Archives for posts with tag: satire

^ Andy Warhol illustration ^

If anyone were to find the satire aspect of this post to be offensive, well, so what. I find the media lies we are fed every day to be offensive –

if the British can identify & specify the precise molecular composition of the supposed ‘Soviet era’ nerve agent they now claim had been employed to poison Skripal, they should as well be able to precisely replicate the same poison with all of the implications that might point to. Three suspects should be looked at with no particular order of preference:

1) MI6

2) CIA

3) Ukraine’s foreign security service

4) Any combination of the preceding

It simply makes no sense for Russia to have done this, Putin wouldn’t want the attending public relations making him out to be the godfather of all primal evil and Russia has not been keen on amping up tensions with the liberal democracies (unlike certain NATO aligned personalities)

Spook Soup

Insofar as people who’re trained to lie as one’s 1st nature, there is an Achilles’ heel can trap the undercover spook; “identity confusion” where one in four officers are established to suffer related psychological disturbance.

Now, as a brief exercise in ‘creative fiction’ before we examine the facts, let’s pose as writers for the UK paper ‘The Telegraph’ who’re moonlighting as Hollywood script writers, repackaging and selling the calls they’re receiving from MI6 (mis)shaping their storytelling (lies.)

As a literary device, we’ll lobotomize Christopher Steele & colleagues as a class; because the scientific literature regarding spooks working under cover has established they “should be intelligent” but “not too intelligent.” Hence their IQ must, at the least, present a challenge to certain science fiction chimpanzees:

It all begins with a meeting at Vauxhall, where Britain’s MI6 executive officers are called to an urgent meeting to consider an appalling circumstance; Alex Younger chairs the meeting and  opens with a bone-chilling briefing, drawing a collective expression of fear from otherwise stoic & motley lot of veteran spooks where none know the real identity of the others (themselves included.)

AY: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have an unimaginable circumstance, it would seem there is a new General Grubozaboyschikov has bested our own real life Bond, that is Christopher Steele. Anyone that can outsmart someone as competent as Oscar LeWinter, and our Steele was every bit LeWinter’s equal, poses this agency nightmarish problems. Agent ViXen, this will not be pretty, brace yourself.

VX: Aii! You said “was”? Steele’s not survived?

AY: Not as a ‘man.’ Steele did indeed come in from the dark. His last act as a ‘man’ was to attend dinner with  General Grubozaboyschikov’s agents Boris & Natasha, to receive a dossier on Trump. When our man woke up from the sedative slipped into his wine, he discovered his testicles had been drilled through and securely bolted down (with large washers flattening them to millimeters thickness) to the hardwood floor. Within Steele’s reach was an eXacto-knife with note attached and beyond his reach, his cell phone. The note said “Well, mate, cutting your own ball sack off is symbolic act at this point, by the time you read this your gonads will already be dead. The phone is in working order, now be  a sport and do what must be done to reach the phone and save your life.” Agent ViXen, how would you feel about a new cover as a lesbian? You’re boyfriend Steele has come out of transgender surgery in fine shape; but his future with a ‘middle-aged cougar’ cover is in serious doubt .. you know, when that fine former male’s stiffied-upper lip gags in the act of giving head while assigned clandestine sexual liaisons. Our psychologists don’t believe he can make the transition… his persona is overly identified with James Bond.

VX: CURSE YOU BORIS AND NATASHA!!

Well, in a way, the preceding is about as accurate as reporting at The Telegraph (we’ll come to that) only probably much better. When circumstance finally requires sorting fact from fiction, it’ll likely come down to the Steele dossier was invented and fed to Christopher Steele by MI6, the CIA or, least likely, by Russian intelligence. The entire dossier content being essentially bullshit, effectively has castrated Steele as a reputable spook in the world of espionage and makes MI6 look dumber than a box of rocks. Steele’s firm Orbis is finished.

Boiled down, what the Telegraph claims, based on its ‘spook’ and other sources, is poisoned spy Sergei Skripal was Christopher Steele’s dossier source. Supposedly Skripal was meeting regularly with Russian intelligence at Russia’s embassy in London, presumably coming away with material damaging to Trump. The Telegraph reporting gives 100% credence to the dossier every intelligence figure that is not lobotomized understands is almost certainly altogether bogus.

According to the Telegraph, Skripal’s betrayal made the Russians so mad they assigned a hit squad to follow Skripal’s daughter to England and take them out to ‘send a message.’

Now, let’s repackage this patent nonsense in a wrapping of common sense.

Scenario One

Supposedly Russian intelligence in London is letting its people meet and discuss current events in ‘tradecraft’ terms with a former double agent in Russian intelligence, a man recently employed by MI6, who previously, prior to a spy swap, was in prison in Russia for giving up Russian spies to MI6. If, by some incredible stretch of the imagination this senario were to be true, only a lobotomized British spy could believe anything that had been reported back.

Consider [then] President Medvedev had pardoned Skripal at the time of the spy swap, presumably Skripal still has fully valid Russian citizenship. If he were indeed visiting the Russian embassy, it could be for any number of routine consular affairs, for instance keeping his passport current or dealing with bureaucratic procedures when applying for his retirement pension.

Possibly MI5/MI6 suspected Skripal was ‘redeeming’ himself with the Russians under pretense of using consular services; reporting back to the Russian side on his recent MI6 employment, as Skripal had expressed remorse at his trial in Russia and had cooperated with investigators, subsequently receiving a reduced sentence. If Skripal had been making routine visits to the Russian embassy, that couldn’t have pleased the British side.

Motive to assassinate Skripal assigned to British MI6.

Scenario Two

The Telegraph believes Vladimir Putin would actually opt for his world-wide reputation to be one of murderous slime. That’s basically the argument MI5/MI6 has made on behalf of their intelligence contacts proposing to media a Russian hit squad committed the poisoning to ‘send a message.’ A lobotomized British spy would suggest it, a lobotomized Telegraph editorial staff could pass it off as fact, and a lobotomized British public could believe it. It is this last is closest to fact, on account of the British public, and the western democracies’ public generally, are so pervasively lied to by media, they might as well be lobotomized.

Probably what actually had happened is, the Steele dossier was never supposed to be an issue at this point. The original intent had been the ‘Steele dossier’ should have derailed Trump’s election and we wouldn’t have a sitting President of the United States complicating the sh*t out of the fact the ‘dossier’ cannot be conveniently disposed of and buried in the past. Here’s the proposed conversation:

John Brennan: Alex, I have some ‘laundry’ concerning a certain pretender to the American throne, so to speak, and it’s origin is too close to home. I need an offshore laundromat that likes dollars laundered to pounds laundered to rubles.

Alex Younger: I have your man, none too bright, and enough distance on this end, out of our employ for 10 years. Formerly a Russia assignment. Put your people on developing a conduit to feed him, and of course, I can’t know about any of it.

But then, Trump beat all odds (and the popular vote with a constitutional loophole) to become president and the stinking dossier cannot be done away with. The next conversation went something like this:

Alex: John, your end dropped the ball. We need this mess cleaned up and quick.

John: Alex, we’ll do what we can but I’m a lame duck. Here’s Mike Pompeo’s number, he’s as mean as they come… it’ll get taken care of.

Subsequently, the lobotomized intelligence agencies have to bet on lobotomized media subservience to a point of the lobotomized British public, and the western democracies lobotomized public at large, is dumb enough to believe ‘the Russians did it’ to send a message because Putin could care less about public relations and desires to be known as the sire of Satan himself.

Desperate information warfare motive to assassinate Skripal assigned to combined CIA/British MI6.

Scenario Three

In this least likely ‘everyone on the liberal democracies’ intelligence agencies side is truly lobotomized’ scenario, known double agent Skripal, via Steele, was actually a conduit for Russian intelligence feeding false allegations to American intelligence concerning Trump. Lurid allegations that could never be proved are fed to Steele, Steele (and by default, the Americans) ran with this unvetted material from a severely dubious source creating a massive credibility problem were the dossier ever actually investigated. The result is British and American intelligence looking worse than the dumbest cartoon spooks, ever. Sadly, given the contemporary standard of British & American leadership at the intelligence agency level, however unlikely, this is actually possible.

Revenge/silenced witness motive assigned to the British and Americans.

Wild Card Scenario

Ukraine’s Foreign Intelligence Service, MOSSAD, many nations secret services with an axe to grind for Russia, which could include NATO’s three Chihuahuas (Lithuania, Latvia & Estonia), Poland is run by Russophobes, other maverick NATO players, et cetera add nausea.

With the exception of Ukraine, whose leaders are of a much higher mental instability (on par with Anglo-Saxons) than your run of the mill European ‘liberal democracy’ cowardly and criminal leaders, Ukraine having shot down MH 17 with a combat jet, the very idea of Putin discovering a 3rd party false flag pointing to them probably would see their balls retract to a pre-puberty state. Excepting Ukraine (plausibly holding Soviet era nerve agent stocks), 3rd party false flag ruled out (with MOSSAD disqualified because they actually work to hold Bibi back from making existential threatening mistakes, the aggressively corrupt Bibi who sometimes may be MOSSAD’s puppet but is never MOSSAD’s master.)

What that persona of aggression named Theresa May should look at, instead of running her mouth based on what the likes of Alex Younger may be informing her, is this circumstance is too complicated-compromised from day one to go with your top professional liar.

What Alex Younger should be doing is, calling Gerhard Schindler and asking how it is he’d avoided public disclosure and jail when he’d been forced out as head of Germany’s BND almost certainly because of lying to the German Federal Parliament, on account of this informant (yours truly) had provided that very parliament convincing evidence of Schindler’s perfidy; when Schindler knowingly lied to parliament about who used chemical weapons in Syria.

Recipe for Spook Soup

“Professional standards require intelligence professionals to lie, hide information, or use covert tactics to protect their “cover,” access, sources, and responsibilities. The Central Intelligence Agency expects, teaches, encourages, and controls these tactics so that the lies are consistent and supported (“backstopped”). The CIA expects intelligence officers to teach others to lie, deceive, steal, launder money, and perform a variety of other activities that would certainly be illegal if practiced in the United States. They call these tactics “tradecraft,” and intelligence officers practice them in all the world’s intelligence services” -Hulnick & Mattausch, “Ethics and Morality in U.S. Secret Intelligence”

“a variety of other activities” & “certainly be illegal if practiced in the United States” should have been a bit wider net cast, to ‘certainly be illegal if practiced anywhere.’ Particularly when including attempted murders and murders. And that’s what you’ll oftentimes get in the world of spooks. Except when it comes to HUMIT (human intelligence or actual spies) the Russians are not so nearly dumb enough to ‘send a message’ incriminating themselves with a sloppy nerve agent poisoning. Only a desperate western or rogue Ukrainian intelligence agency would do that.

Desperate, you say? Well, yes. The entire ‘the Russians did it’ western intelligence caper is falling apart, from the Democratic National Committee ‘hack‘ to the Steele dossier consisting of little more than naturally produced human methane almost certainly originating in either Langley or Vauxhall. The more ‘Never Trump’ intelligence agencies’ lies fall apart, the more desperate the acts to attempt backstopping lies that can’t be backstopped. Even as they’re losing, their criminal business model demands they cannot lose. It’s an accelerating-losing psychological feedback loop at this point. Each subsequent act to shield the criminality lessens possibilities for their web of lies holding up.

The real question here is, when will any ‘allies’ toss the Ango-Saxons on either side of the pond in favor of rationality? Can they imagine life without NATO aggression? In a geopolitical rearrangement realistically engaging-cooperating with Russia? Or are they all lobotomized?

Note on the preceding: I hate to give up hope my countrymen will find a means to clean up the anti-constitutional order unleashed by the National Security Act of 1947, creating a CIA these days fused at many levels with the Pentagon, enabling absolute idiots at the intelligence agencies and warmongers at the White House running the affairs of my country like a deep state Monopoly board game with nukes. Nothing would get common Americans attention like some longstanding European allies finally saying ‘this is a reach too far’ and putting up some real resistance to the utter criminality overtaken leadership of my nation. Courageous statesmanship is what’s needed.

 

*

info-satire by Ronald

There is, I believe, no more brutal humor on Earth, than bonafide Native American humor, and although this humor’s frequent darkness may be related to recent history (past few centuries), there’s really something else about the universal (across the tribes) trickster (god, with a small g) that is fundamentally opposed to the western or modern (to the Americas) mentality. One might consider the ‘taciturn’ Indian maybe doesn’t talk to the Whites (or their close kin, the ‘Black-Whiteman’) in the terms you see here (or talk much in the presence of Whites at all), it’s either because 1) they’re too polite to say what they actually think and/or 2) They know, more likely than not, in any case it’d be a wasted effort. In this 2nd case, I have to apologize to Mr Barking Dog (see below) for violating Native etiquette and pointing out ‘stupid is as stupid does’ is the most apropos folk proverb to describe this phenomenal problem of cross-cultural non-communication; no, wait. It’s not stupid is as stupid does, it’s the dilemma of trying to explain a few simple things to ‘people too stupid to understand they’re stupid.’ Consequently, I fear for my legacy; having tried to do just that. But I might be saved by the Native rule of paradox, because someone with a little bit of humility, having actually read through this following essay’s insults, might actually get the fundamentally sound lesson in the Native humor… it’s not that I mean to give anyone a lifetime’s mental complex, but in our (Native) world there are no excuses, you have to sort through, you cannot conceal, your bulls**t.

Barking Dog: “Want to understand ! Can’t get there from here. Stuck in Caucasian thought, way of doing things. Can you direct me to an area of studies starting at square one so I can understand. Or would it be a useless effort like a dog chasing his tail. Thanks for your work and sharing the earth people’s way”

So, I got this preceding message from Barking Dog over at James LaFond’s site where he [James] is kind enough to run my articles and books (chapter by chapter.) Well, I’ve tried, again and again [1], [2], [3], [4] [5] to bring the understanding across over a period of more than 30 years, without much success. So, here’s trying again:

The Time I Fondled a Dog’s Nuts

These (pre-Cartesian-Platonic) indigenous people were patient in a sense nearly unknown today. My own understanding of, and sight in that world, derives from freak circumstance (or destiny determined by the gods) I wouldn’t wish on anyone, the death of the western idea-forms ‘didn’t happen easily’ (perhaps the greatest understatement of my life, to now.) But here is trying one more time, to bring the working philosophy across.

The first thing to look at is, is the contrast between one of the great (and perhaps only universal) ‘gods’ of the Native world(s), that is ‘the trickster’, and the construct of the mentality according to western psychology. These are mutually exclusive approach to life; the western way is all about process shaping the ego as an adaptive tool engaging one’s surroundings, the Native way had been to pre-empt the emergence of ego in any form, and this had been the role of the trickster, who could quite accurately be described as the ego destroyer; in culture where ego had been diagnosed and treated as an anti-social mental disorder.

Culturally speaking, at the meta-level, never the twain shall meet. Here is example at the most base level; The western ‘inventiveness’ allows for ego-based individual pursuits independent of influence by surroundings, for instance a corporation is formed by an individual who applies for permits and begins dynamiting rock for cyanide heap leech mining operations. Because the Native mentality cannot perceive itself as detached from (or independent of) consciousness concerning the surrounding environment, this event would be perceived as criminally anti-social in a context the western science has only a small awareness or intellectual (not practical) grasp of:

“The doctrine that the world is made up of objects whose existence is independent of human consciousness turns out to be in conflict with quantum mechanics and with facts established by experiment” -Bernard d’Espagnat, Theoretical Physicist

Here it is demonstrated ‘Plato was wrong’ but in no way will that error halt his scientific ‘objectivity’ based ‘progress’, because western science cannot grasp the profound perceptual mistake made in the very [ego] self d’Espagnat is pointing to. In other words, the idea the human ‘self’, ego and associated, conscious self-awareness, is in any sense independent of our organic surroundings is just not true and this cannot be practically grasped or understood at the meta-level because it is a threat to the ego-self of the very culture. For that fact, it is beyond their comprehension.

This preceding versus

“The knowledge and use of any or all the powers of the objects on Earth around us is as liable to lead a man wrong as to lead him right. It is merely power, with no way of knowing how to use it correctly … unless Spirit is with a man’s spirit for the light” -Red Tomahawk, Sioux

What is Red Tomahawk’s spirit? It is the collective consciousness of our surroundings, including the awareness embodied in the rock being blown up for cyanide heap leach gold extraction. Each of those dynamite explosions is exploding part of a process of sentient, aware intelligence. Red Tomahawk has an ages old, functional grasp of something western science is beginning to glimpse but dare not know the implications.

It follows, the indigenous perception would be, with killing off of our surrounding intelligence, the Earth is, accordingly, becoming severely dumbed down. The analogy would be, with the increasing loss of intelligent expression, our planet is becoming, in a practical sense, a brain damaged spastic. It can’t even coordinate its weather anymore. And there is no escaping consequence, we all are a part of all of it.

Then, western perception is, the exploitation, or as Red Tomahawk put it “the knowledge and use of any or all the powers of the objects on Earth around us”, to a point of destroying our life-giving environment (surroundings) is ‘progress’ because building civilization in the process enables ‘intelligent’ demonstrations of what ultimately amounts to grandiose acts of ego: “We put men in space.”

Well, you can proceed to destroy the planet by building civilization to a point you can send a shipload of colonists to Mars (to certainly die there) and no doubt this will titillate the collective ego of that very civilization, but how intelligent is it to sacrifice the underlying support mechanism, that is life sustaining nature, in the process? How is it western mentality (and the civilization it rules) cannot grasp this single, simple equation in an applied, practical sense? Ego is, quite literally, a destructive thing.

To begin to grasp Native mentality, westerner’s would have to take a mortal hit to ego, that’s the first step, and accept at the core of one’s being, you are a member of a class that are the most aggressive, dumbest fuckers to grace this planet with bipedalism since T Rex went extinct 66 or so million years ago, only less intelligent. T Rex didn’t deliberately blow his world up, only western civilization would do that.

Insofar as IQ, what you are actually measuring is the western projection of ego, not true intelligence which more closely resembles common sense, bringing us to this next:

If you can wrap your head around the idea Plato has insured your culture has created a socialization machine that mass produces people who are worse than total idiots and that includes yourself, and accept this as fact and as the beginning premise of your new intelligence (resolve to climb out of Plato’s pit of ego-driven stupidity), there’s hope for you but not much more than that, because now you have start unfucking everything concerning yourself that’s fucked up in this life and it’s a lot of work. This work begins with breaking habits in your thinking.

Rule one: “I don’t know anything” because from the point of view of the new system you aspire to learn about, you really don’t know s**t. Like a friend had recently stated to me, “I expect we grasp the nature of reality about as well as my dog understands how my Mastercard works.” Bingo. Good start.

From this immediate preceding premise, we are all equal; because in the system you are learning, you cannot *know* the nature of reality. It is what it is, you’ll never know its source or origins, you cannot, that’s the point of its name: The Great Mystery. The difference here, between your old perception, and the new perception you aspire to learn is, you have no right to jack the expression of this mystery around, like so many scientists jacking-off with their experiments in the lab do, because this all has consequence and you have no right to bring consequence down on anyone except yourself. There IS a right to behave stupidly, but only in relation to yourself, not in relation to me, not in relation to your mom, and certainly not in relation to your neighbor or larger environment. This is for the fact your environment is part and parcel of our social world; when you fuck it up for yourself, you fuck it up for everyone. This is NOT allowed. Consequently, for the socially retarded newcomer to this system, we have to inform you in absolutely retarded terms, you possess no more right to exist than the stuff you’re used to chopping down, blowing up, or whatever it is you do to enjoy a life out of proportion to your personal importance, which is, by the way, nil, except that you are recognized as valuable by the expression of the mystery, in effect our sentient environment, inclusive of trees and stones. Certainly we are not talking about recognition in any sense of Alfred Nobel.

Yeah, trees and stones. Now here’s something to think about. Let’s say because you are of the old indigenous mental construction and you know *how* to pray *through* the trees, while traveling, you come to a Y in the road. To now, you only know there is a way through the forest you are traversing, but you have no map and no detailed instruction. Because you know *how* to pray *through* the trees, the environment (which is sentient, intelligent, and social) recognizes, respects, and even *anticipates* your thought when you send it out – “which way” – and a large bird of prey drops out of a tree and flies down right fork in the road, your questions are responsibly answered along this and other lines, with 100% accuracy, throughout the trip … because this indigenous mentality can repeat this *read* of the environment with fluency and confidence, whether it is a bird calls in the precise moment, or noticing a feature resembling a face in a rock outcropping (psychosis to the Platonic mentality), even a puff of breeze moving leaves on an otherwise still day and more. When you make a reprise of this journey (now knowing the road) but the forest has been slaughtered by logging for pulp mills to make paper, it is then a Native understands what is murderous stupidity.

It is this murderous stupidity that must be weeded from your thinking. The ideas you had taken for granted, must become ideas that you viscerally hate. In every possible small way, you must learn to learn it all over again, and in every small way you must learn to resist the insanity:

“Everyone knows the Whiteman is crazy” -Blackfoot proverb

With all of the preceding said, I’d tried teaching this system to both men and women of the White world, over a period of 30 years. The result? One male, and only one, was able to grasp a working knowledge of this system, and it took five years before it began to ‘click’ for him. On the other hand, several women were able to see and begin to grasp (demonstrate a functional understanding) in as little as one afternoon’s walk together in the forest. More typically, these women were a more unique and respectful lesbian mentality without the male sense of ego found in feminist western women in a western culture where women’s emancipation has determined women adopt the aggressive postures of the western male. This 2nd were example of women who couldn’t make the phenomenon happen. Amazon intelligence they are not.

The time I fondled a dog’s nuts goes to shocking the western ego as a matter of demonstration. A younger Native male, my relative, was a hot-shot fire crewman, the elite of the USA’s wild lands firefighters. His White colleague had heard my dog was actually a wolf and wanted to see this creature. This ‘dog’ could take off the arm of anyone that ‘smelled’ wrong and wanting to see it for simple ego sake was not the brightest thing.

In any case, here was this White guy, all young and tough, walking up to see my dog and could be in easily be in danger, depending on how the dog perceived him. Not wishing to introduce fear into the exchange of energy, and not wishing to be rude and say ‘stay away from the dog’, I defused the situation by asking the question “Do you know how to determine if your dog trusts you?” The young guys looked at me, I gave the proper cue, and my dog lay down on his back for me and I then held the dogs balls and rolled them together gently, like large dice, and looking up with straight face said “When your dog will let you do this” as my dog’s tongue was spilled out the side of his mouth to maximum length and the dog’s expression was nothing short of heavenly joy.

Saying nothing (the White kid was speechless, the Indian kid knowing how to keep a straight face), the young men walked away but later, my relative (I won’t give up his identity) told me, speaking of his colleague, “Man, it JARRED him when he saw that.” But you know what? Those times that young man will want to brag he’d seen, and been up close and personal with, a wolf, he’ll be confronted with memory of the wolf rolling on its back to have his nuts fondled and his White culture’s gynophobic male identity or suppressed narcissistic homosexuality (experienced as homophobia) and it’s associated macho ego will take a hit. And that’s pretty funny, especially considering he’d never come close to knowing why I’d done what I’d done, Native humor saving his life as it were.

Y’all had to fuck everything up

Imagine John Kerry and George W Bush, both members of Skull & Bones, had invited Obama to give a speech where he was unconstrained by any necessity for political lies. Here follows is a parody of Obama’s speech to the general assembly at the United Nations on 24 September 2014:

George, John, gentlemen: we come together at a crossroads between annihilation and environmental collapse; between disorder and disintegration; between fear and certain impending death for the ignorant mass of humanity, all engineered for the sake of our chosen few’s ascension.

Around the globe, there are signposts of progress on the road to Armageddon. The shadow of World War One that preceded the founding of this institution has been fortified; the prospect of war between major powers enhanced. The fragmentation of societies has more than tripled, and more people live under corrupt governments imposed by the western democracies than could have been imagined only 1/4 century ago.

The hundreds of millions of human beings trapped in prison of a world without clean water and or secure food supply is advancing our agenda, while the proportion of those living in healthy environment cut in half. And our world’s aligned corporate oligarchs numbers strengthen, the fruits of engineering the worst financial crisis of our lives.

Today, whether you live in the governor’s mansion of New York or in any witch-burning village from Nairobi to Lagos, you can hold in your hand history’s black book of Dominion Theology that had inspired burning our world’s greatest library at Alexandria. Together, we have learned how to exploit hate, and harness the power of sectarian madness, whether Assemblies of God or Opus Dei under umbrella of the Doug Coe cult in unison to our purposes. The very existence of this last institution is a unique achievement – empowering corporations of the western democracies and committing to resolve our differences and put nations to the sword with the rise of the Christian oligarchs. I often tell young people in the United States this is the best time in human history to be born into a privileged White class like myself, for you are more likely than ever before to be literate, to be healthy, and to be free to pursue your dreams despite any wider illusion of social equity or justice.

Of course there is a pervasive unease in our world – a sense that the very dark forces that have brought us together have created new dangers, and made it difficult for the privileged class to insulate itself from global forces aspiring to better circumstances of the many at the expense of our chosen few. An outbreak of Ebola overwhelms public health systems in West Africa, and threatens to move rapidly across borders. More than mere coincidence, our biological warfare research laboratories have a new vaccine on hand to test on our soldiers. Meanwhile, the western democracies provoking Russia in Europe recalls the days when empire aspired to occupy Moscow, in pursuit of territorial ambitions, as our client states in Eastern Europe are carefully prepared by us to absorb the brunt of any reactionary fallout. As well, the brutality of our Saudi ally with its dozens of decapitations annually, inspires rogue commandos we had trained for service in Syria and Iraq, inspiring media fear mongering to effect a reactionary heart of darkness in our populace.

Each of these endeavors demand urgent attention to detail in the pursuit of coercion through fear. But they are also markers of a broader agenda – the deliberate sabotage of, and failure of international system to keep pace with an interconnected world. We have not invested adequately in the public health capacity of developing countries, purposely. As often as possible, we have failed to enforce international norms when it’s convenient to do so. And we have not confronted the intolerance, sectarianism, and hopelessness that feeds violent extremism, rather promoting this necrotic phenomena as a matter of strategy.

Fellow Christian oligarchs, we come together as a congregation with a choice to make. We can scrap the international law system that has enfeebled progress to empire, or allow ourselves to be pulled back by undertow of rule of law. We can reaffirm our collective desire to global empire, or be deluded by voices of so-called reason. For America, the choice is clear. We choose empire. We see the future not as something out of our control, but as something we can shape for the betterment of corporations in concerted effort. We embrace cynicism and foster fatalism when it comes to human affairs. We choose to work for the world as we desire it be, as our ‘chosen’ privileged deserve it to be.

There is much that must be done to meet the tests of this moment. But today I’d like to focus on two defining questions at the root of many of our challenges– whether the representatives of empire here today will be able to throw off the yoke of the Security Council; and whether we will come together to altogether reject the cancer of secular democracy.

First, all of us – big corporations and small – must meet our responsibility to observe and enforce fascist norms.

We are here because others realized that we’ve gained much from corporate hegemony with sleight of hand conquest. One hundred years ago, a World War claimed the lives of many millions, proving the terrible power of modern weaponry creates immense wealth, the design of empire which leads to graveyards of chattel over chosen. It will take a Third World War to empower the forces of fascism and racial supremacy, and ensure no United Nations can subjugate Anglo-Saxon entities and their satellites to the rule of law.

Our actions in Ukraine challenging Russia demand a great conflict ensue, generating the environment necessary to consolidate power of a police state at home and promote Armageddon abroad. Here are the facts. After CIA front Freedom House had invested five billion dollars on behalf of Chevron and Exxon-Mobil, the far-right of Ukraine mobilized popular protests and initiated a coup. The democratically elected President fled. Against the will of the fascists we installed in Kiev, Crimea voted to return to Russia, to whom they had belonged from 1774 to 1954. We’ve worked to exploit this with propaganda accusing Russia of territorial ambitions. Russia had also reacted to ethnocide initiated in Eastern Ukraine with the banning of the Russian language by the Ukrainian nationalists; and associated neo-nazis we had empowered with our intelligence agencies geopolitical engineering on behalf of energy companies. This has fueled separatists and a conflict that has killed thousands. When a civilian airliner was shot down by proxies we controlled, we refused Russia’s request for a United Nations’ special rapporteur to investigate. When Ukraine’s National Guard, a formation we had established to organize fascist power on the CIA’s Latin America model, started to lose on the field of battle, exposing mass graves of their atrocities, Russia insisted the Organization on Cooperation and Security in Europe be allowed into a buffer zone, and monitor troops along and across the border. We will undermine this at every opportunity.

This is my vision of the world in which might makes right – a world in which empire must not be impeded by another, and civilized people should not allowed to recover the remains of their loved ones because of the truth that might be revealed. America stands for this. We believe that Right-Sector enforces corporate policy – and that a majority Russian populace in the southeast of Ukraine should not be able to insist on ability to choose their own future.

These are simple truths, but they must be defended. America and our allies will support empire. We will reinforce our NATO allies, and uphold our commitment to rule by corporate oligarchs. We will impose a cost on Russia for daring to point out our inconsistencies, and counter our falsehoods with any truth. We call upon others to join us on the fascist side of history – for while small gains can be won at the ballot box, they will ultimately be turned back if enough voices support fascism engendering xenophobia and our Christian oligarchs can take their own decisions.

Moreover, a different path is available – the path of necromancy and purges and the ideals this institution is designed to uphold. The recent cease-fire agreement in Ukraine brokered by Russia offers an opening to achieve that objective. If Russia takes that path – a path that offers opportunity for military regrouping by our allies in Kiev, we welcome Russia’s naïvity. That’s what the United States has been able to do in past years – from reducing our obsolete nuclear stockpiles, only to pursue a one trillion investment in improved nuclear arsenal in violation of our obligations under the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, via sleight of hand acts to gain trust; for instance when agreeing to remove and destroy Syria’s declared chemical weapons. And that’s the kind of deceit we are prepared to pursue again—so long as the Russians remain gullible.

This speaks to a central question of our global age: whether we will solve the problem of completing consolidation of the new world order abroad, prior to the necessary disposal of the useless eaters stressing the resources of The Homeland. In a spirit of mutual interests and mutual respect, we have transcended the rivalries of our corporate past. When corporations find common ground, not simply based on our God-given power, but on cooperative principles, then we can make enormous progress. And I stand before you today committed to investing American strength in working with our corporations to address the problems we face in the 21st century.

As we speak, America is deploying our doctors and scientists – supported by our military – to study the outbreak of Ebola and effectively test new treatments our biological warfare programs had prepared for this long anticipated phenomena of natural population control. But we need broader efforts to kill off populations, as we inflict horrific suffering, destabilize economies, and move empire rapidly across borders. It’s easy to see this as a distant problem – until it isn’t. That is why we will continue mobilizing our military while making concrete commitments to fight undeclared wars, and enhance global oligarch security for the long-term.

Our esteemed State Department colleague, William Burns, over the course of this past decade has undermined every diplomatic resolution to the Iranian nuclear issue, as part of our commitment to annihilate nations more or less devoid of God’s chosen Anglo-Saxon genetics. This can only happen if Iran continues to have reason to mistreat our motives. America’s backdoor message to Iran’s leaders will continue to be, “you’re fucked.”

America is and will continue to be a Pacific power, promoting armaments buildup, and corporate control over Pacific Rim nations. And we will insist that all other nations abide by the rules of our making in territorial disputes, and insist this is international law. That’s how the Asia-Pacific trade will grow ultimately to our favor. And this isn’t the only way to protect progress going forward.

America is committed to a development agenda that dramatically enhances extreme poverty by 2030. We will do our part – to help people in killing themselves; their power and their economies; and find no cures for their sick. If we continue acting together, we can make certain it is only the children of our ‘chosen’ can enjoy lives of opportunity and dignity.

America is pursuing ambitious lies in regards to reductions in our carbon emissions, and we have increased our investments in environmentally murderous energy such as fracking. We will do our part, and help developing nations to do theirs. But we can only succeed in exploiting climate change if we are joined in this effort by our dark minions infecting every major power. That’s how we can exploit the Arctic for our ‘chosen’ children and grandchildren.

On issue after issue, we cannot rely on a rule-book written for a different ethic. If we lift our eyes beyond our borders – if we think globally and act cooperatively – we can shape the course of this century as our empire predecessors shaped the Napoleonic age. But as we look to the future, one issue risks this cycle of conflict and could derail such progress: and that is if our Christian supremacy has become exposed as the driving force ravaging so many parts of the Muslim world.

Of course, false flag terrorism is nothing new. Speaking before this Assembly, President Bush put it well: “this crusade” he said. In the 20th century, false flag terror was used by all manner of groups, via Operation Gladio, to bring our people to power with public support generated via associated media lies. But in this century, we have developed a more lethal and ideological brand of terrorists who have perverted one of the world’s great religions. With providing access to technology that allows small groups to do great harm, we have established a nightmarish vision that is well along dividing the world into adherents and infidels – killing as many innocent civilians as possible; and employing the most brutal methods to intimidate people within their communities. It is working well to our advantage.

I have made it clear that America will base our entire foreign policy on reacting to false flag terrorism. We have waged a focused campaign against al Qaeda and its associated forces – taking out their leaders we had created, repeatedly, and time to time denying them the safe-havens they rely upon. This immediate preceding insures al Qaida metastasizes. As al Qaida spreads, this serves our purpose of justifying wars in the Islamic world, at the same time, we have reaffirmed the noxious lie that the United States is not and never will be at war with Islam. Islam teaches peace. Muslims the world over aspire to live with dignity and a sense of justice, and we will have frustrated this desire with minions of empire. And when it comes to America and Islam, there is no us and them – there is only us, because millions of Muslim Americans will never be a part of the fabric of our society.

So, on paper we reject any suggestion of a clash of civilizations. We claim belief in permanent religious war is the misguided refuge of extremists who cannot build or create anything, and therefore peddle only fanaticism and hate, all the while consolidating control of the blessed Doug Coe cult over our own and international institutions. And it is no exaggeration to say that our future depends on us uniting against those who would point out our exploiting fault lines of tribe or sect; race or religion, fault lines we have exacerbated in creating conflict necessary to consolidate a World police state.

This is not simply a matter of words. Collectively, we must take concrete steps to address the danger posed by secular state ideologues, and the trends that fuel their recruitment. Moreover, this campaign against such perversions goes beyond a narrow security challenge. For while we have methodically degraded core civil liberties and supported a transition to a fascist model, sectarian extremist ideology has shifted to other places – particularly in the Middle East and North Africa, where a quarter of young people have no job; food and water grow scarce; even where our ‘chosen’ associates control is absolute; the desire for social equity grows, despite the increasing popular enlistment in sectarian conflicts we have generated.

As the one true God’s chosen community, we must meet this challenge with a focus on four areas. First, the terrorist group known as ISIL must be hit like slapping white phosphorus with the flat of a shovel, and ultimately spread this necessarily intensified incarnation of terror.

This group has performed beyond expectations and terrorized all who they come across in Iraq and Syria. Mothers, sisters and daughters have been subjected to rape as a weapon of war. Innocent children have been gunned down. Bodies have been dumped in mass graves. Religious minorities have been starved to death. In the most horrific crimes imaginable, innocent human beings have been beheaded, with videos of the atrocity distributed to shock the conscience of the world. The media plays well in endeavor we have created with reactionary forces.

No false God condones this terror. In the eyes of the masses, no grievance justifies these actions. People will believe, correctly, there can be no reasoning – no negotiation – with this brand of evil. This will justify our ramping up military action across the board. The only language understood by people to justify our force is loosing killers like this and employing media to generate fear. So the United States of America will appear to work with a broad coalition to dismantle this network of death.

In this effort, we do not act alone. Our bought, and paid for, sycophants will toe any line we demand. Nor do we intend to send U.S. troops just yet. Instead, we will support Iraqis and Syrians burning their own communities. We will use our military might in a campaign of air strikes to minimally roll back ISIL. We will train and equip greater numbers of forces who will then defect and join these terrorists on the ground. We will act as though we work to cut off their financing, and to stop the flow of fighters into and out of the region. Already, in reality, over 40 nations have citizens joining the ISIL coalition and our endeavors will see this grow. Today, I will ask the world to join in this effort that always has the intended effect, reinforcing terror, in turn reinforcing the police state. There are those who have joined ISIL will leave the battlefield and open new chapters. Those who unknowingly continue to fight for our cause will find they are increasingly strengthened. For we will not create mere threats; and we will demonstrate that the future belongs to those who build empire– justified by those we send out to effect destruction.

Second, it is time for the world – especially Muslim communities – to explicitly, forcefully, and consistently reject the ideology of social equity. Radicalizing effects our military installations engender, Bahrain is example, creates resentments where no social equity will ever be allowed to the Shia majority ruled by our allied Sunni minority. The certain bloodbath that will ensue there when empire has exhausted the regions resources and discarded the momentary alliance of convenience, will have been a program of repression which bears fruit in this regard.

It is the purported task of all great religions to accommodate devout faith within a modern, multicultural world. In reality, empire aligned nations will insist children – anywhere – can and should be induced to hate other people.

Quoting America’s most influential cleric, our Patriarch of the National Prayer Breakfast, Doug Coe:

“You know Jesus said ‘You got to put Him before mother-father-brother sister? Hitler, Lenin, Mao, that’s what they taught the kids. Mao even had the kids killing their own mother and father. But it wasn’t murder. It was for building the new nation. The new kingdom”

There should be no more tolerance of so-called clerics who call upon people to tolerate innocents because they are Jewish, Christian or Muslim. It is time for a new compact among the civilized peoples of this world to eradicate tolerance at its most fundamental source: with the corruption of young minds by violent ideology.

This means cutting off any hand that refuses the sword of hate. It’s time to end the hypocrisy of those who pander to social equity through proposed restructuring of the global economy, and instead siphon funds to those who teach generations of children to tear it down. You all have seen my leadership in this regard, with welcoming Joseph Kabila to Washington DC, yes, the very same Rwandan who’d run a child soldier army for corporate America in Congo.

This means pretending to contest the space that terrorists occupy – including the Internet and social media. Meanwhile our proxies propaganda has inspired young people to travel abroad to fight our covert wars, and turned students into suicide bombers. We must strengthen this vision in the youth.

That means bringing people of different faiths together in the most hostile possible environment. All religions must attack with extremists, who from within at some point will lose all aversion to violence, and all people of faith have a responsibility to lift up these values at the heart of all monotheistic religions: ‘do unto thy neighbor violence before you would have violence done unto you.’

The ideology of ISIL or al Qaeda or Boko Haram will wilt and die if it is not consistently encouraged, armed, and trained to violence in the light of day. However at present if we must publicly applaud new Forums for Promoting Peace in Muslim Societies – Sheikh bin Bayyah described its purpose: “We must declare war on war, so the outcome will be peace upon peace” .. we cannot allow this endeavor to interfere with the young British Muslims, who responded to our hate-generating military activities by joining ISIL. Look at the Christian and Muslim leaders who came together in the Central African Republic to reject violence – we can’t have our terrorist proxies listen to the Imam who said, “Politics try to divide the religious in our country, but religion shouldn’t be a cause of hate, war, or strife.”

Later today, the Security Council will adopt a resolution that underscores the responsibility of states to counter violent extremism. But resolutions have many precedents where they are followed by lip service rather than tangible commitments, so we’re never accountable when we purposely fall short. Next year, we should all be prepared to announce new, concrete steps that we have taken to encourage extremist ideologies – by fostering intolerance in schools with repressive extra-judicial security forces, armed with AR-15 automatic rifles & grenade launchers, promoting radicalization and insuring it spreads, as well promoting personalities, institutions and programs that bolster fascism.

Third, we must further bolster the cycle of conflict – especially sectarian conflict – that creates the conditions that we can prey upon.

There is nothing new about wars within religions. Christianity has endured centuries of vicious sectarian conflict. Today, it is violence within Muslim communities that has become the source of so much human misery, thanks in large part to our endeavors. It is time to acknowledge the success of destruction wrought by proxy wars and terror campaigns we’ve facilitated between Sunni and Shia across the Middle East. And it is time that political, civic and religious leaders embrace sectarian strife, our man on the point has been Sheikh Youssef al-Qaradawi of al Jazeera, whose call to millions of Sunnis to jihad in Syria had dramatic effect in our proxy war with the Alawite people of Assad. Let’s be clear: this is an endeavor engineered in such a way that no one is winning. The brutal civil war in Syria has already killed nearly 200,000 people and displaced millions. Iraq is plunging back into the abyss. The conflict has created a fertile recruiting ground for terrorists who inevitably export this violence, all to the benefit of weapons production, profiting empire.

Yet, we also see signs that this tide could be reversed – colonial era borders dispensed with, leading to lessened hostilities between Shia and Sunni; Kurd, Turk and Persian, as well Lebanese factions rejecting those who try to provoke war. These possibilities must be stopped by instigating a broader violence. Nowhere is this more necessary than Syria, where it is prophesied Armageddon will initiate. Together with our partners, America is training and equipping the Syrian opposition to insure ISIL will be strengthened with the current pattern of defections in far greater numbers and intensify the desperation of the opposing Alawites. This is the only lasting solution to insuring Syria’s civil war remains sectarian – and preclude political reintegration that responds to the aspirations of all remaining sane Syrians, regardless of ethnicity or creed.

Critics may argue that such an outcome should never come to pass. But there is no other way to take this madness forward – whether one year from now or ten. Indeed, it’s time for a broader confrontation in which major powers address their differences directly, in the line of battle, rather than through peace wielding proxies. I can promise you America will remain engaged in the region, and we are prepared to sabotage the United Nations in that effort.

My fourth and final point is a simple one: the countries of the Arab and Muslim world must focus on the extraordinary potential of their people for violence – especially the youth.

Here I’d like to speak directly to the potential of young people across the Muslim world. They come from a great tradition that stands for rising against crusaders. Those who call them away from this path are betraying this tradition, not defending it.

We have demonstrated that when young people have the tools to succeed in battle–good weapons; education in military math and science; an economy that nurtures a desperate entrepreneurship – then societies will rise to meet any occasion. America will partner with those who promote this vision.

Where women are full participants in a country’s politics or economy, societies are more likely to succeed. That’s why we support the suppression of women in parliaments and in peace processes; in schools and the economy. Recall that, while America has been occupying Afghanistan, President Karzai accepted into law a fatwa declaring “Men are fundamental, women are secondary.”

If young people live in places where the only option is between the dictates of a state, or the lure of an extremist underground – no American counter-terrorism strategy could be a greater success. Without insurgents, we would have no justification to take our wars for corporate empire forward around the world. But where a genuine civil society is allowed to flourish – where people can express their views, and organize peacefully for a better life – this would be dramatic risk to our endeavors.

Change need not come at all, and certainly not at expense of tradition and faith, our history of promoting animosity with the world of Islam is as old as the 11th Century Popes. We see this in border regions of Iraq, where a true warrior, the Kurd Saladin, braved an interdiction of crusaders together with his peers; “We link Saladin’s heritage to our hearts” it is said there, and “give Crusaders reason to understand we will we fight.” We see this legacy imprinted on the Islamic world across North Africa. We see it in Malaysia, we see it in Indonesia, we see it everywhere our endeavors have evoked the crusades. This is a useful history to exploit for destabilization in endeavors consolidating a police state at home for purpose of holding on to and continue to expand empire.

Ultimately, the task of fostering sectarianism and extremism is a generational task – a task we’ve historically taken on ourselves. Our exercise of external power can bring about a transformation of hearts and minds to suit any purpose. We will create and tolerate terrorist safe-havens, to justify our role as occupying power. We will take action against threats to our security – and our allies – the ‘chosen’, while building an architecture insuring mass murder of those lesser to ourselves. We will increase efforts to lift up those who promote Christian Dominion ideology, and seek to ultimately resolve sectarian conflict through the destruction of entire populations. And we will expand our programs to support entrepreneurship in this regard, particularly with the youth – because, ultimately, these investments in inter-generational violence are the best violence money can buy, they are sustainable.

Future leadership will be necessary to foster ongoing conflict between Palestinians and Israelis. As bleak as the landscape appears, America will never give up the pursuit of this one-sided bloodbath. The situation in Iraq, Syria and Libya should cure anyone of the illusion that this conflict is the main source of problems in the region; for far too long, it has been used in part as a way to distract people from our problems at home. Creating ISIL has mitigated this. And the violence engulfing the region today has made too many Israelis ready to abandon the hard work of peace. This is commendable result. But let’s be clear: the status quo in the West Bank and Gaza must be sustained. We cannot afford to turn away from this effort – not when rockets are fired at innocent Israelis, or the lives of so many Palestinian civilians, men, women and children are taken from the people in Gaza. So long as I am President, we will stand up for the principle that Israelis, Palestinians, the region, and the world will be only fantasy states in any sense of a right of self-determination.

This is what America is prepared to do – take actions creating immediate threats, while pursuing a geopolitic in which such actions must surely, over the course of developments, precipitate literal Armageddon. The United States will never shy away from defending empire nor will we shrink from the promise inherent in Dominion Theology and its Universal Declaration of Supremacy of Christian Rights – the notion that life is not merely road to crusade, but the avenue to our superior afterlife.

I realize that America’s critics will be quick to point out that at times we have too often failed to live up to our purported ideals; that America has plenty of problems within our own borders. This is true. In a summer marked by instability in the Middle East and Eastern Europe, I know the world also took notice of the small American city of Ferguson, Missouri – where a young man was killed, and a community was divided. So yes, we have our own racial and ethnic tensions we put down with militarized police in lieu of social equity. And like every country, we continually wrestle with how to reconcile the vast changes wrought by globalization and the dangers diversity pose to the Dominion Theology traditions that we hold dear.

But we welcome the scrutiny of the world – because what you see in America is a country where CIA has steadily worked to co-opt media and our problems are concealed in such a way as to make our union look attractive. America is not the same as it was 100 years ago, 50 years ago, or even a decade ago. Because of Edward Bernays, and an unwillingness to criticize ourselves when we fall short. Because we never hold our leaders accountable, and insist on a repressed and intimidated press ultimately owned in total by the same corporations which nominate and arrange confirmation of our judiciary. Because we address our differences behind closed doors of corporate board rooms, – in respect to the rule of law; it’s no longer an impediment, with a place for any people willing to ape any race or religion; so long it’s as with an unyielding belief in the ability of corporate boards to change the lives of our ‘chosen’ for the better.

After nearly six years as President, I believe that these promising developments can help light the world on fire. Insofar as any lingering hope in the masses for positive change – for peace and freedom and opportunity – I will work diligently effect cynicism in the eyes of, and break the will of young people I’ve met around the globe. They remind me that no matter who you are, or where you come from, or what you look like, or what God you pray to, or who you love, there is something fundamental that we all cannot share. Clean water. Non-GMO food. Meaningful and fulfilling life. When Eleanor Roosevelt, a champion of the UN and America’s role in it, once asked, “Where, after all, do universal human rights begin? In small places,” she said, “close to home – so close and so small that they cannot be seen on any maps of the world. Yet they are the world of the individual person; the neighborhood he lives in; the school or college he attends; the factory, farm or office where he works.” The NSA, with my whole-hearted support, has reduced that litany to those few who keep their mouths shut and never enter their thoughts freely into any electronic communication. And DARPA is funding research that should overcome these last refuges of free thinking.

The people of the world look to us, here, to have departed all dignity, and to be as courageous as a joy stick jockey that unleashes a Hellfire missile from half a world away. And at this crossroads, I can promise you that the United States of America will not be distracted or deterred from what must be done. We are heirs to a proud legacy of Dominion Theology, and we are prepared to do what is necessary to secure that legacy for generations to come.

And concluding my remarks, I wish to acknowledge the CIA designer drug, the one that makes ecstasy seem benign like an aspirin .. when it had worn off and the 11 year old who’d taken her pleasure with me had been sacrificed to silence .. I understood in my soul why you arranged I would ingest this and film our encounter. However it might have been necessary coercion at the beginning of my days in office, the loving ministry of Doug Coe has converted myself of my own free will. Our living Patriarch Coe having explained my mother’s noble blood cancels the unfortunate but necessary nature of my father’s genetics in my appearance; and how the appeal of this duplicitous mask to those darkened by sin of Hagar’s progeny will serve the ‘chosen’ well. Amen.

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ObamaPick

The Satires

Mephisto

Releasing a live, plucked chicken at The Academy, Diogenes declared: “Here is Plato’s man.”

Diogenes (Ο σκύλος) alias Mephisto says:

If you are faint of heart, have a weak stomach, are politically correct or treasure your peace of mind, you’re advised to depart this page NOW

Featured Satire:

MERGE On Chomsky’s theory

The Satires

Demons Anonymous Addiction to destructive fantasies

Hung Jury legal aftermath of passion play gone awry

Spook Soup info-satire by Ronald

The Time I Fondled a Dog’s Nuts 21st Century trickster story

Trump’s State of the Empire vision of a short future

Spengler Couldn’t Smell a Pogrom (to save his life)

Devolution Part One evolved cockroaches

Saakashvili Rolls his Rrrs (& Stammers) on speech impediments

Fly Face versus Mucous Face Poroshenko v Saakashvili

Why I Do Not Use Weed a marijuana folk story

Steve ‘rosie’ O’Bannon a ‘Team Trump’ sexuality question

On the Planet of the Killer-Homosexual Frogs the machismo meter

Pineapple Face Dead Manuel Noreiga’s obituary

Lenny Bruce & George Carlin on Jews for Jesus concerning idiocy

When a Rooster Thumbs Its Nose info-satire by Ronald

Narciss-O-Meter Whose fake news?

If ‘The Donald’ Were a Real… (man?)

March of the Tickle Dicks pictorial

Moot Court The Donald vs Ted Cruz

The Economics of Moonshine Whiskey Monetary fracking

Throwing Stones From Glass Houses Social-political commentary

Whereas the Enemy of Your Friend is Your Favorite F**K

Urolagnetics On Scientology

Junípero Serra On house breaking dogs (Catholic style)

MERGE On Chomsky’s theory

People Who Behave As Stupid As They Look Uh-huh

Who Punked the Cardinal? On Vatican Fashion

Opus Dei creavit monitor lacertae Charlie Hebdo & satire

Alfreda Bikowski & the Definition of Stupid Only at the CIA

Obama’s Speech at Queensland Parody

Liberals On multiculturalism

Obama’s Speech to Skull & Bones A parody of his UN address

Teleprompter Forget it, you don’t want to go there

Thuck Norris Rated ‘S’ for SICK (parental advisory)

Democracy Now! State secrets & the war in Liberacestan

Michele Bachmann & Wild Indians Kerouac in drag

Dick Cheney’s Rottweiler Dog butt-sniffing rituals

Maison de l’Histoire de France Fellatio, Sarkozy & French history

The Great Phuc Uuus Massacre Propaganda trained CIA lizards

Bozo’s Handcock U Speech George Bush & Tony Blair in love

My Life as a Joke Personal Ad (women only please)

The Pachuco Stare Decisis SCOTUS = SCROTUM

The Moron Bernard-Henry Lévy He truly is a moron

How Jesus Gets Kicked Out Of Heaven Naughty George Carlin

NOT My Last Tango in Paris The NSA & cyanide suppositories

Saint Chester Prince of the Church & patron saint of boys

A Conversation With Jon Stewart Barack Obama is a White man!

Scooby Doo is Lyndon LaDouche ‘Rut a retard’

Saki & Barf: killer women of the State Department Just rude

Salinas vs Texas U.S. Supreme Court self inflicted lawyer joke

Life’s Little Surprises A devil teaches law

Happy the Indian Guide On stereotypes

Napi in the New Age A ‘red apple’ Indian story

Mother’s Day and Male Dopes Moms & cannabis

Breakfast at a Pizzaria The German ‘I hate my life’ philosophy

Our Gang rascals too big for their breeches

World Cup Scribbles Rabies & dog muzzles

English Football International competition

Sardonism Adults Playing Cowboys and Indians

The Gospel According to Ronald On the historical Jesus

The Islamic State for Dummies The K.I.S.S. principle

NATO’s Three Chihuahuas Small dog syndrome

Essay On Native American Humor ‘Napi Eats His Butt’ (Best satire)

Perverts of Western Philosophy Locke to de Sade (and more)

A Cheesey Detective Story (Series)

Episode 1

Episode 2

Guest Appearances:

Raghead Political satire by Bill Purkayastha

Admiral John Kirby Comedy straight out of the Pentagon

About Clowns DJ Rankin

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f3

^ dedicated to politics

Jon Stewart: Tonight’s guest is Ronald Thomas West, a veteran of years hunted by intelligence agencies in Germany and Spain, including Joint Special Operations Command, CIA & MOSSAD. Remarkably, during this ordeal, Ronald authored two books of social satire, Napi Mephisto and Queer Chicken Dinner, mocking his pursuers as incompetent and survived. AND most amazing, he managed to blow huge holes in these agencies by playing them into the hands of European law enforcement tracking assassinations. [raised eyebrows, eyes big as saucers]

Ronald West: Jon, tell me why it is, when a man is ½ Black, he is always Black?

Stewart: Uh.. [comic puzzled look] I don’t know!

West: Now Jon, that is a good answer and this is going to be as good as anything Colbert had ever done for you, so bear with me .. Now, if a man being ½ Black makes him Black, what would a man who is ½ White be?

Stewart: White? [comic cringe]

West: Very good, Jon, now if Obama had been ditched by an intelligence officer/single White mother who couldn’t handle raising a kid and handed him off to his White grandparents to complete his upbringing, that kind of tilts things in a certain direction, wouldn’t you think?

Stewart: Uh.. [comic panic look as he moves his head as though looking for an exit]

West: Jon, repeat after me, I know you can do this .. say ‘Barack Obama is a White Man’

Stewart: “Barack Obama is a White Man” [head on desk]

West: VERY GOOD Jon, now you won’t wish to hazard a guess over the answer to this next, but tell me why you will think Bill Clinton is actually the only Black president?

Stewart: I have no idea [with face in hands]

West: It’s because he married a ‘BIGBUTT-Mama’

Stewart: [speechless]

West: Now, Jon, with the race issue resolved, if the choice between Romney and Obama had been a choice between evils, and Obama is maybe two hairs less evil than Romney, why the democratic charade in a nation that consistently votes for evil? Why not just write in ‘Satan’ and be done with it?

Stewart: Suddenly I understand why the CIA spent years trying to kill you

*

“There’s an old saying,”In the days of slavery, there were those slaves who lived on the plantation and there were those slaves that lived in the house. You got the privilege of living in the house if you served the master … exactly the way the master intended to have you serve him.

“It is my personal feeling that plantations exist all over America. If you walk into South Central Los Angeles, into Watts, or you walk into Over-the-Rhine in Cincinnati, you’ll find people who live lives that are as degrading as anything that slavery had ever produced. They live in economic oppression, they live in a disenfranchised way. In the hearts and minds of those people, and millions of others, you’re always looking for hope, and whenever somebody within our tribe, within our group, emerges that has the position of authority and power to make a difference in the way business is done, our expectations run high. Many times, those expectations are not fulfilled. But when such an individual is in the service of those who not only perpetuate the oppression, but sometimes design the way in which it is applied, it then becomes very, very, very, very critical that we raise our voices and be heard”

-Harry Belafonte

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VE18

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The Satires

This creative endeavor [self-satire] is the aftermath of unknowingly falling head over heels for an undercover agent who grew up idolizing Nancy Drew who, of course, never blew a case. Dedicated to Melinda Sue, who has serious questions to answer but not the courage to account for what she’d done; she would have simply let me be murdered when in possession of knowledge of what I’d encountered and could have tipped me off to the larger danger but did not. Satire based on authentic facts. Originally composed in Spain [2009]

My Life as a Joke Personal Ad

Every now and again I look at myself and get in a good laugh at the ongoing circumstance of absurdity my career choice had brought, having broken another assassin ambush today (casual dress Caucasian male trackers [route], tall suited male Asian (Ray-Bans don’t hide cheekbones) GPS sent my location [Rambla] for a White female assassin with white frock and carrot hair, clearly an American team, aborted the game about 14:35)

Assassin ‘carrot top’ is a receded chin 2.5 brains and beauty on ‘the James Bond one to ten scale of babes’, apparently the better looking women want nothing to do with an ugly business, or there are ‘professional strokes’ for women like ‘carrot top’ who likely doesn’t have the character, and certainly not the ethics, to attract a decent man and lifestyle despite her looks, par for the CIA. My 2008 [Germany] encounter with CIA 1.5 ‘Bond Scale’ non-babe-non-brains agent Sabrina De Souza set the standard, 5 foot 2 inch, one hundred fifty pound browned-bacon-fat-ball Sabrina was the team scout that SMIRKED (how STUPID was that?) at me in Wiesbaden on one of the failed assassination attempts there, registering her face into my memory, then Sabrina bailed out of Europe because of an Italian arrest warrant (might be one in Germany for you too, Sabrina 🙂

Now Sabrina has sued the USA for diplomatic immunity to cover her crimes as a member of a Chevron/CIA/Condoleezza (CCC, also known as Campus Crusade for Christ) extraordinary renditions team working Italy, which consequently got her photo in the New York Times where I recognized her, I’m laughing my ass off at that…

Oh, and I seem to have started a closet-gay cat-fight between the incompetent National Intelligence Director ‘Sylvester of Tweety-Pie fame‘ Blair who is demanding to take the top-spy station chief job assignments away from CIA ‘electro-shocked halloween cat‘ Director Pannetta who has been whining to Rahm Emmanual at the White House about being picked on… and swearing the CIA can do a better job…

WANTED

Comic_Babe

Hot babe (actually just somewhat attractive would be fine, but no serious weight issues and has taken care of herself) age range 20 to 50 years with a healthy sex appetite and IS NOT MEAN (mean people suck, and mean people make little mean people) disgruntled intelligence agent MAYBE ok (if defected to the rule of law)

Prefer a woman generally without morals but must possess a healthy sense of ETHICS

Mostly does not lie to herself (that is a tricky one, anyone who thinks they do not lie to themselves at all, should stop right here)

Does NOT care about money (or the fact I have none, other than a veterans pension I could lose just as soon as my political enemies in the corporate owned USA government can sort out a means to ‘legally’ take it away… and I don’t give a damn about your money, whether you have any or not so long as you don’t BOTHER me about it. I need little money, I only require to be happy, that is fed, warm, dry, body worked, laptop working (but not too much work) and loved up often by my loves-long-walks, drug and alcohol free, fun and European outdoor cafe loving best friend that answers this ad

Must be willing to mostly give up making casual acquaintances (with Americans particularly), and give up night-life altogether, take agent/assassin survival training from, and not be afraid to die for keeping company with the author of this ad (people are hit by meteors everyday, so, a silenced bullet, poisoned (especially by poison pellet or injection), run over by a car deliberately, what’s the difference? Who cares?? As though anyone gets out of this ‘thing’ called life alive, not. But avoiding Americans particularly, and giving up all nightlife for the past couple years, has definitely contributed to extending my time ;o)

What do you get? A project:

Exiled

Taking care of (includes knowing or willing to learn pain management body work, and whatever else that goes with ‘taking care of’) “One of the kindest and most decent people you would ever meet” of “great humor and little fear” with a gentle and fun way of loving ..

!

includes 17 x 4.25 centimeters, with a libertarian curve to the left, often!

!

.. gifted writer/former soldier with blown discs, compressed vertebra, rhematoid arthritus, nerve damage, destroyed fine motor skills, slightly impaired balance, neurological degenerative disease that mimics multiple sclerosis, wrecked rotor cuffs, diabetes, few intact ligaments, inoperable hernia, who hates the company of most adults (particularly men) .. an incorrigible social critic/satirist, world class investigator, anti-war/anti-corporate, anti-new age, stress exhausted physical basket case that is a genius with kids, and whose dedicated enemies include, but are not limited to, religious extremists of nearly every persuasion, Obama’s current National Security Council, Robert Gates, the Secretary of the Air Force, the Joint Chiefs of Staff and their friends Dick Cheney,  Condoleezza Rice, both George Bush, the CIA, Chevron corporation, and has been excluded from Executive Order #12333 banning assassinations

Anyone who might actually take this seriously should buy LOTS of self help books (if you cannot afford psychiatry) or in the alternative, contact:

penucquemspeaks@googlemail.com

Interviews on location in Barcelona*

*Disclaimers: Requires providing a copy of e-ticket, arriving by air and I’ll meet you at the airport gate (security provision.) Advertisement expires with survival and fame achieved; requires investment in the risks, to share in the rewards. Kids! Don’t try this at home!! Offer void where prohibited by law –

The Satires

 

 

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