are crazy and “everyone knows the Whiteman is crazy” is a Blackfoot proverb proven again and again, example given, Dick Cheney hiring an Indian that hates him, as every Indian should, to tame his Machismo. There is another Blackfoot word I dare not try to pronounce here, but it means “Dog Face.” It is about as bad as Blackfeet language profanity gets, and it is not as tame as it might seem, initially. The term refers to a certain facial expression…

Don and Dick were headed back to Dicks ‘spread’, the agent had called and told them the medicine man had pronounced Dick’s Machismo healed and was leaving, and as fate would have it, the medicine man, and Don and Dick, passed each other on the dirt and gravel country road, the Indian pushing his 1968 Chevy pickup named the “Red Jet” as hard as he could, the worn out 327 V-8 boiling blue smoke into the dust storm he was whipping up behind him, windows down, braids flying, wild eyed panic combined with a maniacal mirth at his crime, co-mingled with prayers to all the gods that he WOULD escape… thinking when he saw Don and Dick “you can sniff my butt” while trying to put on as many miles as he could, as fast as he could, to escape Dick’s ‘spread.’ Don said “God Damn”, Dick in the same moment saying “he must have brought along his whiskey”…

Dick and Don, walking to the kennel, turned a corner bringing Machismo into view in that very moment Machismo was swallowing it, gulping himself down with a certain facial expression… Don had a sudden epiphany, and he exclaimed “Machismo sucks!”, and Dick’s perpetual grimace of hate torqued down to the point it actually broke his primitive semblance of a mind, he pulled his permitted concealed weapon…

The camera pans away to the beautiful red rock cliffs of Wyoming, there was a first shot echoed together with Machismo’s dying yelp, Don shouted “NO!” and the second shot was heard… a pause.. the third shot sounded and America never heard Dick Cheney say “Terror” again.

In the here-after, for all of eternity, Don repeated “Look Dick, look. See Machismo suck!” And for all of eternity Dick shot Machismo and Don, again and again and could not kill them or himself (because they were already dead.)

The Secret Service agent kept his mouth shut about his role in the cause behind the Rumsfeld/Cheney murder/suicide, and no one came after the medicine man who laughed for years, again and again like a child, every time he recalled:

“you can sniff my butt”

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CheneyAztec

HARVEST

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The Satires

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